Be Prepared: Bloomberg Might Accept Jesus

[Johny Joe Hold]

Michael Bloomberg has jumped from zero the four percent in just a few days. I think we have to face the fact that people love billionaires.

What Bloomberg has against him is he is a Jew. But that could change. If he is suddenly says he had a talk with Jesus and has become Christian billionaire just like the President it's off to the races.

We who are working for Donald Trump should be ready in case that happens. I'm thinking we could accuse Bloomberg of changing so he and all Jews would not have to be held responsible to killing Jesus.

We need some ideas here.

[Brother Gonzalez]

Re: Be Prepared: Bloomberg Might Accept Jesus

Nowadays you cannot accept Jesus without accepting Trump.

If he really accepts Jesus, he should step down from presidential race.


If he does not do so, we now he is lying.


This time is easy to spot the Jew conspiracy, my friends.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Be Prepared: Bloomberg Might Accept Jesus

Michael Bloomberg has jumped from zero the four percent in just a few days.

Don't be too concerned. Pete Boot-Edge-Edge was a quick riser, but ended up at a plateau, just can't hit the sweet spot, and is starting to get floppy. Sort of like what happens to bi-curious men as they lose their curiosity, or so I've heard.

The only candidate I'm leery of is the Wu-Tang whats-his name with the Kool and the Gang.

Yang Gang, Andrew Yang. Weird guy. Never tries to be anything other than what he is, shamelessly wonkish, actually knows how to focus, despite a fractured, balkanized democrat electorate that is always saying "what about meeeeee!!!1"

He talks economics! He talks about truckers.

He's got more businesses than Lizzie Warren has tribes, he's caught the attention of the young and meme-y, every time he speaks he gets more popular. One in Ten Trump voters will switch sides if he wins the primary.

He's the least hated, also the least heard of - a stealth candidate. As Brother Trump says: "The only thing I worry about is that some total unknown that nobody ever heard of comes along..."

And he'll save on Secret Service costs because of course he knows Karate.

[Basilissa]

Re: Be Prepared: Bloomberg Might Accept Jesus

Yang Gang, Andrew Yang. Weird guy. Never tries to be anything other than what he is, shamelessly wonkish, actually knows how to focus, despite an electorate that is always saying "what about meeeeee!!!1"

He talks economics! He talks about truckers.

He's got more businesses than Lizzie Warren has tribes, he's caught the attention of the young and meme-y, every time he speaks he gets more popular.

And of course he'll save on secret service costs because he knows Karate.

Meh. No Christian voter is going to vote for some Feng Shui confusionist. He might beat the crap out of his contenders in the primary, but he has no chance against The Most Christian Candidate of them All, America's Best Leader Ever, the King of Greenland, God-anointed Donald J. Trump ().

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Be Prepared: Bloomberg Might Accept Jesus

I think we have to face the fact that people love billionaires.

Brother Mr Mayor, Sir, I'm confused. You say that like it's a bad thing?

But leaving that aside, and ignoring the Joo business (which we definitely shouldn't!), there are many other problems with this Bloomberg person. I mean, he seems pretty unstable, politically. He was a Demoncrat up until 2001, then he became a Republican for a few years, then he was some sort of "Independent" (which I take to mean that nobody would touch him with a poo-stick) and now that senility has kicked in he's back with the Dementeds. Plus, he lives in sin - i.e. without the benefit of marriage.

He sounds perfectly horrid to me and I really hope he gets the nomination as no True American™ would dream of voting for him.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Be Prepared: Bloomberg Might Accept Jesus

We need some ideas here.

There are two camps: Homersexuals, abortionists, Bible haters, feminists, Never-Trumpers, and of course people who hate President Trump, freedom, and apple pie. These are the tares, growing among the wheat in the church Jesus speaks of in the Bible. It seems they are coming out of the woodwork to stand shameless in their mire. They would vote for the religion-shifting Jew if it meant less guilt for more sin. But I fear not for My Redeemer Lives and He is coming for us SOON!

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Be Prepared: Bloomberg Might Accept Jesus

But I fear not for My Redeemer Lives and He is coming for us SOON!

But sometimes, in the darkest hour before the dawn, I find myself suddenly awakened - who knows why? - and crying out Psalm 13:

How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? Consider and hear me, O Lord my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved. But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Be Prepared: Bloomberg Might Accept Jesus

Jews are not always so bad. After all, Trump would not have hired Jared Kushner, Steve Mnuchin, or Rod Rosenstein if they weren't trustworthy. Then there's his friendship with Republican donor Sheldon Adelson, not to mention the man who would've been attorney general if he hadn't died so long ago, Roy Cohn. MAGA nagila MAGA nagila MAGA...

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Be Prepared: Bloomberg Might Accept Jesus

We need some ideas here.

There are.….tares growing among the wheat in the church Jesus speaks of in the Bible.

I Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Be Prepared: Bloomberg Might Accept Jesus

Ann Coulter has always been in favor of "perfecting" the jews, but Bloomberg can change his name to Christianiclaus for all I care. As soon as the nanny state styrofoam cup and big gulp banning Bloomberg announces his position on baby killing and sodomy it's going to be all over.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Be Prepared: Bloomberg Might Accept Jesus

but Bloomberg can change his name to Christianiclaus for all I care.

We should not risk the President's re election by underestimating the deviousness of Jews. I could see Bloomberg announcing his love of Jesus and also that he has dropped the "Bloom" from Bloomberg and will be known by the Scandinavian name "Berg". It would be, "Hi, I'm Mike Berg."

Democrats hate actual rules, everything is relative. If you ask a Democrat, "Are you a man or a woman?" the answer would be, "I'll get back to you on that. I haven't decided."