[Cranky Old Man]

Some forum visitors invited me to Scotland, they even paid for the trip, so I could see with my own eyes what it is like there. I got several addresses of people who wanted to meet me in person and explain some things to me. I am not entirely certain about what by the way, but I am certain it will be interesting.

I will be there for about 2 weeks. I will take my jPad with me but I have no idea if it will work there.

[Nobar King]

Please be careful, brother Cranky, there are some wild hoodlums in Scotland. Be sure to have your Bible with you for protection at all times.

[Lisa H]

Watchout for that drunken Scotsman that was lurking around here

[Dirk]

Good luck brother, I hope they won't rob you. They hate old peole in Scotland.

[Sister Charli]

Originally Posted by Lisa H

Watchout for that drunken Scotsman that was lurking around here

I was thinking that myself, Lisa.

Be very careful Mr Cranky of any blokes wearing tartan skirts.

[HTannor]

Do not eat anything pulled from Loch Ness. It's a known fact that a certain "monster" has been pooping in there for nearly a century and you don't want to go near anything from there.

And on the subject of Loch Ness, avoid any scottish women that have a "fishy" smell because they've probably been bathing there.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Brother COM,
From everything I have heard the Scots are a very economical people so they must want your company very much. If you plan on taking a gun just remember they play a strange musical instrument called the bagpipes, if you hear a wild animal scream out as if in pain do not shoot because it might be one of those bagpipers playing a song.
Enjoy your visit and remember if the locals don't understand what you are saying, say it again louder and slower as this always seems to help.

[Brother Snapper Grogan]

You know that they eat sheeps' stomachs and wear skirts there, COM?

I hope you don't come back a skirt-wearing homer!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Apparently, THIS is what the Scots believe about their bible

Translates intil Scots

As yet, nae translate o the hail Bible in Scots haes been setten furth. The New Testament haes been pitten ower three tymes. The first wis bi Murdoch Nisbet, wha pit it ower frae John Purvey's Inglis reveesion o Wyclif. This wis duin aboot 1520, but wisna patent until the airly 20t century. Nisbet's translate is the maist muckle o aw the New Testament translators syne haed pitten ower some pairts o the Auld Testament an aw.

William Wye Smith's last reveesion o his wark wis in 1924. It is a guid translate, but again wis frae the Ingles raither nor the Greek.
The maist kenspeckle translate o The New Testament, housome'er, wis bi William Laughton Lorimer. His wark wis pitten ower straucht frae the Greek an is for ordinar hailed as ane o the maist important warks o Scots prose in mony centuries.

Forby thon, there haes been twa translates o Ruth, The Saums an Matthew; ane o Genesis, Proverbs an Isaiah an nae less nor five o The Sang o Solomon an ae Selection frae the Gospels Thon's o varyin quality wi maist bein taen frae ithir translates intil Inglis an no frae the oreeginal leids.

I must say I don't see the date 1611 anywhere but I'm sure you'll be able to make the necessary adaptation to make it accurate and put them Scotch on the right path.

[Cranky Old Man]

I returned from my trip to Scotland. Scotland is absolutely horrible as my friend Brother Percy already explained here: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=13274. God clearly wanted to punish me for something.

They don't even have proper internet connections there so my jPad was not very useful to me.

But I am home now, so it's time to forget all about Scotland and move on.