Women! Keep your children on a leash!

[Uncle Rutherford]

A certain woman in Freehold, whom I shall respectfully not use their full name in this post as she is lucky she is a white True Christian ™️ woman whom I KNOW SHOULD KNOW BETTER, has allowed her children to run around town on their own the other day. While I was doing my weekly cleanings of Pastor Ezekiel’s pipes, I saw children sticking their head through laughin and pointin at me. Clearly, these children have forgotten Ephesians 6:1-4 or THIS CERTAIN WHITE WOMAN FORGOT TO TEACH HER CHILD GOOD VALUES. What kind of town is Freehold if parents let their children go out in public without a leash or parental supervision? Do you really want your child to end up as a HOMER?!?!

My rant is done, but you know who you are. Straighten up.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Women! Keep your children on a leash!

I would like to point out that not all reins are created equal. Not all glorify The Lord. Some are designed to make devils and demons familiar to your toddler.

"Fun."

Satan is never "fun."

Even child-like depictions of his minions, done as reins for instance, are to be avoided as much as conducting a black mass and spraying goats blood all over the place. Because that is how he mocks God. When Christ's blood ran out onto the ground on that day, the need for any other blood was assuaged: God was satisfied. Dressing toddlers up as demons or giving them bright zingy devil accoutrements is tantamount to making The Phone Call.

"Hello?"
"Yes."
"Satan?"
"Yes."
"I have a toddler here. How would you like me to cook it?"
"Don't move - I'll eat it live."

Hebrews 10:29 Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace?

I trust this is helpful.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Women! Keep your children on a leash!

To be fair Brother Uncle Rutherford, my black friend, could it simply be that the children have never seen a real live Negro before?

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: Women! Keep your children on a leash!

To be fair Brother Uncle Rutherford, my black friend, could it simply be that the children have never seen a real live Negro before?

I do proudly wear my ex-negro badge in public so that people know. If they were to confuse me for a typical Negro, they would need to be taught so. Regardless, a loose child is a loose cannon who, without supervision, is at risk of being hellbound. Plus they stink!

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Women! Keep your children on a leash!

I do proudly wear my ex-negro badge in public so that people know.

Ah! The problem may be that the children concerned have not yet been taught to recognize the badge. Let's face it, it's not something one sees very often. I would suggest that you mention the matter to a senior pastor's wife, naming and shaming the children concerned. A few stern words to their mother from, say, Mrs Isaac Peters would put an end to this sort of thing.

[Basilissa]

Re: Women! Keep your children on a leash!

Well, also, there is the possibility of praying to God to send a couple of she-bears.

2 Kings 2:23-24
23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

If your offense is that deep, that is certainly an option to consider. After all, you are a True Christian™, and therefore God grants all your prayers. So if you pray for a she-bear, you'll get a she-bear:

Mark 11:24 Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Women! Keep your children on a leash!

Well, also, there is the possibility of praying to God to send a couple of she-bears.

One doesn't really like to trouble God, though, until all human efforts have been exhausted.

At least, Sister Bas, we can both be confident that it is not our children who are persecuting Brother Unc. Mine were all present at evening roll-call and I confirm that they are about 4,000 miles from Freehold, while yours remain, sadly, hypothetical. Have you considered an annulment?