Vaccinate your Child!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

There are few people realize that for the past 400 years, Landover has run a vaccination program from which not only the children of the Godly have benefited by extended, happier, and healthier lives! Others outside the fold have benefited also, and America has become a far better place. We need to ensure there is no backsliding!

I hear too many people today speaking against vaccination; they are all damnable false prophets! They are worrying, entirely unnecessarily about mysterious “adverse side effects” ranging from “listlessness” all the way up to “abnormality and brain damage” when these so-called “side effects” have all been dismissed by people who know far more about the matter than they ever will!

This hysteria and stupidity is just so much garbage! Even Pastor Zeke himself has decried this “Fake News” and yet here we are reading reports of moronic mothers, pussy-whipped fathers, and people who really should know better railing against vaccination.

They release their filthy spawn into a pure pool, and these vile abominations do their best to pollute the body and mind of Christian children, all of whom have been vaccinated (at no small cost!)

IS THIS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT FOR YOUR (AND JESUS’S) DEAR CHILDREN?

The following Ordinance has been passed:
As of July 8, The Year of Our Lord 2019, no unvaccinated person shall set foot within the gated community and precincts of Landover or part or parts thereof, neither shall he cause, permit, or otherwise assist, directly or indirectly, knowingly or unknowingly, an unvaccinated person so to do.

Get vaccinated! Get your children vaccinated! DO IT NOW!

[Scoutman03]

Re: Vaccinate your Child!

There are few people realize that for the past 400 years, Landover has run a vaccination program from which not only the children of the Godly have benefited by extended, happier, and healthier lives! Others outside the fold have benefited also, and America has become a far better place. We need to ensure there is no backsliding!

I hear too many people today speaking against vaccination; they are all damnable false prophets! They are worrying, entirely unnecessarily about mysterious “adverse side effects” ranging from “listlessness” all the way up to “abnormality and brain damage” when these so-called “side effects” have all been dismissed by people who know far more about the matter than they ever will!

This hysteria and stupidity is just so much garbage! Even Pastor Zeke himself has decried this “Fake News” and yet here we are reading reports of moronic mothers, pussy-whipped fathers, and people who really should know better railing against vaccination.

They release their filthy spawn into a pure pool, and these vile abominations do their best to pollute the body and mind of Christian children, all of whom have been vaccinated (at no small cost!)

IS THIS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT FOR YOUR (AND JESUS’S) DEAR CHILDREN?

The following Ordinance has been passed:
As of July 8, The Year of Our Lord 2019, no unvaccinated person shall set foot within the gated community and precincts of Landover or part or parts thereof, neither shall he cause, permit, or otherwise assist, directly or indirectly, knowingly or unknowingly, an unvaccinated person so to do.

Get vaccinated! Get your children vaccinated! DO IT NOW!

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Now this I can saw Amen to!

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Vaccinate your Child!

Now this I can saw Amen to!

Shout glory! I'm pleased to hear this, Scoutman. Accepting that we're right about one thing is the first step to accepting that we're right about everything.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Vaccinate your Child!

My ex-neighbor, Claudine Mervenstein, was a very mouthy Joo with four kids and a staunch anti-vaxxer. "I would rather my kids come down with measles than automism," she would cry to anyone who would listen. Few would listen. Mainly because her next words would be about the cheap woman at temple who wore the same dress every Saturday or how her mother called to complain about her dropsy again that day.


Imagine the satisfaction we felt as a building when her kids all came down with diseases. Two with measles, two with mumps - and the building superintendent kicked them out on their unvaccinated behinds. We were all afraid for a while that someone had contracted it but WE WERE ALL VACCINATED.


A question though. How does one get vaccinated from the Pope? As an ex-papist I probably have auto-immunitization but I'm curious.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Vaccinate your Child!

A question though. How does one get vaccinated from the Pope? As an ex-papist I probably have auto-immunitization but I'm curious.

An interesting question, Brother Larry, and one which I cannot answer. However, there are very few cases of papism in England and Wales and I wonder if some sort of what they call "herd immunity" has built up over the past 500 years since the days of Henry VIII? Scotland and Ireland still suffer regular outbreaks, of course, but they did not become Properly English until about 1700 and 1800 respectively. (And Ireland was thrown out of the Empire only 120 years later.)

Based on the foundation date of our own dear Church, 1620, around 400 years seems to be the perfect time for the creation of "herd immunity" against all diseases and papistry.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Vaccinate your Child!

A question though. How does one get vaccinated from the Pope? As an ex-papist I probably have auto-immunitization but I'm curious.

There seems to be some unaccountable confusion here!

Diseases have nothing to do with vaccination! Nobody wants a dirty needles filled with toxins, chemicals and germs stuck into their arm! Vaccination is what you get to protect yourself against evil spirits, false prophets and other liars who damn your soul with their honeyed words!

You seem to have missed the advert for the method! Children need to be taken early and inculcated into the ways of righteousness, and this starts in Sunday Schooling.

Defended by a growing belief in Jesus's love, you are vaccinated against the powers of atheism, popery and the myriad of other, small so-called "religious social clubs" that infest the country and lead people astray.


The antidote to all ignorance and superstition is knowledge! It is the armor of God, which will protect a child for life and grant entrance to the Hereafter!

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Vaccinate your Child!

My face is as scarlet as once were my sins. I apologize to you Brother and I just came from a session in my prayer closet repenting for my ignorance - which is unbecoming a True Christian (tm).

[Dana723]

Re: Vaccinate your Child!

You could call it VBS as in Vaccination Bible School instead of that Vacation Bible School as some churches do.

[Scoutman03]

Re: Vaccinate your Child!

But you guys were all saying "Vaccines aren't mentioned in the bible! They cause autism!"

What made you guys change your minds? Also, to get vaccinations go to a doctors office.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Vaccinate your Child!

...What made you guys change your minds? ...

They aren't getting shots. They're praying. Because they don't know what words mean. And by all available evidence, neither do you.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Vaccinate your Child!

But you guys were all saying "Vaccines aren't mentioned in the bible! They cause autism!"

What made you guys change your minds? Also, to get vaccinations go to a doctors office.

Oh Good Lord, your mother dropped you on your head as a baby didn't she?

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Vaccinate your Child!

Oh Good Lord, your mother dropped you on your head as a baby didn't she?

Just out of curiosity Sister Mary, did your daughter get her baby vaccinated?

[JakubDovac]

Re: Vaccinate your Child!

Oh, that is your view. I am shocked. Vaccines are the best way to damage our kid and lead it playing demonic games and listening to occult music. I am the living proof, and so are my still pro-establishment parents who have decided to keep living in their Marxist pig pen.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Vaccinate your Child!

I just want to clarify that we at Labndover Baptist Church do not condone vaccinating girls against human papillomavirus, because that is tantamount to issuing a license to sin to a teenager. If God in His infinite wisdom choses to punish those little sluts with cervical cancer, who are we to disagree?

But yeah, we really don't want some measelly kid running around the sanctuary spreading germs. That's why we keep the children of our negro servants penned up when they're not out working the fields. So please vaccinate!