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Default Me and the boys made fresh dung cake! - 01-28-2019, 10:32 AM

Well it was Sunday night Bible-based dinner time, so me and the boys snuck into the kitchen to whip something up (when there was no women watching of course, also kindly ignore the detail that we haven't taken our X-mas decor down yet.), and I had the idea to try something out of the Book of Ezekiel; the divine "Ezekiel bread".

Ezekiel 4:12 And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight.

Now, absolute care had to been taken in ensuring authenticity, otherwise, what's the point? I made them follow me out to the kybo to watch their ol' pa take a squat over the bowl to add the main ingredient!

Then, as it goes with recipes usually, we had to back-track.

Ezekiel 4:9 Take thou also unto thee wheat, and barley, and beans, and lentiles, and millet, and fitches, and put them in one vessel, and make thee bread thereof, according to the number of the days that thou shalt lie upon thy side, three hundred and ninety days shalt thou eat

All the boring gassy stuff! In it went! We cooked it over a homemade bonfire out back, compiled of collected petrified raccoon droppings, at a cooking temperature of 300 F. And yes, we did make enough servings to last 390 days; practically used up all the tupperware in the pantry. Anything extra left-over will be reused as toast spread.

Hey, it's what the Bible says!




Here's the gang below; Bobby, Me, Brett and sweet Dick-Cole. (Who wants to lick the bowl?)

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Question Re: Me and the boys made fresh dung cake! - 01-28-2019, 02:10 PM

You've gone to great lengths to please God by making His more creative recipes. However, I feel that you're setting a poor example for your boys, cooking in the kitchen like some fag. Why didn't you just have your wife bake this?


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: Me and the boys made fresh dung cake! - 01-28-2019, 05:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
Well it was Sunday night Bible-based dinner time, so me and the boys snuck into the kitchen to whip something up (when there was no women watching of course, also kindly ignore the detail that we haven't taken our X-mas decor down yet.), and I had the idea to try something out of the Book of Ezekiel; the divine "Ezekiel bread".

Ezekiel 4:12 And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight.

Now, absolute care had to been taken in ensuring authenticity, otherwise, what's the point? I made them follow me out to the kybo to watch their ol' pa take a squat over the bowl to add the main ingredient!

Then, as it goes with recipes usually, we had to back-track.

Ezekiel 4:9 Take thou also unto thee wheat, and barley, and beans, and lentiles, and millet, and fitches, and put them in one vessel, and make thee bread thereof, according to the number of the days that thou shalt lie upon thy side, three hundred and ninety days shalt thou eat

All the boring gassy stuff! In it went! We cooked it over a homemade bonfire out back, compiled of collected petrified raccoon droppings, at a cooking temperature of 300 F. And yes, we did make enough servings to last 390 days; practically used up all the tupperware in the pantry. Anything extra left-over will be reused as toast spread.
You missed the point, dear - you were supposed to bake it in human dung fueled fire, not petrified raccoon droppings one.
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Default Re: Me and the boys made fresh dung cake! - 01-28-2019, 05:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
You've gone to great lengths to please God by making His more creative recipes. However, I feel that you're setting a poor example for your boys, cooking in the kitchen like some fag. Why didn't you just have your wife bake this?

I'm a widower, good man, and my best attempts to court MitzaLizalor were in vain. I haven't found an appropriate Forum Member-status lady yet who'd be worth the pains.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
You missed the point, dear - you were supposed to bake it in human dung fueled fire, not petrified raccoon droppings one.
I did notice that detail actually, and I'm unsure why I didn't exercise it when I was so minuet over everything else. It was sort of a spur of the moment idea and to collect my sons' doodies over a span of time in preparation didn't happen. I know the Lord is generally inflexible with these deviations from His Word, though I was hinted that technically I could have gotten away with any old convection oven.

And then there's this;

Ezekiel 4:14 -15 14 Then said I, Ah Lord God! behold, my soul hath not been polluted: for from my youth up even till now have I not eaten of that which dieth of itself, or is torn in pieces; neither came there abominable flesh into my mouth. 15 Then he said unto me, Lo, I have given thee …


It would seem even Ezekiel did not ultimately dine on God's proposed turd cuisine.
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Default Re: Me and the boys made fresh dung cake! - 01-28-2019, 05:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
You missed the point, dear - you were supposed to bake it in human dung fueled fire, not petrified raccoon droppings one.
Yes, the human dung is an ingredient for the fire and not for the bread, Mr Lombardo. Have you eaten any yet? I'd strongly recommend that you don't.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: Me and the boys made fresh dung cake! - 01-28-2019, 05:41 PM

Yes, we've already made our way through the bunt dung cake. I've been feeling iffy all morning.
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Default Re: Me and the boys made fresh dung cake! - 01-28-2019, 05:45 PM

Brother Jim,


I think Jesus is trying to tell you something! Pray about it, of course, but I believe He's leading you to write a song about making dung bread (or cake) with the boys!. Follow His unction!


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Me and the boys made fresh dung cake! - 01-28-2019, 06:22 PM

Excellent idea, Brother Larry! I love Mr. Lombardo's tunes.
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Default Re: Me and the boys made fresh dung cake! - 01-28-2019, 06:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Yes, the human dung is an ingredient for the fire and not for the bread, Mr Lombardo. Have you eaten any yet? I'd strongly recommend that you don't.
You are absolutely correct. But, as they say, everything that happens is God's Will. (That's what Christians say, atheists would mumble something about survival of the fittest, natural selection, and elimination of the dumbest).
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Default Re: Me and the boys made fresh dung cake! - 01-28-2019, 09:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Brother Jim,


I think Jesus is trying to tell you something! Pray about it, of course, but I believe He's leading you to write a song about making dung bread (or cake) with the boys!. Follow His unction!
I'm whipping up one for the Poo-taster as we speak, Brother!
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Default Re: Me and the boys made fresh dung cake! - 05-28-2019, 01:49 AM

You may want to think about taking down the family photo you posted showing your son with his shirt off. The homo's and pedo's will surely be drooling over the boy.
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Default Re: Me and the boys made fresh dung cake! - 05-28-2019, 01:55 AM

Why on earth would pedos be lurking on God's Favorite Website, protected by Jesus Christ? They won't be finding underaged members here, and as mature Christians are not to their taste, it's unlikely we'd be attracting them.
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Default Re: Me and the boys made fresh dung cake! - 05-28-2019, 02:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
Why on earth would pedos be lurking on God's Favorite Website, protected by Jesus Christ?
The forum is public dear, and the sad fact is public school employees "scout" for new recruits. It's all a part of their Gay Agenda.

O come Lord Jesus!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Me and the boys made fresh dung cake! - 05-28-2019, 04:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by christiandad View Post
You may want to think about taking down the family photo you posted showing your son with his shirt off. The homo's and pedo's will surely be drooling over the boy.
The only one who noticed was you...




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My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence;
I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
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