X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
  • #1

    Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

    It's official. Jesus hates the Rain Forest!



    Originally posted by BBC
    The official figures show more than 75,000 forest fires were recorded in Brazil in the first eight months of the year - the highest number since 2013. That compares with 40,000 in the same period in 2018.



    Let us not forget, Jesus prefers the desert. When profitable, it's good to protect the forests, but if Jesus loved them most, He would have been born in Brazil, or the Congo, or Oregon. But He wasn't, and I think it might be because of the mosquitoes, but anyway, He decided to impregnate His mother and be born in Israel. In the desert.

    People will come to you for support to help put out the fire in the Amazon, but True Christians™ know our priority is saving Souls for the LORD's Second Coming (Matthew 24:14). It is not to preserve the earthly paradise for atheists, hippies, and vegetarians (John 15:19; 17:16; Philippians 3:20; Colossians 3:2). Those who are most committed to preserving the environment are atheists and advocates of abortion.


    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

    Tags: brazil, burn the amazon, burning, fire, fire will cleanse the sin, jungle, mexicans: the final solution, second coming
  • #2
    Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

    Oh, I can't say that I am terribly surprised, dear Sister Mary. We've seen how those Cathyolicks have ignored the commandment of the for centuries, with their statues everywhere -- even though they should know better than to do so:

    Exodus 20:4 "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth."

    Obviously, they didn't learn a thing from when sent the fires to their cathedral in Paris, so now He is trying another way of getting their attention!



    A blessed day to you, dear Sister Mary,
    Sincerely, Isabella W.
    (Mrs.) Isabella White

    Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

      J'g:9:14: Then said all the trees unto the bramble, Come thou, and reign over us.
      J'g:9:15: And the bramble said unto the trees, If in truth ye anoint me king over you, then come and put your trust in my shadow: and if not, let fire come out of the bramble, and devour the cedars of Lebanon.


      Someone in the Amazon has annoyed a bramble...
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

        This is Jesus's revenge on all of those "Save the Rainforest" hippies. He's sticking a flaming middle finger in their greasy faces to show them that He is not mocked!
        I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
        Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
        But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
        From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

          Urgent! Are there any signs of simultaneous hail or blood, even menstrual?! This could be IT! Jesus might already be boarding the Celestial Jet to return!

          Revelation 8:7
          The first angel sounded, and there followed hail and fire mingled with blood, and they were cast upon the earth: and the third part of trees was burnt up, and all green grass was burnt up.

          I suppose the Analzone takes care of the tree conundrum as it should be at least a third of the world's arboreal abominations. Looking forward to the combusting grasslands.






          Yours in Christ,

          Elmer
          2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



          PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
          Check out our Research in Creation Science:

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

            It would be a kind thing to warn all sinners including homers, liberals and the rest that their time is almost up. We're all quite busy this week so they will have to find it out for themselves.
            Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

              Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
              It would be a kind thing to warn all sinners including homers, liberals and the rest that their time is almost up.
              We've been doing that for ages. Why would they suddenly listen now? I say let them burn in the fires of this world and the next.
              I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
              Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
              But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
              From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

                "Climate Change" in the Bible (KJV1611)? There is both Biblical and other evidence to suggest that Israel was much wetter and more hospitable for farming in the past than today. No doubt Jesus is turning it into a desert to punish the Jews for not accepting Him as the Son of God. As far as collateral damage is concerned, the mooselimbs deserve it as well.

                As far as the fires in the Amazon, we all know the "new" pope is trying to adopt the Amazon savages pagan religion into the cathylick church - reason enough for Jesus to burn the place to the ground.

                And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar.

                - Genesis 13:10


                And the Lord said, I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry by reason of their taskmasters; for I know their sorrows;

                And I am come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and to bring them up out of that land unto a good land and a large, unto a land flowing with milk and honey; unto the place of the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Amorites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites.

                - Exodus 3:7,8
                Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                ...and get off my lawn
                sigpic

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

                  This is Amazon-ing! (Pun intended!)

                  This is Jesus's way of clear cutting away primitive wilderness to make room more shopping malls when the flames settle. Those South Americans are already under-privileged, so this is truly a blessing.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

                    Originally posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
                    We've been doing that for ages. Why would they suddenly listen now? I say let them burn in the fires of this world and the next.
                    Amen, dear Brother Lukes, Amen! Those sinful reprobates will not listen now -- or ever. The entire world could be on fire, and they will still refuse to see the Truth that's been presented to them so many times.

                    Ephesians 4:18 "Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart".

                    A blessed day to you, dear Brother Lukes,
                    Sincerely, Isabella W.
                    (Mrs.) Isabella White

                    Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

                      God, I'm glad that this site is blessed by you

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

                        If there were that many actual forest fires going on, the 'rain forest' would of been gone long ago. More likely it is just bacon cooking camp fires from ministry out reach bringing Jesus and Christianity to the heathen backwoods natives. Imagine what it will be like when these creatures and access Pastor Flint's PodCasts(r)!


                        Onward Christian Soldiers, Marching as to War!
                        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

                          I heard on the news that a Professor of Arson from the university (I didn't know there were professors of arson!) declared the sudden increase of fires by 300% was absolutely NOT caused by lightning strikes.

                          And it would be unnecessary wouldn't it, if the fire hailstones have started.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

                            You just know that Jesus HAS to be on His way soon!

                            What with the whole planet--edge to edge of it--burning and sinking and stinking, it is near to unlivable. So Jesus has to come back to save His beloved remnant of True Christians(tm).


                            The more catastrophies the better it is for Christians. This big fire is like Jesus' "Save the Date" mailer for His upcoming wedding to his dear Bride--us!
                            His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

                            Guns For God and the Economy

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Jesus has set the Amazon on Fire! GLORY!

                              Originally posted by handmaiden View Post
                              You just know that Jesus HAS to be on His way soon!

                              What with the whole planet--edge to edge of it--burning and sinking and stinking, it is near to unlivable. So Jesus has to come back to save His beloved remnant of True Christians™.

                              The more catastrophies the better it is for Christians. This big fire is like Jesus' "Save the Date" mailer for His upcoming wedding to his dear Bride--us!
                              Amen, dear Sister Handmaiden, Amen!! And I do thank you for pointing this out. Goodness, it does make the heart feel good, knowing that this fire is a sure sign of the soon-to-be return of our blessed , the . How I praise for glorious promises!

                              Luke 12:49 "I am come to send fire on the earth; and what will I, if it be already kindled?"

                              Revelation 22:12 "And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be."



                              A blessed day to you, dear Sister Handmaiden,
                              Sincerely, Isabella W.
                              (Mrs.) Isabella White

                              Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 template Next
                              Working...
                              X