I was here before I lost my mind

[curtisedwardgrice (Quarantined)]

My names Curtis Edward Grice and I'm here to join your church I thought about it and I'm ready to be a member

[Elmer G. White]

Re: I was here before I lost my username and password

My names Curtis Edward Grice and I'm here to join your church I thought about it and I'm ready to be a member

Hello to you. Mr. Grice,

How nice of you to realize that there is one Real, True™ Church left on Earth (it is us, obviously).

You are still a stranger to us and we'd like to know you better. How did you find Jesus! What parts of the Good Book speak to you most fervently? How's begetting?

You'll find us very welcoming and charitable!

Hebrews 13:2
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[curtisedwardgrice (Quarantined)]

Re: I was here before I lost my username and password

I love the Bible, the story of Job is my favorite.
I was raised in church.
Begetting? (Meaning?)

[Elmer G. White]

Re: I was here before I lost my username and password

I love the Bible, the story of Job is my favorite.
I was raised in church.
Begetting? (Meaning?)

Dear Friend,

The story of Job is indeed magnificent. Do you especially enjoy the parts that depict dinosaurs and thus prove young-day Creationism?

Begetting is the synonym for siring new soldiers for Christ!

Genesis 5:3
And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, after his image; and called his name Seth:


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[curtisedwardgrice (Quarantined)]

Re: I was here before I lost my username and password

It is interesting, I always thought that man walked with dinosaurs, and confused them with dragons in the 16th century

[curtisedwardgrice (Quarantined)]

Re: I was here before I lost my username and password

Everyone needs to wake up and follow the Lord before the Lord forgets they exist

[Alan Swallows Waiting for Email Confirmation]

Re: I was here before I lost my username and password

Hi, Curtis. You seem rather taciturn. Tell us how you found Jesus. I love hearing how people found Jesus.

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: I was here before I lost my username and password

Greetings Curtis! I make you welcome even though I am not a member of this church. I am Rastafari and not a Baptist. But I am a Christian. It is good to see a man come to this site who is from one of the Black parts of Babylon even though you do not seem to be Black in your picture. I am a Black man from Jamaica and I am here in your country as a student on scholarship in Wisconsin. There are few Black men there so they recruit Black men to come to their university for diversity. They are scrooges at that school and they only pay me 400usd per week for expenses. Ganja is very expensive in Babylon and I still have to eat. I am unable to afford a car and I want a Range Rover. This is said to be the season of giving and you are a white man made rich by the labor of Black slaves. Perhaps you could ease your conscious by gifting me a Range Rover for Christmas. Remember that it is better to give than receive.

Jah Guide
Trevor

[curtisedwardgrice (Quarantined)]

Re: I was here before I lost my username and password

Hi, Curtis. You seem rather taciturn. Tell us how you found Jesus. I love hearing how people found Jesus.

I was raised in a Baptist Church since birth.

[Basilissa]

Re: I was here before I lost my username and password

I was raised in a Baptist Church since birth.

Hello, dear, and welcome (again?) to this lovely forum!

As we all know, children are too stupid to understand Jesus' temporary death sacrifice. Being raised in a Baptist church does not equal fully understanding Jesus' love for those who follow Him and His hate towards the rest of humanity. You also must be mature enough to understand the rules of life and love God, to earn His conditional love as well.

[curtisedwardgrice (Quarantined)]

Re: I was here before I lost my username and password

Hello, dear, and welcome (again?) to this lovely forum!

As we all know, children are too stupid to understand Jesus' temporary death sacrifice. Being raised in a Baptist church does not equal fully understanding Jesus' love for those who follow Him and His hate towards the rest of humanity. You also must be mature enough to understand the rules of life and love God, to earn His conditional love as well.

I understand, and I know I'm ready for what the Lord has planned for me.

[James Hutchins]

Re: I was here before I lost my username and password

My names Curtis Edward Grice and I'm here to join your church I thought about it and I'm ready to be a member

Welcome Curtis.
While we are thrilled you'd like to be a member of LBC, a bigger question is, does LBC want you as a member. You cannot just walk in the the gates past security at Landover and into the Church. Why we'd have every Tom, Dick and Harry coming in and the members who have proven their devotion to Jesus by making substantial contributions to further the work of Christ deserve the token of appreciation by being provided with reserved parking, scooter chairs, coffee served with scones pew side and fine linens. Could you imagine the outrage if something was soiled or a scone was missing?
Please contact Miss Cookie in the Church office. Request the forms needed to apply for membership. Include a check payable to Cash for the $5,000.00 consideration processing fee. Do not forget the last ten years of 1040's and at least three recommendations from a Gold Tither™ or above. The Church board will look forward to reviewing your application when time permits.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I was here before I lost my username and password

My names Curtis Edward Grice and I'm here to join your church I thought about it and I'm ready to be a member

Excellent! Although I do not know how to welcome you by name, as you seem to have three? Not to worry, it has happened.

John 1:42 "And he brought him to Jesus. And when Jesus beheld him, he said, Thou art Simon the son of Jona: thou shalt be called Cephas, which is by interpretation, A stone."

I see that you are a man of few words, which is no penalty in the eyes of God, be assured.

Psalm 39:2 "I was dumb with silence, I held my peace, even from good; and my sorrow was stirred."

To join God's church, you will need to align your worldview with what God tells us. Starting alphabetically, with the curse of autism/gayness, do you agree that the homosexual threat posed by autistics is a very real cause for concern in these troubled times? And that real Christians have every reason to be alarmed by the degenerates?

In Christ

[curtisedwardgrice (Quarantined)]

Re: I was here before I lost my username and password

I lost my username and password you can call me Curtis

[curtisedwardgrice (Quarantined)]

Re: I was here before I lost my username and password

Excellent! Although I do not know how to welcome you by name, as you seem to have three? Not to worry, it has happened.

John 1:42 "And he brought him to Jesus. And when Jesus beheld him, he said, Thou art Simon the son of Jona: thou shalt be called Cephas, which is by interpretation, A stone."

I see that you are a man of few words, which is no penalty in the eyes of God, be assured.

Psalm 39:2 "I was dumb with silence, I held my peace, even from good; and my sorrow was stirred."

To join God's church, you will need to align your worldview with what God tells us. Starting alphabetically, with the curse of autism/gayness, do you agree that the homosexual threat posed by autistics is a very real cause for concern in these troubled times? And that real Christians have every reason to be alarmed by the degenerates?

In Christ

I do agree with that.