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  • Larry Lee
    Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
    True Christian™ Theologian
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 4464

    #1

    Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced $$$

    Landover Baptist Church is proud to announce its new partnership with Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer of South Carolina.

    True Christians™ know the lovable Andy Bauer from his recent observation that:
    My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that. And so what you've got to do is you've got to curtail that type of behavior. They don't know any better.

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35067031...more_politics/
    God Bless him! If ever there was a steady voice of reason in these dark times, it's Andy's.

    Which is why LBC and Andy Bauer will be offering reduced-price sterilization to the first 1500 3000 who come to the Food Pantry this Tuesday through the fourth Wednesday of next month. For only a hundred bucks (a week's supply of Product 90!), our crack team of newly trained clinicians will sterilize any and all, from the high yellow to the darkest of the dark, including Mexicans!

    Join Landover and Andre Bauer in celebrating this life-giving gift of personal responsibility to the "stray animal" poor of American society.
    sigpic

    I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
  • James Hutchins
    True Christian™
    Just a Regular Nice Guy
     
    • Jun 2009
    • 29453

    #2
    Re: Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced

    Brother Lee, that is a terrific cause!

    I happen to own a very old piece of equipment you may want to use. It is a finely crafted German electronic device. It consists of a long counter, lead shielding on your side, and high output x-ray tubes on the other side. You have the 'participants' stand at the counter, filling out long forms, perhaps to get a free trinket. They leave sterilized and none the wiser. You know it is a quality device as it was made by a doctor, Dr. Mengele.
    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

    Comment

    • Rev. Jim Osborne
      True Christian™ Televangelist
      Director of Fundraising and Tithing
      On the Look Out for Wife #6!
      True Christian™
      • Jun 2009
      • 8622

      #3
      Re: Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced

      I have no qualms against sterilizing the poorest of the poor. If they keep having babies that they know they cannot provide for, that is their fault and they are placing an undue burden upon society. Not to mention, it's extremely cost-effective. A couple good high-dosage X-rays aimed directly at the testes or ovaries costs far less than supporting multiple generation welfare recipients.

      Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

      Comment

      • Mrs. Rogers
        compassion personified
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 2692

        #4
        Re: Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced

        Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
        I have no qualms against sterilizing the poorest of the poor. If they keep having babies that they know they cannot provide for, that is their fault and they are placing an undue burden upon society.
        Amen! And let's face a politically unfashionable truth here -- the poor are randy and licentious; the proof being that there are far more poor people in the world than rich ones. They live their lives as if every day is a blue movie ... albeit a very low-budget blue movie with lots of blow flies buzzing around the set. Disgusting!

        The sooner they are sterilized, the sooner they'll die out -- and Jesus will no longer have to watch them slutting around their slums.
        True Christians are Perfect!

        Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

        Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

        For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

        Comment

        • Wide-Open
          Director of European Evangelical Outreach
          A Shining Example of Christ's Love
          Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
          True Christian™
          • Nov 2007
          • 18449

          #5
          Re: Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced

          With all this talk about "evolution", you'd think that all those poor people would have evolved into rich people by now, no? Just more proof that it's all balderdash.

          I have no problems with this action at all. I see it as very thourough circumsicion.

          Exodus 4:25
          Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and said, Surely a bloody husband art thou to me.
          Psalm 81:10:
          I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
          open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

          Comment

          • Ezekiel Bathfire
            Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
            Christ's Rottweiler
             
            • Jan 2008
            • 22904

            #6
            Re: Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced

            I think it is important to realise that although Our Savior did say, M't:26:11a: For ye have the poor always with you; I don't think He thought there would be so many of them.
            sigpic


            “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

            Author of such illuminating essays as,
            Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

            Comment

            • James Hutchins
              True Christian™
              Just a Regular Nice Guy
               
              • Jun 2009
              • 29453

              #7
              Re: Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced

              I think the x-ray tube method is more in line with God's wishes as it does not involve any cutting, just a mild heating up.
              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

              Comment

              • Pastor Isaac Peters
                Senior Pastor
                Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                Always Biblically correct
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 10639

                #8
                Re: Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced

                My sources tell me that the Landover Baptist Institute of Creation Medicine is working on a way to faith-heal the poor of their rather unfortunate fecundity. We know that God sometimes causes sterility:

                Gen. 20:18: For the LORD had fast closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah Abraham's wife.

                Creation researchers are working on applying this knowledge. Creation medicine has the further advantage that only one-half of the poor will need to be sterilized, since the Bible teaches us that only women are barren.

                The next time you see Brother Jimmy-Roy, thank him for allowing his charming wife Debbie to volunteer in this important effort. It took some extreme persuasion to get him to sign the papers, but he eventually saw the light of Our Sweet Lord.
                This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

                sigpic

                Comment

                • Nobar King
                  Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                  Christ's Guardian
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2007
                  • 23748

                  #9
                  Re: Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced

                  Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
                  My sources tell me that the Landover Baptist Institute of Creation Medicine is working on a way to faith-heal the poor of their rather unfortunate fecundity. We know that God sometimes causes sterility:
                  Gen. 20:18: For the LORD had fast closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah Abraham's wife.
                  Creation researchers are working on applying this knowledge. Creation medicine has the further advantage that only one-half of the poor will need to be sterilized, since the Bible teaches us that only women are barren.
                  That's wishful thinking. If you don't sterilize the male units, too, then you still risk little mulatto children from when those bucks rape pure and innocent white women, whom we know are irresistable to black men.
                  May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                  Comment

                  • Mistress Cookie
                    Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                    True Christian™
                    • Jul 2008
                    • 6790

                    #10
                    Re: Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced

                    Originally posted by Larry Lee View Post
                    LBC and Andy Bauer will be offering reduced-price sterilization to the first 1500 3000 who come to the Food Pantry this Tuesday through the fourth Wednesday of next month.
                    Is it too early to discuss a painless "Trap and Release" program for Freehold, like some cities have for stray cats, racoons, etc?

                    Some poor people do not keep their records and date books as updated as they'd like, and this would insure no one goes untended.

                    Comment

                    • Gabriel Reproba
                      Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
                      The Most Honest Lawyer in America
                      True Christian™
                      • Nov 2009
                      • 2479

                      #11
                      Re: Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced

                      Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
                      Is it too early to discuss a painless "Trap and Release" program for Freehold, like some cities have for stray cats, racoons, etc?

                      Some poor people do not keep their records and date books as updated as they'd like, and this would insure no one goes untended.
                      I think this is an excellent idea. A few suggestions:

                      1) Rename this to our new "Spay and Neuter the Indigent Program" or SNIP for short. This has some legal and PR advantages.

                      2) See if we can get that Bob Barker guy to sponsor it!

                      3) Doesn't Officer Richards already do your catch and release program when he finds those migrant workers and negros sneaking into our gated communities and he needs to remove them for walking on the sidewalk in a threatening manner? If we can just combine the catch and release program with the SNIP program, we may have an efficient model that can be implemented around the world!

                      Yours In Christ,

                      Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

                      Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

                      Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
                      Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
                      The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
                      Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
                      How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
                      20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
                      God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
                      Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
                      Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
                      Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
                      There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
                      Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

                      Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

                      Comment

                      • Mistress Cookie
                        Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                        True Christian™
                        • Jul 2008
                        • 6790

                        #12
                        Re: Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced

                        GREAT

                        Hot on the heels of Lt. Governor Bauer's brave and patriotic comments, some "gay" "blogger" tries to "out" him as "gay" on the "internets".

                        Please join the prayer circle here.

                        Comment

                        • Gabriel Reproba
                          Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
                          The Most Honest Lawyer in America
                          True Christian™
                          • Nov 2009
                          • 2479

                          #13
                          Re: Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced

                          Good news! I have had our j00 lawyers talk to Bob Barker's people and they say he is interested! I think the SNIP initiative is well under way!
                          Yours In Christ,

                          Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

                          Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

                          Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
                          Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
                          The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
                          Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
                          How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
                          20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
                          God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
                          Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
                          Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
                          Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
                          There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
                          Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

                          Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

                          Comment

                          • H. Montague Worthington
                            True Christian™ Entrepreneur
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 2716

                            #14
                            Re: Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced

                            It's bad enough that we're throwing good money after bad on feeding the poor, but why aren't we doing the fiscally responsible thing by putting them to death? Any politician that proposes systematic extermination of the poor has my vote!

                            Comment

                            • Mistress Cookie
                              Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                              True Christian™
                              • Jul 2008
                              • 6790

                              #15
                              Re: Landover & Gov. Andre Bauer offer "love snipping" at reduced

                              Originally posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
                              Good news! I have had our j00 lawyers talk to Bob Barker's people and they say he is interested! I think the SNIP initiative is well under way!
                              This is a total coup!

                              We should make sure he is deemed competent, though, before he signs the alignment. If I'm not mistaken, he is quite old?

                              Comment

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