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  • #31
    Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

    Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
    I was low on toilet paper, so I didn't use the normal safety barrier of half a roll. A roll per session is my general rule, but I didn't have a full roll left.
    Well, it happened. My finger went through the paper and I touched myself down there, actually it was more than just a touch. I think my finger went in a little.
    Does this make me a homosexual?
    Hi Elliot

    .... No, just means that you accidently touched your own a$$ dude.

    But to help you, since I know christian worry about this sort of stuff....

    1) Do you think about men in any sexual way?

    If yes = your probably gay, sorry...
    If no = you are fine, you aren't gay...

    and please don't cut off your finger! was only an accident!
    Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
    abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

    Comment

    • #32
      Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

      Originally posted by ajroloff View Post
      Hi Elliot

      .... No, just means that you accidently touched your own a$$ dude.

      But to help you, since I know christian worry about this sort of stuff....

      1) Do you think about men in any sexual way?

      If yes = your probably gay, sorry...
      If no = you are fine, you aren't gay...

      and please don't cut off your finger! was only an accident!
      First off, mind your tongue when adressing any True Christian™, this is our house, not yours.

      Second, I'm glad that you make light of something my True Christian™Brother takes very seriously (and it is serious). It's no laughing matter, he could have gotten the AID!!!
      -Every young man's battle - PORN AND MASTURBATION![/SIZE]
      -DISOWN your ATHEIST children - just like this good mother did!!

      -FINALLY!! Some rights for the rapists!!
      -There is no such thing as animal abuse!!
      -Pregnancy through RAPE is a GIFT from God
      -Keep the Fags out of the Boy Scouts!!
      -WIVES!! Stay in your abusive relationship!

      STOP, DROP & ROLL DOESN'T WORK IN HELL!!!!

      Comment

      • #33
        Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

        yes.

        Comment

        • #34
          Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

          Originally posted by MoparManiac View Post
          yes.
          How do you know this for certain?
          Matthew:
          5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
          5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
          10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
          10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


          sigpic

          Comment

          • #35
            Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

            I am probably being over cautious here. But if Eliot has picked up the AIDS through his rectal mishap is it at all possible that it could be one of those virus that can spread over the interweb? Would it make sense to at least consider that eventuality? Can a firewall stop the AIDS?

            YiC

            Jack
            Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

            sigpic

            I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.

            Comment

            • #36
              Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

              I have been holding off on this issue as I have been thinking long and hard about the dilemmas and problems faced by society today.
              I think it all has to do with the level of penetration. Is it an accidental brushing or did it cause a belly button to go from an 'inny' to an 'outtie'? Was the depth the result of an outside force (like God) pressing you forward or merely an absent minded slip of the wrist?
              I myself on many occasion have had a itch that ended up being fairly difficult to get to and I have had to ask a friend to give me a hand. Of course, I returned the favor as it is the True Christian™ thing to do.

              Job 31:10
              Then let my wife grind unto another, and let others bow down upon her.
              Proverbs 5:9
              Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel:
              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

              Comment

              • #37
                Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

                Originally posted by John Creeser View Post
                First off, mind your tongue when adressing any True Christian™, this is our house, not yours.

                Second, I'm glad that you make light of something my True Christian™Brother takes very seriously (and it is serious). It's no laughing matter, he could have gotten the AID!!!
                Hi John

                1) I assure you I was just merely stating facts, which is why I used $$ for typing the word for your own

                2) Elliot is not gay, the finger was literary an accident, cutting off a finger would just be quite idiotic to be honest.

                3) You can not get aids that way, I am very sure so.... no offence but this is a funny link you should watch....

                [satanic link deleted]
                Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
                abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

                Comment

                • #38
                  Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

                  Originally posted by ajroloff View Post

                  3) You can not get aids that way,
                  You think you can't get AIDS through sodomy??? Son, your naivety is severe. I assure you that sodomy causes a great deal of AIDS.
                  The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                  Comment

                  • #39
                    Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

                    Originally posted by Talitha View Post
                    Good call brother Nobar. The harder the better.

                    Of course, there are all kinds of mops and pads available, but most of them are no more than Homersexural m'ing devices.

                    ***WARNING: LINK TO ANAL M'ING DEVICE***

                    OK
                    Judgments are prepared for scorners, and stripes for the back of fools. Proverbs 19:29

                    Comment

                    • #40
                      Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

                      With a half a roll of TP stuffed in your ass, you obviously had to exert tremendous hand pressure for your finger to pierce all the way through. Were you trying to push your stool back IN ?

                      Yup. Definitely homosexual.

                      Inform your wife/girlfriend at once before you rob her of any more of her time and life only to break her heart with your impending announcement later in time.Was it easy to go in all the way? Was the sphincter muscle loose? If so, yep, you're a flamer...sorry.You can get reparative therapy from Michelle Bachmann's husband. But first he'll discipline you.
                      Judgments are prepared for scorners, and stripes for the back of fools. Proverbs 19:29

                      Comment

                      • #41
                        Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

                        Originally posted by JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer View Post
                        With a half a roll of TP stuffed in your ass, you obviously had to exert tremendous hand pressure for your finger to pierce all the way through. Were you trying to push your stool back IN ?

                        Yup. Definitely homosexual.

                        Inform your wife/girlfriend at once before you rob her of any more of her time and life only to break her heart with your impending announcement later in time.Was it easy to go in all the way? Was the sphincter muscle loose? If so, yep, you're a flamer...sorry.You can get reparative therapy from Michelle Bachmann's husband. But first he'll discipline you.
                        As much as this dago queer disgusts me, I can't find much wrong with his evaluation of the situation. I mean, If ANYBODY is to know about these queer things, it would be this guy (or girl, or whatever).

                        Comment

                        • #42
                          Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

                          well if you must know think of the gentleman and scholar who spends his whole life need I say more doing naught more than "wiping", ....Now you present the fool who persists in exploring sensations as presented by the outlet at the bottom if you will of one's colon.
                          Does this present one "senses"
                          as it were? Yes, but only those when properly relationed to afford one a good cleansing of the aforementioned periphery.
                          Now, were one to indulge....nay..to allow oneself to experience the "emotions" provided by a plunging of one's digit or other soft device into said regions one may presume that one has wasted that same time on experiances
                          unrelated to the normalcy of life.
                          DOTH THINE UNDERSTANDING PERVADITH THEE?
                          Judgments are prepared for scorners, and stripes for the back of fools. Proverbs 19:29

                          Comment

                          • #43
                            Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

                            Does any of the above post make sense to anyone else?

                            sigpic
                            Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                            John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                            Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                            The truth about volcanos
                            Sex and debauchery in public schools
                            Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                            God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                            Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                            Comment

                            • #44
                              Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

                              Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
                              Does any of the above post make sense to anyone else?
                              No.
                              5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                              To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                              James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                              Comment

                              • #45
                                Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

                                Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
                                Does any of the above post make sense to anyone else?

                                Originally posted by Juan Garcia, foul pervert etc.
                                DOTH THINE UNDERSTANDING PERVADITH THEE?
                                Shouldn't that be PERVADEST NOT THEE THINE UNDERSTANDING?

                                His† head's a funny colour. Has it been shrunk or something?

                                † CAUTION links to profile/I wish I hadn't seen it now
                                Last edited by Billy Bob Jenkins; 07-13-2011, 12:51 AM. Reason: clarified citation

                                Comment

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