Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

This morning I noticed something different at the 4-way stop east of the sheriff's office.

Apparently, somebody's dog went missing and they thought the appropriate course of action would be to print off four copies of a "Missing" poster with the pet's picture and tape one to each of the four stop signs.

I guess they thought that since they were just taping it to the pole and not the sign face itself, it would be okay.

They thought wrong.

I immediately turned on my lights and stationed my cruiser in the middle of the intersection to block traffic while I tended to the situation.

Careful investigation revealed that the perpetrator had affixed their phone number and address to the poster, essentially taking all the detective work out of my job.

"Too easy," I thought as I carefully re-entered my cruiser and drove immediately to the address listed on the paper.

I banged on the door, and a retirement-age lady answered.

I inquired if she had a missing dog.

She confirmed that she did, with a hopeful tone as though I were reuniting her with it.

I informed her that stop signs are government property and are not her private bulletin boards.

I ended up having to take her to the intersection so she could remove the posters, and carefully scrape off the residue that the electrical tape had left behind on the sign posts.

It turns out that her grandson helped her print up the papers, so I decided to split the fine between the two of them since I was in a good mood.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop

Those miscreants won't make that mistake again. Thanks for your good work, Sheriff Richards!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop

It turns out that her grandson helped her print up the papers, so I decided to split the fine between the two of them since I was in a good mood.

Your boundless generosity keeps amazing me. Something other, atheist, cops should clearly take as an example. Did you check if the boys parents gave him a good beating?

Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop

Excellent handling of a difficult case, Sheriff.

The additional thing I liked about your report was that the dog is still missing. Our city does not need another mouth to feed.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop

That old lady is the entitlement mentality that is destroying America! Stop signs are PUBLIC PROPERTY! There is no excuse for that person to use it!

[Bible Student]

Re: Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop

This morning I noticed something different at the 4-way stop east of the sheriff's office.

Apparently, somebody's dog went missing and they thought the appropriate course of action would be to print off four copies of a "Missing" poster with the pet's picture and tape one to each of the four stop signs.

I guess they thought that since they were just taping it to the pole and not the sign face itself, it would be okay.

They thought wrong.

I immediately turned on my lights and stationed my cruiser in the middle of the intersection to block traffic while I tended to the situation.

Careful investigation revealed that the perpetrator had affixed their phone number and address to the poster, essentially taking all the detective work out of my job.

"Too easy," I thought as I carefully re-entered my cruiser and drove immediately to the address listed on the paper.

I banged on the door, and a retirement-age lady answered.

I inquired if she had a missing dog.

She confirmed that she did, with a hopeful tone as though I were reuniting her with it.

I informed her that stop signs are government property and are not her private bulletin boards.

I ended up having to take her to the intersection so she could remove the posters, and carefully scrape off the residue that the electrical tape had left behind on the sign posts.

It turns out that her grandson helped her print up the papers, so I decided to split the fine between the two of them since I was in a good mood.

Officer Richards, congratulations on a job well done. I for one appreciate the fact that in knocking on a strange door, you could be putting your life in danger. That little old lady could have had a shotgun in the house, left over from her daughter's wedding.

One question though, do the stop signs have signs on them informing people that they are not allowed to put signs on the stop signs? That would be helpful for little old ladies, and their grandsons.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop

Officer Richards, congratulations on a job well done. I for one appreciate the fact that in knocking on a strange door, you could be putting your life in danger. That little old lady could have had a shotgun in the house, left over from her daughter's wedding.

One question though, do the stop signs have signs on them informing people that they are not allowed to put signs on the stop signs? That would be helpful for little old ladies, and their grandsons.

rou

Bible--Glad you brought up this topic. I've determined the most cost effective way we can stop people from covering stop sign with their stickers is to return to metal stop signs.

This way we can charge the signs with electicity and give a good jolt to people that touch them.

[Bible Student]

Re: Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop

Originally Posted by Bible Student
Officer Richards, congratulations on a job well done. I for one appreciate the fact that in knocking on a strange door, you could be putting your life in danger. That little old lady could have had a shotgun in the house, left over from her daughter's wedding.

One question though, do the stop signs have signs on them informing people that they are not allowed to put signs on the stop signs? That would be helpful for little old ladies, and their grandsons.

rou

Bible--Glad you brought up this topic. I've determined the most cost effective way we can stop people from covering stop sign with their stickers is to return to metal stop signs.

This way we can charge the signs with electicity and give a good jolt to people that touch them.

Most excellent idea. That would have the additional benefit of keeping the stop signs from being stolen. Is the budget going to be able to cover this additional expense or do you have to wait for next year's budget to be approved?

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop

rou

Bible--Glad you brought up this topic. I've determined the most cost effective way we can stop people from covering stop sign with their stickers is to return to metal stop signs.

This way we can charge the signs with electicity and give a good jolt to people that touch them.

I just hope this doesn't start a teen prank like ''lick the stop sign'', hospital bills could mount up quickly. That is unless you plan on budgeting monies for warning signs to be placed at all 4 way stops.I Guess you could print up a warning sticker to keep the price down.

[SUV]

Re: Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop

I hope that very soon we can also "clean up" that "DoG" Shane

[dicker]

Re: Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop

Excuse me if I do say Sheriff, but looks like you've gone soft, I think she should have been punished a little more severely than that, you gave the 6 year old mace in the face, this granny got off lightly for sure.

And while she's off galavanting about abusing public property she's wasting time that could be used to bake cakes for her family!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop

I just hope this doesn't start a teen prank like ''lick the stop sign'', hospital bills could mount up quickly.

Could they? I thought that any foolish sign-lickers would have to either pay their own way or not get treated. Anything else is just rampant socialism.
Anyway, back on topic, it strikes me that this story, as well as being inspirational in its own right, also serves as a fine parable for these Blessed Boards. Truly, Landover Baptist Church Forums are like a big "STOP" sign for all those sinners merrily speeding on their way to Hell, and those who attempt to sabotage our boards by starting discussions not directly related to the Love of Our Lord Jesus Christ are no better than a bunch of whining old ladies trying to find their lost dogs. The dogs represent perverted unnatural lust, or possibly Marxism, I'm not quite sure.