[dicker]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I guess you just summed up the state of Chine morality here. Not much of reason for God to test the Chines for latent homosexuality when all God has to do is look into the restroom stall of the nearest bar?

Actually Homosexuality is frowned upon here by most, quite racist as well towards black people (I'm sure you'd get along if you gave them the chance ;-) )

The story I spoke of happened in England so it blows your theory out the window I'm afraid.

And anyway, why test other countries with cucumbers and just not China?
America is God's favourite country, surely they don't need testing?

In fact I reckon other countries around the world also only have unpokable cucumbers for sale, perhaps you guys should organise a road trip and truly find out what countries God finds worthy of testing and those he has already forsaken.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Actually Homosexuality is frowned upon here by most, quite racist as well towards black people (I'm sure you'd get along if you gave them the chance ;-) )

Why would a Christian like me associate with racists?

The story I spoke of happened in England so it blows your theory out the window I'm afraid.

No, not in the lest. The English eat cucumber sandwiches. Think about it.

As for China, the FACTS speak for themselves; China is a communist country, as in Atheist, the only reason anyone would bother being an athiest is to have ass sex. Why would God bother testing the Chines when they scream it the heavens every day of the week they want ass sex?

And anyway, why test other countries with cucumbers and just not China?
America is God's favourite country, surely they don't need testing? I fact I reckon other countries around the world also only have unpokable cucumbers for sale, perhaps you guys should organise a road trip and truly find out what countries God finds worthy of testing and those he has already forsaken.

You're still avoid the basic point of my arguement because you are some nimrod who thinks he's a wit. How do you get cucumbers that are suitable for bottom bothering without the Hand of God? That some cucumbers aren't suitable is really besides the point.

the TL: DR version: show me how nature makes cucumbers the size of dildos.

[dicker]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

How can you prove or disprove such a stupid theory?

God made cucumbers to test us? lol, it's pretty funny to be honest.

I think you flip a coin, if it's heads, then God did it, if it's tails, Satan made it.

God made cucumbers to tempt us.
Satan made women's orgasms.

Could quite have easily been Satan made cucumbers to tempt us to poke up our butts cos they are perfect for it.
God gave women orgasms to test us.

Look up racist in a dictionary, maybe they'll be a little photo of you, you all hate everyone! use words like slope, spic, yellow chink, the list goes on.

" the only reason anyone would bother being an athiest is to have ass sex. Why would God bother testing the Chines when they scream it the heavens every day of the week they want ass sex?"

Please provide a list of countries that are worthy of being tested by God and therefore have been provided with adequately shaped nicely textured cucumbers. I'm sure by your strict standards no country other than america would qualify so why bother testing any other countries?

Last point, disprove your theory?

You mean the one based on the fact it is possible to put a certain veggie up your butt? lol, can't believe i'm bothering but here goes....

cucumber is not only long veggie, also carrot, also fruits, bananas are pretty long. There's a varied range of shapes and sizes, some happen to be long.
Are other things that are long also intended for the same thing? How about a pen? pretty slim shape, perfect for the virgin who isn't ready to build up to the cucumber just yet. How about dildos and vibrators?
Did God make all these things for the same reason?
This topic is such an obvious trolling but I can't help coming back for more lol

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

For what reason do we need to test a theory based on the Bible?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

How can you prove or disprove such a stupid theory?

God made cucumbers to test us? lol, it's pretty funny to be honest.

I think you flip a coin, if it's heads, then God did it, if it's tails, Satan made it.

God made cucumbers to tempt us.
Satan made women's orgasms.
blah blah, blah

Again you missed my point; what other deity, except God as described in The Bible, is obsessed with what people put up their backsides? Only the Christian God will damn people for putting something up their butts. Show me any other god who destroyed two who cities for sodomy, except for God.

Logically then, if we find something supernaturally created for purpose of self sodomy, we have proved God existence. I am asserting cucumbers at that thing.

[dicker]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Logically then, if we find something supernaturally created for purpose of self sodomy, we have proved God existence. I am asserting cucumbers at that thing.

Logic has nothing to do with anything you say, basically, you are asserting it, it's your theory and you are just one person out of many.
It's not in your precious scripture (Why would God ever say something so stupid?) so there's no real 'proof' of it.
I think most people would laugh in the face of anyone who tried to claim this was true with a straight face.

It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, also one of the funniest, guess that's why I keep coming back for more

Praise the great one

[EUSOUDEUS]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

That's a very valid point Mrs Roberts.
I remember one time when my dear departed husband was alive.
There was a loud scream from the Bathroom.
My poor husband had somehow slipped on some soap in the shower, and fell backwards on to one of these Demonic Cucumbers (which just happened to be pointing upright).
It took a team of Surgeons quite some time to remove it.
We never had Cucumber sandwiches again, after that day.
I think he re-lived it several times.

Is this for real? A cucumber in the bathroom, pointing upright? Really?
You husband was putting a cucumber up his ass. He was probably gay.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Is this for real? A cucumber in the bathroom, pointing upright? Really?
You husband was putting a cucumber up his ass. He was probably gay.

That's disgusting!

Why would a homosexual man insert a cucmber into his rectum? Would he not rather insert a man, or more likely a teenage boy or a gerbil?

Perhaps he was a closet vegan, but surely not a homosexual.

[Aerida]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

My atheist friends time taunt me with childish question like “show me any proof, no matter how vague of this existence of God.” While this is utterly disingenuous, proof of God’s existence is in all of our hearts as atheists well know, I suppose for the weak faith it is worth the effort of putting up a good example. So for my friends how there who persist in denying the existence of God here goes.

The cucumber: The cucumber sleek shape is the correct size of the human hand. While one can make the weak argument that cucumbers are just that size because apes eat them and Godly micro evolution caused this them to be convenient to a human sized hand no other primate we are supposedly related to eats the cucumber, only humans. This also makes the cucumber the optimal size to be inserted into a human bodily orifice, again there is no natural reason for this. Only humans are depraved enough to violate themselves with a vegetable. Cucumbers have a tough out skin that allows them to put up to resist repeated rubbing, like what will happen when a cucumber is inserted into a human bodily orifice for purulent reasons. Again, no natural reason for this.

Evolution can not explain the cucumber. So clearly the cucumber has a creator.

Who or what is so obsessed with what humans put into their bodies that it would create a vegetable to enable it? There is only one answer; the God of the Christian Bible. Sticking things into your bum is a major point of Christianity. It is the direst of sins and God is on the constant alert for it, He is utterly outraged by it and tests humanity for it relentlessly. Clearly cucumbers are created by God as a trap for any hidden self sodomites out there.

Game over Atheists.

Alright, forgive me if this is wrong. Being raised Pentacostal, our family was taught a few things that, already, I've found don't line up with the true word of God. So, this is a bit confusing for me. You say that cucumbers were created by God as a trap for self sodomites, to tempt them to sodomy, and defiling the temple of God. But, doesn't James 1:13 say that God tests us but does not tempt us? http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...13&version=KJV I'm just a bit confused here. If someone could clear this up I would be forever grateful.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Alright, forgive me if this is wrong. Being raised Pentacostal, our family was taught a few things that, already, I've found don't line up with the true word of God. So, this is a bit confusing for me. You say that cucumbers were created by God as a trap for self sodomites, to tempt them to sodomy, and defiling the temple of God. But, doesn't James 1:13 say that God tests us but does not tempt us? http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...13&version=KJV I'm just a bit confused here. If someone could clear this up I would be forever grateful.

Keep reading past James 1:13 ...

(James 1:14) "But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed."

And where does that lead?

(1 John 2:16) "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world."

And who created the world?

(Genesis 1:1) In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth."

It's all right there in the Bible!



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Alright, forgive me if this is wrong. Being raised Pentacostal, our family was taught a few things that, already, I've found don't line up with the true word of God. So, this is a bit confusing for me. You say that cucumbers were created by God as a trap for self sodomites, to tempt them to sodomy, and defiling the temple of God. But, doesn't James 1:13 say that God tests us but does not tempt us? http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...13&version=KJV I'm just a bit confused here. If someone could clear this up I would be forever grateful.

My pardon if I suggested God was deliberately manipulating us to self sodomize. I mean tempt as in the sense test, as in God says "here is a cucumber, the next is up to you but I better not catch you doing anything perverted with it" not tempt as in God is saying "go on, you want to".

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

That's disgusting!

Why would a homosexual man insert a cucmber into his rectum? Would he not rather insert a man, or more likely a teenage boy or a gerbil?

Perhaps he was a closet vegan, but surely not a homosexual.

Amen. It seems to me that the cucumber is more to tempt relatively innocent people, not full blown homers. A normal person might think: it's only a cucumber, it's not like it's a penis or anything, whereas a homersexural is going to want something with a bit more girth, like a melon, or a small, shaved ferret.

It is amazing to me how many animal rights activists are homosexual. They are such hypocrites. It's alright for you to stuff animals in your ass, but not for me to eat them? I just don't get atheists.

[Athannihilate]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

My atheist friends...

Wait... You have atheist friends? Why?

[Levi Jones]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Wait... You have atheist friends? Why?

Probably in the manner that we call you "friend", friend.

[Athannihilate]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Probably in the manner that we call you "friend", friend.

Does anyone on this website EVER have a nice response to a question?