[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

This is quite the first post friend, what drugs are you on ?

Why not go to the introduction forum and tell us about yourself. Leave nothing out, every sordid detail, it is the only way to begin cleansing your soul of sin.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

All very interesting, but the Bible tells us not to believe Jewish folk tales:
Ti:1:14: Not giving heed to Jewish fables, and commandments of men, that turn from the truth.)
Most of these cults you mention are inspired of Satan as a mockery of the One True Religion.

Now get yourself over to the introduction forum so we may do out best to cleanse your soul of its iniquity.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

No I wouldnt consider it a cult at all. Wait.. Do you guys receive any money? If so ya. Definitely a cult.

The amount we receive is pitiful, surely you would not deny those who save souls such things as free medical care, housing, (utilities, food etc) subsidized vacations, use of cars and light aircraft, etc., when all we are paid is a little below the national average of $125,000 plus bonuses?

[Levi Jones]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Jesus is a mythological amalgamation of various pagan gods and deities invented by the Egyptians and other cultures.
Egypt 3000 BC Horus:
He was born on December 25th of a virgin (Isis Mary)

According to your Egyptian myths: Isis was not a virgin, numbnuts. She was married to Osiris. Seth killed and dismembered Osiris, so Isis put his body back together and had sex with it to conceive Horus.

• A star in the East proclaimed his arrival

If you can find that anywhere in the Book of the Dead, I will paypal you $10. (hint: you won't be able to, because it isn't there.)

• Three kings came to adore the new-born savior

An event that never took place in the Bible. Show me in the Holy Bible where three wise men visited Jesus.

He became a prodigious teacher at age 12

Link to Horus teaching as a child or entering a temple to teach at all?

Horus had twelve disciples

Wrong again, skippy. He allegedly had 16 human followers and 4 sub gods and blacksmiths who followed him into battle to avenge his father's death.

He was crucified He was buried for three days He was resurrected after three days

No, no and no. There is one unofficial account that has Horus dying and his body parts being thrown into a river. There are no other accounts of Horus dying.

Referred to as “The lamb of God” and “the light”

Great God, Chief of the Powers, Master of Heaven, and Avenger of His Father. Nothing there about being the lamb of God.

I'm starting to see a pattern here. It's you talking out of your backside. Care to put out any proof of that claim outside of Massey's money making scheme?

I'm not going to bother with the rest of your ill-informed ignorant blasphemy.

Try thinking for yourself instead of being spoonfed from some stupid book.

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Jesus is a mythological amalgamation of various pagan gods and deities invented by the Egyptians and other cultures.

[snip]
However, they do not celebrate the resurrection of the sun until the Spring Equinox, or Easter. This is because at the Spring Equinox the sun officially overpowers the evil darkness, as daytime thereafter becomes longer in duration than the night, and the revitalizing conditions of spring emerge.

Your salvation is hanging by a very thin thread indeed.

I have taking the liberty of deleting the massive copy/paste, which you have posted twice. If you want to stay here, you'll have to go to the introduction forum and ask for a name change to a less blasphemous name.

I'm praying for you, Son.

[Bill Murray]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

i dont think its a cult i think we are just some cool dudes that like jesus a bunch dont be a jerk or you might get a hell when you die

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Jesus is a mythological amalgamation of various pagan gods and deities invented by the Egyptians and other cultures.

[snip]

However, they do not celebrate the resurrection of the sun until the Spring Equinox, or Easter. This is because at the Spring Equinox the sun officially overpowers the evil darkness, as daytime thereafter becomes longer in duration than the night, and the revitalizing conditions of spring emerge.

Sure you don't mean Mithra?

i dont think its a cult i think we are just some cool dudes that like jesus a bunch dont be a jerk or you might get a hell when you die

I think Rahm Emanuel has something to say to you.

[Servant of eskimo demons]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Cult or no cult you will all be damned when He Of Ultimate Power comes back for your wretched souls.

The devil will spare you no punishment as you are due for more than even he can give.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Cult or no cult you will all be damned when He Of Ultimate Power comes back for your wretched souls.

The devil will spare you no punishment as you are due for more than even he can give.

Can you back any of that up with Scripture?

[Servant of eskimo demons]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

As I already explained here http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...t=1997&page=45
your "Bible" is nothing more than food for the furnace, a piece of paper so unworthy that wiping your ass with it is almost sinful. The fact that you demon spawn still cling to that thing is as clear a sign as any imaginable of your wicked nature and your inevitable doom.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

As I already explained here http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...t=1997&page=45
your "Bible" is nothing more than food for the furnace, a piece of paper so unworthy that wiping your ass with it is almost sinful. The fact that you demon spawn still cling to that thing is as clear a sign as any imaginable of your wicked nature and your inevitable doom.

Dear Godmocking Eskimo Savage;

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule of worshiping satan and fornicating with baby seals to post this hateful message. The Holy Bible tells us that we are actually Blessed by your persecution! Thanks for proving that we're right.

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I can't wait to watch you burn in hell for all eternity. Oh, how we'll laugh at you as you scream in agony! Shout Glory!!

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[James Hutchins]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

As I already explained here http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...t=1997&page=45
your "Bible" is nothing more than food for the furnace, a piece of paper so unworthy that wiping your ass with it is almost sinful. The fact that you demon spawn still cling to that thing is as clear a sign as any imaginable of your wicked nature and your inevitable doom.

You mean this?

The wonderful book you call the Bible is the Word Of The Lord. The only real account of his laws is held by God, the American institution for the preservation of ancient documents. It is only to be seen by True Christians™as unwashed mongrels fropm iceland would pollute it be merely laying our blind eyes upon them.

And don't go quoting our viking malarkey material as it is of no worth to a man that has seen the light of His Word.

You seem to be contradicting yourself. Been drinking bucko?

[Servant of eskimo demons]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Satan is but a Pawn to His Grace. He is no more worth the worship than my toenail clippings.

And how do you dear deny the horrors of Selríðingar. The holy ceremony of Seal blowing. It is by far the best way of communicating with the highest of His Servants, the Icelandic Landselir.

And my messages are all hateful. They are not empowered by His Love. If it was not for my undying love for the damned I would simply have left you to my lies and delusions. But than I would have felt the slightest sense of happiness in the afterlife when I will watch your glee. By leaving you these posts I will blame myself of all responsibility for my damnation.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Bizarre, self-contradictory rant

Did anyone understand that?

[GodIsAlmighty]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

I think Satan made him distort his ideas into unfitting words. And the pot he must have smoked before each post probably did not help.