Does God Allow The Outsourcing Of The Beating Of Your Children?

[Gabriel Reproba]

I saw this expose on a new business starting up in California where parents can outsource the beating of their children to a skilled professional. I read the article and I have a few questions. First, here is the text:

Authorities say a California couple who suspected their 15-year-old son of smoking turned to a man relied on in their church to violently discipline children.
San Bernardino County sheriff's spokesperson Cindy Bachmann said Saturday that the Irvine parents asked 39-year-old Paul Kim to discipline their son after finding a lighter in the teen's possession, and they dropped the boy off at Kim's Chino Hills home with permission for the beating.
Bachmann says Kim hit the child with a metal pole, causing severe bruising.
Kim was arrested Tuesday and released Thursday after posting bail.
Bachmann says the district attorney's office was reviewing the case and will decide whether to charge the teen's father. It wasn't immediately known whether the father was present at the time of the beating.

So here are my questions:

1. What do you think they are investigating the father for? What on Earth are they even thinking of "charging" him with? Is it because he outsourced the beating instead of doing it himself? Was the business unlicensed? I don't think the Holy Bible supports any possible charges. The father was doing exactly what he was told by God in the Bible.

First, it clearly says that you should beat your children with tools:

Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

The guy providing the service used what the story described as "a metal pole" which is a rod. Also, if your will children don't obey, The Bible says you are to have the "village elders" stone them to death:

Deuteronomy 21:18-21
If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

What is this stoning by elders if not outsourced discipline? So I ask again, why is the father being investigated? This is Biblical punishment combined with capitalistic ingenuity. What could be more American and Christian?

2. Should we start such a service here in Landover?

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Does God Allow The Outsourcing Of The Beating Of Your Children?

You bring up some excellent points Brother Reproba.

I see this issue of outsourcing as a further degeneration of Christian cultural values in our society. Beatings are a function of Biblical male discipline that is fast disappearing in our present culture – what with lezbeans using turkey basters to sire children and all.

It used to be that in order to drive a car you had to know what a clutch and gear shift was, along with the spark control and a choke just to get them started using a hand crank. When women started demanding the vote and to be able to drive cars, suddenly we started getting automatic transmissions, electric starters and computer controlled engines. Some might call this "progress" (coming from some people that call themselves "progressives" – i.e. LIEbrals), but I assure you this has led to nothing but trouble.

Manly men used to learn how to administer a proper beating by being beaten by their fathers before them. This has been lost under a whole generation brought up under whining and coddling LIEbral education philosophies that have ignored Biblical principles and teachings. I think this outsourcing is only a glimpse of things to come. One day we may have automated beating machines that will accomplish the same thing – if the authorities don't outlaw them through government regulation first.

My guess is that the Democrats will find a way to shut down outsourcers through licensing laws and regulation, which will drive this service offshore and take away good American jobs.

I didn't mean to digress here, but I think some of these things are transitional. Until we throw Obama out of office and return to traditional Biblical family values we will have to find innovative ways to continue to administer proper beatings before our civilization lies in ruins.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Does God Allow The Outsourcing Of The Beating Of Your Children?

I would gladly volunteer to beat anyone's children in the name of God, if I weren't already so busy beating my own and looking for phallic symbols in seemingly innocent art and architecture.

Maybe we could find people that God has cursed with no or few children and have them beat our kids for us, like babysitting, only babybeating. Preferably those who are also experienced in manual labor. I wonder, could we get Mexican'ts to beat our children for us?

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Does God Allow The Outsourcing Of The Beating Of Your Children?

Maybe we could find people that God has cursed with no or few children and have them beat our kids for us, like babysitting, only babybeating.

Great idea! We need to do some branding work on this, but I see franchising opportunities here! You could have Biblical "daycare" center on every corner where you could bring your kids for discipline by a trained specialist. They would be experts in inflicting the physical pain that God demands (without leaving any marks.)

Preferably those who are also experienced in manual labor. I wonder, could we get Mexican'ts to beat our children for us?

Well we know that the wetbacks are taking jobs from Americans, but SOME jobs are OK to let the wall-jumpers have because they are jobs that Americans don't want to do. This article hints what many people have known for a while: Many Americans don't want to raise their kids...even the fun parts like discipline. Sad, but true. Since the market has spoken, we can jump and offer a Biblical solution that will make us a fortune!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Does God Allow The Outsourcing Of The Beating Of Your Children?

I am often called upon by upstanding members of our congregation to lay on Godly beatings. Husbands offer me large Love Offerings to discipline their mouthy women, and I also offer lessons.

Not a few women have contacted me privately, begging to be spanked. Men, do your jobs.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Does God Allow The Outsourcing Of The Beating Of Your Children?

branding work

Branding work will be the least of our worries. I have an uncle who breeds cattle; it is easier than you might think. You just heat up an iron rod, and mold it into an original and recognizable shape. Then whenever you have a new kid, you heat up the end and sear him on the flank. I'll bet James Hutchins could brand all of his own children, with the aid of servants, in a single weekend.

[I am not Saved]

Re: Does God Allow The Outsourcing Of The Beating Of Your Children?

I am often called upon by upstanding members of our congregation to lay on Godly beatings. Husbands offer me large Love Offerings to discipline their mouthy women, and I also offer lessons.

Not a few women have contacted me privately, begging to be spanked. Men, do your jobs.

Ezekial, Sorry about the message I just feel a bit strongly about some stuff
Listen I don't want to make any enemys or anything, I just want my opinions heard, and maybe I was a bit outspoken in my replies. Listen, I came acroos this website wondering "what is wrong with these people (no offence)" and really I suppose i just judged your people from what I read on here. So, yeah, I don't mean to be rude or anything, I'm just a bit too outspoken I suppose.

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: Does God Allow The Outsourcing Of The Beating Of Your Children?

I came acroos this website wondering "what is wrong with these people

Why do you think it is wrong to live according to will of God, the bible?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Does God Allow The Outsourcing Of The Beating Of Your Children?

That is a mildly interesting case that has been long decided in

Moses v. The People of Israel, ex parte God (698BC)

De:25:1: If there be a controversy between men, and they come unto judgment, that the judges may judge them; then they shall justify the righteous, and condemn the wicked.
De:25:2: And it shall be, if the wicked man be worthy to be beaten, that the judge shall cause him to lie down, and to be beaten before his face, according to his fault, by a certain number.
De:25:3: Forty stripes he may give him, and not exceed: lest, if he should exceed, and beat him above these with many stripes, then thy brother should seem vile unto thee.

With what shall the child be beaten?
This was decided in
Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

What sort of rod?

Psalms:2:7: I will declare the decree: the LORD hath said unto me, Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee.
Psalms:2:8: Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession.
Psalms:2:9: Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel.