[The Rev. Dwight Williams]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Best of luck to you with your fundraiser and its worthy goal!

I wish I could have my jet upgraded, but this year presented me with a more pressing need and challenge. As some of y'all no doubt have been informated, police in various and numerous American municipalities and jurisdictions have been shooting their guns at black men in or near their cars.

Now, my Bentley is lavishously appointed and fit to be the vehicular representation to my flock, but unfortunately it is not armored. So this year, in an effort to guaranter the longevity and continuing good health of my person, my congremegants organized a donation drive to retrofit my Bentley with military-grade anti-ballistic paneling and glass, bullet-resistant tires, and a laser-guided defense system that neutralizes incoming projectiles with microflak bursts. That last bit o technologerizin was leased from the Israelis and cost a pretty penny.

Now, my flock may not be as numerous or affluentialized as some others, and my megachurch can only seat 12,000. Fundraisin ain't easy when the majority of people in them seats are tithing only 1/3rd of their gubbament checks, but we managed to raise the $26 million in only three months!

[Samuel Levenson]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Have you tried my recipes I posted in the Basic Recipe thread? Surely you must concur I am not lying when I state these recipes are easy to prepare and really nice to eat? Perhaps Esther will post her recipe for the meat pie with a bacon crust, that would be nice. I asked before but I didn´t get a response.

We're getting off topic so I'll go straight to the source:


John 8:44- Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it."


See? Since you're not a Christian, your father is the devil and you lie just like him. Checkmate atheist!

[Roland]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

[...] I can only assume that most of what you say is an abominable lie.

Have you tried my recipes I posted in the Basic Recipe thread? Surely you must concur I am not lying when I state these recipes are easy to prepare and really nice to eat? Perhaps Esther will post her recipe for the meat pie with a bacon crust, that would be nice. I asked before but I didn´t get a response.

[Samuel Levenson]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Hello Samuel,

My RC plane crashed a few years ago. An airplane I can not afford but perhaps an other Pastafarian has one (see the video of the Greek Pirate Plane Didymus posted). If you look through my posts you might find where my interests are.

Friend, have you ever heard the expression "you can be anyone on the internet"? Just because you claim you had an RC plane doesn't mean you did! Just because you claim to live "On a mountain with a tree and a midget" doesn't mean you do! And since your profile shows that you're a damned meatball worshiper and not a True Christian(tm), I can only assume that most of what you say is an abominable lie.

[Roland]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Pastafarians are a bunch of rebellious, broke college kids who think they're edgy for bashing Jesus and worshiping Ramen noodles. They couldn't buy an RC plane, let alone an aircraft.

Hello Samuel,

My RC plane crashed a few years ago. An airplane I can not afford but perhaps an other Pastafarian has one (see the video of the Greek Pirate Plane Didymus posted). If you look through my posts you might find where my interests are.

[Samuel Levenson]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

So, say you all go and get Zeke his nice fancy Airbus, and he's on his way to God-forsaken hellhole like Denver or San Francisco, and then the Pastafarian Air Force shows up:


Now waht?

Pastafarians are a bunch of rebellious, broke college kids who think they're edgy for bashing Jesus and worshiping Ramen noodles. They couldn't buy an RC plane, let alone an aircraft.

[Roland]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

So, say you all go and get Zeke his nice fancy Airbus, and he's on his way to God-forsaken hellhole like Denver or San Francisco, and then the Pastafarian Air Force shows up:

Now what?

Pastafarians are a easy going bunch of people. Some perhaps not, but then they rather not be Pastafarians. Perhaps the aircraft you posted might at some time be used to fend of the ninja´s, the natural enemy of the Pastafarians.

[Didymus Much]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

So, say you all go and get Zeke his nice fancy Airbus, and he's on his way to God-forsaken hellhole like Denver or San Francisco, and then the Pastafarian Air Force shows up:

Now waht?

[Alvin Moss]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brother Elmer, it is gratifying to see that others are beginning to see my point. I suggested some time back that the Jews should be consulted with the goal of obtaining favorable terms, so that the aircraft can be purchased immediately. Though it will put the congregation in debt, I believe there is enough opportunity for profit and the conversion of sinners to God's people that the investment will bear fruit from the first day.

[Esther B.]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brethren, a new opportunity to finally get the Jet purchased!

With the recent atheist uproar about killing vermin, such as lions, tigers, koalas and rhinoceroses, all previously Godly airlines of the United States and Emirates have now forbidden the transport of animal trophies. Last, Delta joins this unbiblical BAN!



Who's going to take home the beheaded heads, horns, antlers and baculums that our boys and husbands bring home from the jungles of the Hamite Continent and Asia!

Zeke.

During the days of rest and spreading the Gospel to the vilest of sinners in Vegas, Monaco, Moscow and Pyongyang, Pastor Ezekiel's Jet can carry Godly cargo back to America with reasonable prizes. Thus, this new jet will not only gain souls but also currency for its maintenance, fuel and interior design!

2 Samuel 17:10
And he also that is valiant, whose heart is as the heart of a lion, shall utterly melt: for all Israel knoweth that thy father is a mighty man, and they which be with him are valiant men.

It's time make the purchase with a loan and start carrying this cargo of Jesus!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

What a wonderful idea! Samuel will send $500,000 to go towards the plane and this excellent idea.

[Samuel Levenson]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I wouldn't dare suggest that a senior pastor would fly on an aircraft with non-Christians, but has anyone here flown via NetJets? I was in godless Europe meeting with a potential investor when my mother fell very ill. I arranged for NetJets to fly me back to the US immediately. With less than an hour's notice they had a jet on the tarmac. Praise God for sparing my mother's life until I could get the power of attorney documents signed. Without that flight (and the consolation of the stewardess) I might have missed my opportunity mother's passing.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brethren, a new opportunity to finally get the Jet purchased!

With the recent atheist uproar about killing vermin, such as lions, tigers, koalas and rhinoceroses, all previously Godly airlines of the United States and Emirates have now forbidden the transport of animal trophies. Last, Delta joins this unbiblical BAN!
Who's going to take home the beheaded heads, horns, antlers and baculums that our boys and husbands bring home from the jungles of the Hamite Continent and Asia!

Zeke.

During the days of rest and spreading the Gospel to the vilest of sinners in Vegas, Monaco, Moscow and Pyongyang, Pastor Ezekiel's Jet can carry Godly cargo back to America with reasonable prizes. Thus, this new jet will not only gain souls but also currency for its maintenance, fuel and interior design!

It's time make the purchase with a loan and start carrying this cargo of Jesus!

Elmer

How timely, Brother Elmer. Just the other day the Committee wrote a memo to Pastor Zeke asking which of his prized collection of trophy heads he wanted in the Cigar Room. It never occurred to us we could fill the lower fright area with crated trophy heads and charge a bundle.

You put us on to something.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brethren, a new opportunity to finally get the Jet purchased!

With the recent atheist uproar about killing vermin, such as lions, tigers, koalas and rhinoceroses, all previously Godly airlines of the United States and Emirates have now forbidden the transport of animal trophies. Last, Delta joins this unbiblical BAN!

“Effective immediately, Delta will officially ban shipment of all lion, leopard, elephant, rhinoceros and buffalo trophies worldwide as freight. Prior to this ban, Delta's strict acceptance policy called for absolute compliance with all government regulations regarding protected species. Delta will also review acceptance policies of other hunting trophies with appropriate government agencies and other organizations supporting legal shipments.”

Who's going to take home the beheaded heads, horns, antlers and baculums that our boys and husbands bring home from the jungles of the Hamite Continent and Asia!

Zeke.

During the days of rest and spreading the Gospel to the vilest of sinners in Vegas, Monaco, Moscow and Pyongyang, Pastor Ezekiel's Jet can carry Godly cargo back to America with reasonable prizes. Thus, this new jet will not only gain souls but also currency for its maintenance, fuel and interior design!

2 Samuel 17:10
And he also that is valiant, whose heart is as the heart of a lion, shall utterly melt: for all Israel knoweth that thy father is a mighty man, and they which be with him are valiant men.

It's time make the purchase with a loan and start carrying this cargo of Jesus!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[WWJDnow]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Is one plane enough for Pastor Zeke? He needs to take all those boys from the Landover Baptist youth ministries with him when he travels to spread the Good News. I know that Pastor Zeke is a humble man, but I don't think Jesus would want one of His most successful ministers to be cramped up in coach. Plus, what if the plane experiences mechanical difficulties. Think of how many lost souls will not be saved for every minute Pastor Zeke's flight is delayed! I don't want to live with that kind of guilt. Do you?

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Thank you, Gentlemen! Esther's family and mine will send a total of $750,000 towards Pastor Ezekiel's plane and a cousin will send $250,000 as well.