[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Policing Freehold

No longer will you have to look over your shoulder and worry about human rights activists, liberal judges, civilian review boards, police brutality charges, etc. For anyone in the security business, it's going to be paradise.

Even more good news I see. This means we will finally get rid of all the homosexuals and other criminals who are poluting our children with their filth.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

I issued a fine to the 10th grader and she was sent home to her parents to explain. The teacher is going to have a lot to answer for when she goes before the board. I wouldn't want to be her.
[/FONT]

Go before the board? Hells bells, she ought to be serving jail time for child molestation. When she gets out of prison 40 years from now, she'll be a registered sex criminal.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Policing Freehold

[FONT=Arial]WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 27, 2010

Well today was a first, and I've seen a lot. Somebody called the police to report that a high schooler was caught looking at pornography at the library.

I insisted I take the call. I'm very good with kids.

I arrived at the library in record time. It didn't take long to figure out who the pervert in question was. She was being guarded at her computer by the senior librarian.

I understand your rage Officer Don, but take heart from the fact that our continued efforts to defund schools, parks, libraries, fire departments, social security, etc will soon solve this problem permanently. In the near future, there won't be any public schools. Home schooling (by candlelight) will be the only thing most people can afford.

Now that the Supreme Court has given the green light for corporations to buy elections, we'll soon have a permanent Republican majority. Once that happens, don't expect anything from the government except more wars (waged by mercenaries) and lots of (privatized) prisons.

Let me assure you Officer Don that you will certainly prosper in this brave new world. You might have to switch uniforms for one with a Blackwater logo and take a pay cut, but you can always solicit "donations" from the community you're protecting. Donuts, coffee, gas for the patrol car, and more, all supplied free by grateful members of the community who want to keep on your good side. And I guarantee that you'll have ironclad job security. No longer will you have to look over your shoulder and worry about human rights activists, liberal judges, civilian review boards, police brutality charges, etc. For anyone in the security business, it's going to be paradise.


To protect and serve, without restraint

Praise Jesus!
Brother Fred

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

Thank you for 'busting' that little whore, Ofc. Turtles attempting to play "leap frog" with those big, heavy shells are in defiance of God's Law of Nature and Gravity. NOT an approved sight for any Decent Child. I Hope you maced the little atheist as well

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

II was starting to suspect maybe he was actually trafficking drugs

As your Moderator, I advise you to continue these hands-on checks, Ofc. These drug-traffickers get more crafty all the time

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 27, 2010

Well today was a first, and I've seen a lot. Somebody called the police to report that a high schooler was caught looking at pornography at the library.

I insisted I take the call. I'm very good with kids.

I arrived at the library in record time. It didn't take long to figure out who the pervert in question was. She was being guarded at her computer by the senior librarian.

"Thank the Lord you've arrived Officer! Just look what I caught Emma-Sue looking at!"

It was a sickening picture, which I took note of promptly:



Apparently, the little harlot was doing "research" for a "biology paper" for a rogue teacher about reptiles, and had brought up this image from the internet in a Christian library!

This gives you some idea as to what liberals want to teach our children. Instead of just talking about the Great Flood, Six Day Creation and bogus fossils, this teacher was basically encouraging kids to go out and have unprotected sex, because, hey, we're just "evolved animals" aren't we?

I issued a fine to the 10th grader and she was sent home to her parents to explain. The teacher is going to have a lot to answer for when she goes before the board. I wouldn't want to be her.

[Bob4God]

Re: Policing Freehold

I've had deliveries from this Shane character, I was never impressed. I think he's a nancy boy, every time he delivers, my dog, Thrasher, bites at his ankles and growls at him, and Shane just prances around and squeals like a girl.

I wasn't sure I even wanted the pizza after that, I was scared it had AIDS. I didn't tip.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Policing Freehold

I think it's time that punk Shane got fired. His boss could hire an illegal alien for less than half the minimum wage. And if the beaners give you any lip, you just call the immigration people and that problem gets solved real quick.

Praise Jesus!
Brother Fred

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Policing Freehold

I see I'm not the only one in Freehold to have a run-in with that little punk. About two weeks ago, I was having a "witnessing party" with a couple of unsaved girls from the University of Iowa while my wife was out of town visiting her sister. I ordered some pizza for all of us, and then went back into the indoor swimming pool area where the three girls were gathered in the hot tub.

I got in there with them to make myself more comfortable and I was explaining to them how 1 John is a guide to becoming a Christian and why. Well, our conversation got pretty in depth, and I realized I lost track of time. I looked at my watch. It was 45 minutes since I ordered the pizza!

I excused myself and wrapped a towel around me. When I got into the house to retrieve my cell phone, I could hear the security buzzer going off. As you know, there is an automatic gate at the front of my mansion. Turns out that slacker Shane was there. I opened up the gate and he drove up to my front door.

I opened up my door and yelled at him: "What the hell took you so damn long?". He did that insincere politeness thing and said: "Sir, I've been here for 15 minutes pressing the buzzer. I guess you didn't hear it." I took that as a slick insult to my age and retorted: "I may be 69 years old but my hearing works fine, punk." He gave me the pizzas, which were a bit cold.

"Because of you, these pizzas are cold and I'm not paying for any cold pizzas. Take these back, and bring me back some hot ones. And be on time!" I chided him.

Sheepishly he said, "Yes, sir" and drove back to the pizza place. 30 minutes later he came back with hot pizzas as well as a free order of breadsticks and a 2-liter of soda. "My manager said sorry for the inconvenience so we are giving you some breadsticks and soda for free." he told me.

"Well, that's the least you could do." I glared at him. He just stood there. "I'm not paying for these pizzas by the way. Nor do you get a tip. Let this be a lesson learned, you lazy slacker!" and I slammed the door on his face.

Thank you Officer Don for keeping tabs on this miscreant. That kid is always up to no good.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Policing Freehold

When he got back in the car, I asked him if he had gotten in trouble at work for carrying a knife. He said that his boss reprimanded him and if it happened again, he'd get fired. His boss would be doing this town a favor.

Hm, that boss obviously is an idiot. Should have fired that brat already. Can't you quote some vague food rule violations to his boss to help him realize he should fire the boy?

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

TUESDAY, JANUARY 26, 2010

Guess who I pulled over today? Everybody's favorite pizza delivery punk, Shane. (What a queero name.) Caught him speeding (6 MPH over) and stopped him.

He seemed to be pretty nervous, I know he recognized me.

"You're in a big hurry there. Where's the fire?"

He was momentarily stunned and didn't respond till I banged on the roof of his car and said "Hello!?"

"Uh, this order is already ten minutes late!" Like that was going to impress me?

"You should have left with it earlier then, shouldn't have you?"

"Well, um, actually the cooks messed it up once and it had to be re-done, Officer, sir."

I failed to see how that was my problem.

"I fail to see how that's my problem" I told him.

He didn't respond he just looked at the clock in his dash.

I decided to take pity on him.

"Okay Shane, here's what I'm going to do for you. I will do a ride-along, and monitor your driving. If you do a good job -better than the one you did for your first driving instructor, I'm sure- then I won't write you a ticket."

"Oh, I'm, uh, not allowed to have passengers."

"Do I look like a passenger? I am an Officer of the Law!"

With that I opened his passenger seat, told him to move the pizzas to the back seat, and climbed on in.

Once we started moving, I reminded him to come back this way so that I could retrieve my patrol unit.

He was doing fairly well, except for being ultra-nervous. Hands shaking, eyes darting about. He stayed right at the speed limit which upset me. People who drive right at the speed limit are showing a disregard for public safety.

During the commute to 1103 W. Ark, I decided to unbuckle my seat belt, turn around and see just what it was he was in such a hurry to "deliver." I was starting to suspect maybe he was actually trafficking drugs, and that's why he was so nervous.

I opened up the carrying bags and started opening the pizza boxes. The first one was a meat lover's. I picked a few toppings off and sampled them. They tasted normal, I don't think it was one of those marijuana pizzas you hear about. I ate a few more, and closed the box. I would wait and see if I got high.

Nothing happened, even after we sat in traffic at a red light for five minutes. Nobody was saying anything.

I turned around again and opened up another pizza box. This one was a plain cheese. It would be difficult to sample without ruining the pizza. I hadn't thought to bring my drug testing field kit.

I decided the best course of action would be to pinch some of the crust off, and pinch a bit of cheese off and eat those together.

Again, they tasted normal. Yet if there was a very little trace amount of drugs, I wouldn't taste anything different. That got me to thinking that if there was a trace amount, it might take more to actually get me high and therefore bust this punk for drug trafficking.

The only other thing in the box was a salad. It wasn't likely there would be drugs in a salad. I hate salads anyway. I decided it would be prudent to eat a couple of croutons off the salad.

When we reached the house, I had eaten a lot of the ingredients and nothing had happened, so there was nothing I could do to stop him from selling the pizza.

I stayed in the car when he went up to the door. I thought it'd be a good time to dig through his car some more.

I didn't find anything, and I checked his special hiding spot in the sun visor. No weapons.

He was disgustingly cheery to the customer. Smiling, said thanks, said "have a great day," all that stuff that druggies do to convince you that they're clean.

When he got back in the car, I asked him if he had gotten in trouble at work for carrying a knife. He said that his boss reprimanded him and if it happened again, he'd get fired. His boss would be doing this town a favor.

I never did get to write him a ticket, but I made up for it by having him pull over at one point so I could catch a jaywalker and fine them.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

Brother Buford, I noticed there was no mention of where the nigra stole the Dew from. Was it nigra on nigra hate crime, hence the cover up?

Brother James, it saddens my heart to acknowledge that it's entirely possible there were nigra police officers involved. How we can allow them to wear the uniform that should be reserved for white people - as God intended - only goes to show how far down the hole the liberals have sunk our once great nation.

And just look at who is our president!

Freeing the slaves was a tragic, historical mistake. None of this ever would have happened if that Jew-bastard Abraham Lincoln hadn't stole the presidency with the help of ACORN.

Our only hope now is that God will finish what He started with the AIDS epidemic, which fortunately kills only fags and negroes.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

This Jan. 13, 2010 photo released
by Terez Miles shows her son Jordan
Miles at the hospital in Pittsburgh.
Miles was charged on Jan. 13 with
assault and resisting arrest.

...A bottle of Mountain Dew can be a very dangerous weapon...

Particularly down the throats of savages. Because we all know what "Mountain Dew" is a euphemism for

[James Hutchins]

Re: Policing Freehold

Brother Buford, I noticed there was no mention of where the nigra stole the Dew from. Was it nigra on nigra hate crime, hence the cover up?

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

Brother Officer Don,

Have you seen this darkie lurking in the back streets of Freehold?


This Jan. 13, 2010 photo released
by Terez Miles shows her son Jordan
Miles at the hospital in Pittsburgh.
Miles was charged on Jan. 13 with
assault and resisting arrest.

He was beaten by righteous plainclothes police officers and arrested because he was carrying a bottle of Mountain Dew inside his coat pocket. Now the liberals are pissing and moaning about this, and the police officers have been "reassigned." There is an investigation under way. The darkie's mother is threatening to sue - she's claiming that it was a case of racial profiling.

Full story can be found here.

This is just outrageous! A bottle of Mountain Dew can be a very dangerous weapon. Plus, it was being carried concealed. Did the Negro have a permit to carry a concealed weapon? Of course not! And as for that swollen eye in the photo, I bet he stuck himself in the eye by accident with a cocaine spoon while snorting.

Well, this incident occurred in Pittsburgh, a liberal east coast city, with a large negro population. That's a long way from Freehold, but on the other hand, these criminals tend to spread out and target good white Christian folks in the suburbs. I hope you will study this guy's face - he could show up in Freehold at any time with his concealed Mountain Dew, to stalk white women, rob little old ladies, or work for ACORN. I trust that if he does, he will not show the leniency that the Pittsburgh police officers shamefully did.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford