[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Policing Freehold

I don't know Officer Borders personally, but all I can say is that I don't want some bleeding-heart liberal on the force who is afraid to use his nightstick and taser, or waterboard prisoners during interrogations. It's time we stopped coddling criminals. Thanks to the commie Supreme Court, criminals think that they got "rights." Well, far as I'm concerned, the only "right" they got is to choose between the gas chamber, electric chair or a firing squad! What our whole country needs is a crackdown/cleanup campaign. It's time we started getting tough with fags, beaners, darkies and other terrorists. As Ronald Reagan used to say, "You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs."

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

"All the animals come out at night - whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.."

From a conversation I had recently with Ofc. Richards, after his 17th cup of coffee.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

I don't know Officer Borders personally, but all I can say is that I don't want some bleeding-heart liberal on the force who is afraid to use his nightstick and taser, or waterboard prisoners during interrogations. It's time we stopped coddling criminals. Thanks to the commie Supreme Court, criminals think that they got "rights." Well, far as I'm concerned, the only "right" they got is to choose between the gas chamber, electric chair or a firing squad! What our whole country needs is a crackdown/cleanup campaign. It's time we started getting tough with fags, beaners, darkies and other terrorists. As Ronald Reagan used to say, "You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs."

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Policing Freehold

I for one am proud to have signed the petition to suspend Officer Borders. I'll have you know too that at our Breakfast Buffet we had after our morning services today, I had no less than 200 of our fellow Landover Baptist Church members sign it. Ever since that fiasco at the CVS where he let that meth-making lady go scot-free, Officer Borders has proven himself time and time again that he is inept doing police work and not Christian enough for the job.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

PETITION FOR SUSPENSION OF OFFICER BORDERS

Hi everyone, I am circulating this petition around Freehold and the FPD to get Officer Borders suspended without pay for advocating divorce as a legitimate fix for broken relationships.

During his last domestic disturbance call, Borders told an arguing couple who had verbally attacked one another that it might be a good time to consider "working out a compromise, or getting a divorce."

This is cleary against 1 Corinthians 7:10-11:

10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:



11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.


Officer Borders did not even tell them not to remarry if they DID get divorced, which they shouldn't.


We, the people and guardians of Freehold hereby demand that Officer Borders be suspended for no less than four weeks without pay.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

Well THIS is a surprise. What happened? Did you actually grow a pair of testicles?

The FPD isn't like your sissy precincts in the other parts of the country. Vigorous training and grueling memorization of scripture are required to pass. Think you can handle that, maggot?

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

Sweet JESUS. Here's "Fatha" Hines, masquerading as an Officer of the Law again.



A bit early for Hellyween, isn't it, Fatha?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The GOOD COP is back!

Hello everyone! I know what you're thinking, but I am no longer on speaking terms with that vile ring-kisser of an older brother Tom!

As far as faith goes, I am a FREE AGENT right now (mainly because I found out my diocese is giving part of its donations to an Alynskian "Human Development" group). So with that, I don't know who to trust.

(side note: since I'm no longer with my old church, what would it take for me to join Officer Richards-who I apologize for insulting earlier while I was still drunk off Tom's brew-in his crusade to bring true JUSTICE back? He could use an ally in "good cop-bad cop" interrogations, anyway)

What would it take for me to study with your LBC group? I look forward to my name going up on the Wall of Converts you have in your sports-arena-sized worship space!

Praise Jesus! We are happy to welcome you into God's favorite forum. I've been praying hard for you for months now, in the hope that you would break with the papist cult.

Shout Glory!!

[Offcr. Albert Martin]

The GOOD COP is back!

Hello everyone! I know what you're thinking, but I am no longer on speaking terms with that vile ring-kisser of an older brother Tom!

As far as faith goes, I am a FREE AGENT right now (mainly because I found out my diocese is giving part of its donations to an Alynskian "Human Development" group). So with that, I don't know who to trust.

(side note: since I'm no longer with my old church, what would it take for me to join Officer Richards-who I apologize for insulting earlier while I was still drunk off Tom's brew-in his crusade to bring true JUSTICE back? He could use an ally in "good cop-bad cop" interrogations, anyway)

What would it take for me to study with your LBC group? I look forward to my name going up on the Wall of Converts you have in your sports-arena-sized worship space!

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

Well the FPD has an entire file cabinet full of witch strip-search pictures. Generally we try to photograph the same witches each year so we can keep a running file on them.

I can make some photocopies for you pastors and church security officers if you want.

That's good, but please make them color photocopies. Those black & white ones make it difficult to see some of the witch marks.

Praise Jesus!
Brother Buford

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

Well the FPD has an entire file cabinet full of witch strip-search pictures. Generally we try to photograph the same witches each year so we can keep a running file on them.

I can make some photocopies for you pastors and church security officers if you want.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Policing Freehold

The innocent won't mind.

Quite right, Pastor. As true conservatives know, the innocent have nothing to hide. Only the guilty, and unelected liberal activist judges who twist the Fourth Amendment to coddle them, believe otherwise.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Policing Freehold

If she was fairly young and attractive (as most witches are), I think that a total strip search would have been called for. Not for any debauched reasons, but to check for witch marks, of course.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

True enough. During the witch hunting season, we can't be too careful. From now on, all suspicious women will be strip-searched for witch markings, with photographs, until further notice. The innocent won't mind.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2009

Well folks, you're not going to believe this! I was out by the highway again, just enjoying some donuts and coffee and this car goes by. It's going kind of slow and swerving a little just the like the car the day before, but I knew it wasn't.

I immediately began pursuit. I radioed the tags and it was registered to some woman I had never heard of, and dispatch said she didn't go to church as far as they knew.

Once the driver pulled over I approached with great caution. "What seems to be your problem," I asked.

The driver responded in a nervous and unsettled tone: "The Reptilians found me." I had no idea what she was talking about so I ordered her to explain.

Apparently, she honestly believed that a race of reptilian outer-space aliens had implanted a chip in her arm that was tracking her every move.

I was laughing so hard I could barely ask her if she seriously expected me to buy that load of crap. I wrote her a big fat ticket her for reckless and inattentive driving and told her to grow up and have some evidence of her abduction on-hand the next time she wants to convince somebody of her crackpot fantasies.

If she was fairly young and attractive (as most witches are), I think that a total strip search would have been called for. Not for any debauched reasons, but to check for witch marks, of course.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

You sure have good eyes, sweetie.

As soon as I saw the Wine I figured that either Don Bozo or JESUS would be along pretty soon

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2009

Well folks, you're not going to believe this! I was out by the highway again, just enjoying some donuts and coffee and this car goes by. It's going kind of slow and swerving a little just the like the car the day before, but I knew it wasn't.

I immediately began pursuit. I radioed the tags and it was registered to some woman I had never heard of, and dispatch said she didn't go to church as far as they knew.

Once the driver pulled over I approached with great caution. "What seems to be your problem," I asked.

The driver responded in a nervous and unsettled tone: "The Reptilians found me." I had no idea what she was talking about so I ordered her to explain.

Apparently, she honestly believed that a race of reptilian outer-space aliens had implanted a chip in her arm that was tracking her every move.

I was laughing so hard I could barely ask her if she seriously expected me to buy that load of crap. I wrote her a big fat ticket her for reckless and inattentive driving and told her to grow up and have some evidence of her abduction on-hand the next time she wants to convince somebody of her crackpot fantasies.