Losing weight with God's help

[John Creeser]

Hello again Brothers and Sisters.

Well I've been gone again for a little while but with good reason. I couldn't help but to notice that the general consensus of the forum was that fatties are not looked upon well in the Lords eyes. I had to change this, I had to change me.

You may have noticed I have removed my picture. That bulbous bloated man is no more. Well, I'm getting there with the help of the Lord.

I started by lifting a single KJV bible, then two (over my head, arm curls, etc). Eventually getting into prayer squats. Long story short, it's working!!! From my nearly 300 lb mass I have shed 50 lbs.

As when I came here and you all suggested I change my name from Jon to John (which I did), I am getting that much closer to God with every fat molecule I lose.

And it's all thanks to you!!! Wanted you to know.

When I get to my holy target weight, I'll post a new pic of a changed man.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Losing weight with God's help

Hello again Brothers and Sisters.

Well I've been gone again for a little while but with good reason. I couldn't help but to notice that the general consensus of the forum was that fatties are not looked upon well in the Lords eyes. I had to change this, I had to change me.

You may have noticed I have removed my picture. That bulbous bloated man is no more. Well, I'm getting there with the help of the Lord.

I started by lifting a single KJV bible, then two (over my head, arm curls, etc). Eventually getting into prayer squats. Long story short, it's working!!! From my nearly 300 lb mass I have shed 50 lbs.

As when I came here and you all suggested I change my name from Jon to John (which I did), I am getting that much closer to God with every fat molecule I lose.

And it's all thanks to you!!! Wanted you to know.

When I get to my holy target weight, I'll post a new pic of a changed man.

Bless you in Christ Brother John!

The biggest reason we were concerned with your substantial bulk is that it may interfere with procreating soldiers for Jesus. As a Christian, you are well aware that only one Godly position is to be used when reproducing for Him. I need not describe this. As well, you know it is your duty in Christ to keep the woman perpetually with child.

Your shear mass concerned us for a couple of reasons: First, your own health. A man of your size could not possibly have the stamina to keep the babies coming once every nine months. This is clear by your initial inability to lift more than a pound over your head more than once. Second, the health of your wife. The woman can only tolerate so much dead weight before she loses interest, and even refuses participation in "that" act.

We are proud of your goal of reduction in girth for Him. In Him, all things are possible!

Praise Jesus Christ!

[John Creeser]

Re: Losing weight with God's help

Thanks for your words of encouragement.

And yes, the wife is not all that big, I often have to hold a mirror over mouth after "the deed" is done just to make sure she is breathing.

I'll be adding new soldiers to God's holy army in no time.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Losing weight with God's help

God Bless you and your efforts, friend. God hates fatties you know.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Losing weight with God's help

Try chopping firewood.

[Lisa H]

Re: Losing weight with God's help

Have you tried fasting with your exercising

Matthew 4:2 And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.

Luke 4:2 Being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered.

Deuteronomy 9:9 When I was gone up into the mount to receive the tables of stone, even the tables of the covenant which the LORD made with you, then I abode in the mount forty days and forty nights, I neither did eat bread nor drink water:

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Losing weight with God's help

Have you tried fasting with your exercising

Matthew 4:2 And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.

Luke 4:2 Being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered.

Deuteronomy 9:9 When I was gone up into the mount to receive the tables of stone, even the tables of the covenant which the LORD made with you, then I abode in the mount forty days and forty nights, I neither did eat bread nor drink water:

Look, you lesbanian slut, we don't want to kill him. He needs his Godly protein to serve his woman for Christ.

Can you at least cover your sinful flesh? Might YOU try fasting from your wicked sin of the fleshly folds?

Walk with Jesus or fry!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Losing weight with God's help

The most effective way I found to lose weight is prayer. Don't worry much about dieting or exercise, just as long as you have faith that God can burn that fat for you. If God can heal people with The AIDS, cancer, diabetes, strokes, etc., then why couldn't He do a simple thing like make you lose 10 lbs?

But, if you like to exercise, I have the thing for you. A while back I released my own exercise video: Sweatin' to the Old Testament with Rev. Jim Osborne. It was received very well in the True Christian(tm) community. I personally know a lady who lost 5 lbs over 18 weeks using my video. It's that good.

[John Creeser]

Re: Losing weight with God's help

Thanks again!!

Rev Osbourne, I'll email you my credit card information. I was unaware of your DVD. Please feel free to add an extra $60.00 as a donation to the church.

God Bless

[John Creeser]

Re: Losing weight with God's help

Look, you lesbanian slut, we don't want to kill him. He needs his Godly protein to serve his woman for Christ.

Can you at least cover your sinful flesh? Might YOU try fasting from your wicked sin of the fleshly folds?

Walk with Jesus or fry!

Thank you for clearing that up brother. My wife and I both need me keeping those energy levels up.

[TheDrunkenScot]

Re: Losing weight with God's help

Thanks again!!

Rev Osbourne, I'll email you my credit card information. I was unaware of your DVD. Please feel free to add an extra $60.00 as a donation to the church.

God Bless

Kiss every cent on your card goodbye, and enjoy that huge overdraft.
Sucker.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Losing weight with God's help

Kiss every cent on your card goodbye, and enjoy that huge overdraft.
Sucker.

You don't make any sense at all, how can you overdraft a credit card?

[John Creeser]

Re: Losing weight with God's help

Kiss every cent on your card goodbye, and enjoy that huge overdraft.
Sucker.

Drunk and a Scot...clearly destined to burn in the white hot flames of hell.

I've already sent my credit info to the good Reverend, and I know that I can trust him. He is a member of Landover and that is good enough for me.

Why do you hate so much? This is a forum dedicated to God and God's love.

Let Jesus into your heart brother.

[John Creeser]

Re: Losing weight with God's help

You don't make any sense at all, how can you overdraft a credit card?

Meh...doesn't matter, he's bound for hell.

[Nobar King]

Re: Losing weight with God's help

I have a few pounds I could afford to lose. I'm going to have to give up Coors light and tasty pie, but I'm not sure how soon that's going to happen!