[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Libtard in a Hot Air Ballon

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican.

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama-Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are -- or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault.

[see_the_light]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A cat-a-lic priest is in church, a young gorgeous, ravishing woman approaches

"will you hear my confession?"
"yes my dear"
"well father, i'm crazily in love with you, i have the most lustful dreams of what I would do if you said but one word"
"my dear, that is satan tempting you, 3 hail marys and 10 our fathers"
"yes priest"

next day

"father, i want to caress each inch of you, i want to lick taste every part, I want you now"
"my dear, satan is the cause , 15 hail marys and 50 our fathers"

next day
she shows up with a coat, opens it and there she is, young, a body to die for, sexy, lustful, she says

"father f*ck me right now!"

the priest, trembling, takes a few steps bakwards, turns to the cross and says:

"CHRIST! What should I do?"


And a voice from the crucified christs

"TAKE THIS MOTHERF*KING NAILS OFF, TAKE THEM OFF!"

[John C. Coleman]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A bus full of nigras going over a cliff.

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. "Oh, den I uses the last names."

Why do decent white folks shop at nigra yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.

[John C. Coleman]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

An Irish man walks out of a bar...

[arthur frayn]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

An illegal alien, radical Muslim, hippy Christian, atheist, communist, fascist, radical black, self loathing white man, wimp, homosexual, child predator, rape crazed man walks into a bar. "What will you have Mr President?" the bartender asks.

Down in Alabama, the bartender would say, properly,

"All of you, GET OUT"

[A Follower]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

My name be Eboneesha Hernandez, a African-Hispanic-American Girl who jus got a award for bein the bess speler in class. I gots a 47% on the spelin text and 38 points for being black, 10 points for not bringin drugs to class, 10 points for not bringin guns to class, and 15 points for not getting pregnut during the cemester. It be hard to beat a score of 120%.

White dude sit nex to me is McGee from Jaxon Mizipy. He got a 94% on the text but no extra points on acount of he have the same skin color as the opressirs of 150 years ago. Granny ax me to thank all dimocrafts and liberuls for suportin afermative axion. You be showin da way to true eqwallity.

I be gittin in medical skool nex an mabe I be yo doctor since Barrac takn over da healfcare in dis contry.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

An illegal alien, radical Muslim, hippy Christian, atheist, communist, fascist, radical black, self loathing white man, wimp, homosexual, child predator, rape crazed man walks into a bar. "What will you have Mr President?" the bartender asks.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do the Blacks Say?

[arthur frayn]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Guy walks into a bar, has a parrot on his shoulder. Bartender says 'Hey, thats really neat! Where'd you get that?'












Parrot says 'Ireland, they're all over the place'

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Oh, ho ho ho!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.
The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished, the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished, the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished, the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies, " Since Obama took over, the country’s gone to hell, so it's a local call."

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

I heard a couple of good ones I'd like to share.

What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?

..................A bisexual.




Mohammed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said, “I heard you were planning to leave me?”

She replied, “Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!”

Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds, “that's a mighty big word for a 6 year old."

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What does a wiccan do after he dumps his girlfriend?









Answer...









Wipe his butt

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What does a joo with an erection get when it runs into a wall?



A broken nose.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do God-hated Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?









ANSWER...









Polaroids!