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  • Dr. Anthony J. Toole
    An old soul
    True Christian™
    • Aug 2013
    • 4827

    #811
    Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

    Mrs. Moans, I would remind you this is a family forum and that the topic is GOOD, CLEAN, CHRISTIAN JOKES. Your recent, uh... posts contain none of those things even though you included the "laugh" emoji. Time to visit the closet?

    If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

    Comment

    • Dennis Lukes
      Innkeeper for Christ
      True Christian™
      • Dec 2018
      • 2376

      #812
      Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

      I'm with Dr. Toole, the jokes about men's genitals are offensive and it needs to stop right now. You women have no idea what it feels like to have people joking about and demeaning and objectifying your body parts like we men face every time we walk out on the street or turn on a TV.

      Shut your trap and get back in the kitchen.
      I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
      Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
      But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
      From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

      Comment

      • Dana723
        Forum member
        Forum Member
        • Oct 2017
        • 771

        #813
        Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

        Originally posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
        I'm with Dr. Toole, the jokes about men's genitals are offensive and it needs to stop right now. You women have no idea what it feels like to have people joking about and demeaning and objectifying your body parts like we men face every time we walk out on the street or turn on a TV.

        Shut your trap and get back in the kitchen.
        I would never presume to correct a True Christian, but I always believed a dickie was an item of clothing. More specifically, a type of false shirt that's worn to give the impression of a full shirt. I'm not sure a small dickie would be something to be embarrassed about as long as the dickie covers the nakedness of the man. In fact, when I asked my husband about small dickies, he stated that there's nothing wrong with a small dickie, as it's not the size that matters but the way it's used. I'm a little confused about that though, but he refused to answer any more questions about it.
        Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
        1 Corinthians 11:13

        Comment

        • Dr. Anthony J. Toole
          An old soul
          True Christian™
          • Aug 2013
          • 4827

          #814
          Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

          What do you call a fish with no eyes?

          A fsh.
          If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

          Comment

          • Isabella White
            True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
             
            • Mar 2019
            • 4276

            #815
            Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

            Originally posted by Dana723 View Post
            I would never presume to correct a True Christian, but I always believed a dickie was an item of clothing. More specifically, a type of false shirt that's worn to give the impression of a full shirt. I'm not sure a small dickie would be something to be embarrassed about as long as the dickie covers the nakedness of the man. In fact, when I asked my husband about small dickies, he stated that there's nothing wrong with a small dickie, as it's not the size that matters but the way it's used. I'm a little confused about that though, but he refused to answer any more questions about it.
            Oh, dear Dana: Perhaps your husband's statement about the way a dickie should be used means that the dickie should be worn with the label at the back, and under a shirt, not over it. I'm sure that this information should solve the confusion within your happy household.

            A blessed day to you, dear Dana,
            Sincerely, Isabella W.
            (Mrs.) Isabella White

            Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

            Comment

            • arthur frayn
              Unsaved trash
              • Dec 2013
              • 87

              #816
              Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

              They say there's safety in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews!
              Apò toû hēlíou metástēthi

              Comment

              • Dr. Anthony J. Toole
                An old soul
                True Christian™
                • Aug 2013
                • 4827

                #817
                Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                Originally posted by arthur frayn View Post
                They say there's safety in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews!
                I don't understand. Is it a reference to Israel (6.6 million Jews + 2 million non-Jews)?

                Religious makeup, 2019
                Group Population %
                Jews 6,697,000 74.2%
                Muslims 1,605,700 17.8%
                Christians 180,400 2.0%
                Druze 143,000 1.6%
                Other/unknown 394,900 4.4%

                Surely there is safety in numbers by eliciting the support of the USA which has 6.6 million nukes!
                If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

                Comment

                • Basilissa
                  South of the Border outreach program
                  True Christian™
                   
                  • Mar 2013
                  • 12906

                  #818
                  Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                  Q: What are the Bahamas?
                  A: A sh**hole country.
                  Q: Why did hurricane Dorian stay there for a week?
                  A: God has flushed the toilet!
                  God created fossils to test our faith.

                  * * *

                  My favorite LBC sermons:
                  True Christians are Perfect!
                  True Christian™ Love.
                  Salvation™ made Easy!
                  You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                  Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                  Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                  Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                  Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                  The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                  Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                  God HATES Rational Thinking!
                  True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                  Comment

                  • Dennis Lukes
                    Innkeeper for Christ
                    True Christian™
                    • Dec 2018
                    • 2376

                    #819
                    Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                    Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                    Q: What are the Bahamas?
                    A: A sh**hole country.
                    Amen, sister.


                    Jesus usually hates socialist welfare, but it looks like He made an exception this month by providing free swimming lessons to thousands of niglets.
                    I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
                    Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
                    But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
                    From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

                    Comment

                    • Dennis Lukes
                      Innkeeper for Christ
                      True Christian™
                      • Dec 2018
                      • 2376

                      #820
                      Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                      I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
                      Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
                      But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
                      From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

                      Comment

                      • Isabella White
                        True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
                         
                        • Mar 2019
                        • 4276

                        #821
                        Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                        (Mrs.) Isabella White

                        Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

                        Comment

                        • Emily Brent
                          Rocks For Brains, Unsaved trash, hopelessly weird
                          • May 2013
                          • 111

                          #822
                          Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                          I learned this one at the convent ---

                          what do you call a hermaphrodite with a fused poopie-hole and vajayjay profusely bleeding?

                          a semi-colon followed by a period.
                          No spoose should be more attractive than the other - that way, no one is satisfied, and the marriage can be happy.

                          Comment

                          • Isabella White
                            True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
                             
                            • Mar 2019
                            • 4276

                            #823
                            Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                            Originally posted by Emily Brent View Post
                            I learned this one at the convent ---

                            what do you call a hermaphrodite with a fused poopie-hole and vajayjay profusely bleeding?

                            a semi-colon followed by a period.
                            Dear above! Miss Brent, I don't think that that "joke" is appropriate for . I must remind you that this is a family-oriented site, and we do strive to bring honor and praise to the in all that we do here at .

                            Perhaps, in future, you can post jokes that do not involve "potty" humor, such as this nice, clean joke:

                            Q: Why were Gentiles created? A: Somebody has to pay retail.

                            Sincerely, Isabella W.
                            (Mrs.) Isabella White

                            Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

                            Comment

                            • Dennis Lukes
                              Innkeeper for Christ
                              True Christian™
                              • Dec 2018
                              • 2376

                              #824
                              Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                              Originally posted by Isabella White View Post
                              Dear above! Miss Brent, I don't think that that "joke" is appropriate for . I must remind you that this is a family-oriented site, and we do strive to bring honor and praise to the in all that we do here at .

                              Perhaps, in future, you can post jokes that do not involve "potty" humor, such as this nice, clean joke:
                              AMEN! I don't know how these gutter-mouthed degenerates keep finding this Godly forum! They sorely need to be reminded of Ephesians 4:29!
                              I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
                              Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
                              But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
                              From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

                              Comment

                              • Dennis Lukes
                                Innkeeper for Christ
                                True Christian™
                                • Dec 2018
                                • 2376

                                #825
                                Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

                                What do altar boys have in common with light bulbs?

                                Priests love screwing in the new ones.
                                I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
                                Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
                                But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
                                From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

                                Comment

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