[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

Who do we need to talk to about plowing down the trees and putting in paved roads? How on Earth do these poor savages get from place to place having to trek through twigs, dirt, snakes and bugs? It can't be healthy for them.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

I was cleaning out my truck last night, I have 200 Carmen Miranda hats to donate now. In addition I have about 3,000 used car tires I'd like to give.
Lastly I have 100 cases of Purell (slighyl leaking) and some WWII anitboitics to give

My kids want to donate their model of "The Bridge over River Kwai' made of over 5,000 popsicle sticks. I think my kids lips will be purple for a long time.

Private to wait_what: Please PM me about the oxycodone and methotrexate. We need to talk.

[Little Donkey]

Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

This tribe has probably missed out on Obama's green revolution of the past couple years. So I am ordering them one of these wind turbines which are going cheap right now. Plus a couple of smallpox infected nice warm blankets.

[Titus Templeton]

Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

I could use one of them for my garden.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

Come to think about it, that place would make an excellent spot for one of Brother Monty's factories. Lot's of wood and lot's of cheap labor in the area.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

I could use one of them for my garden.

A wind turbine or a tribe member? I would totally be willing to pay one of those little fellers to take care of my garden and do chores. He could sleep in the garage.

[HTannor]

Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

...I would totally be willing to pay one of those little fellers to take care of my garden and do chores. He could sleep in the garage.

While your idea has merit, we should approach it with caution.

I'm thinking the little spade would need to go through a quarantine period to insure he isn't carrying some sort of jungle disease or parasites.

On second thought, the quarantine would probably be in Florida and who really cares what happens there. After all, they have all sorts of pests such as alligators, pythons, monitor lizards, poisonous spiders, and Cubans running all over the place, so the odd Brazilian coon shouldn't be that big a deal.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

I hadn't considered immigration issues. I certainly don't want to be hiring no illegal alien! I know they can come here legally if an American marries them, but what's the deal if you just purchase them outright? Is it a similar situation? I would think that once I bought a person, I'd have the legal right to bring them into the country, wouldn't I?

[HTannor]

Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

I know they can come here legally if an American marries them, but what's the deal if you just purchase them outright? Is it a similar situation? I would think that once I bought a person, I'd have the legal right to bring them into the country, wouldn't I?

That's a tricky question Miss Machine.

From time to time, I receive e-mails that provide me the opportunity to liaise with certain persons of eastern European extraction in hopes of holy matrimony (I must admit they seem to be comely lasses) but I tend to be cautious in my approach.

One of them, Svetlana, was blond of hair and blue of eye, and we exchanged a great deal of correspondence. Sadly, when I provided my bank account numbers, nearly $18 disappeared from that account. I'm sure there is a thief in that bank and hope the person is punished to the fullest extent of the law.

I even showed up at Des Moines International Airport waiting for her to disembark from the flight, but I waited in vain. A later email assured me she was the victim of international intrigue. I personally blame the British MI-6 unit and hope they choke on their crumpets.

Anyway, Miss Machine, don't trust the warlords in Brazil, they'll break your heart.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

Judge Tannor, I suspect this "Svetlana" may not have been completely trustworthy. Did she have her father's permission to be writing to you? Did a Baptist pastor vouch for her?

Anyway, I think I may have inadvertently given you the impression that I was a "Miss" with all that marriage talk. Just to be clear, I am a male, and was certainly not considering marrying one of those little Brazilian jungle boys.

The only foreigner I would consider marrying would be the lovely María Gálvez-Villalobos, but I feel I must first get my financial situation in order so that I can afford to bring her whole family over here.

[wait_what]

Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

I thought I would add to my donation,

60 x 50 gallon barrels of ether
200 kilograms of pharmeceutical grade ephedra
20 x 50 gallon barrels of iodine
20 x 50 gallon barrels of 10 M Sodium Hydroxide
60 x 50 gallon barrels of methanol
60 x 50 gallon barrels of sodium hypochlorite (household bleach)
200 kilograms of red phosphorous

All of the commensurate glassware

Combined with my previous shipment, these strong little buggers should be hauling out all of the ore and timber we need to support bringing them out of the stone age.

I think I may even double that and look into processing of native plants.

Is anybody who is already there familiar with what coca and ayahuasca plants look like? Just wondering.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

Praise Jesus! Our good friends at Popeye's Fried Chicken have graciously agreed to donate 1,000 coupons for a free side order (when ordering a family sized bucket) to bring down to these coons. I'm sure they'll be happy as can be, and will be that much more willing to give their worthless brown lives over to Jesus.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

I thought I would add to my donation,

CRYSTAL METHAMPHETAMINE RECIPE DELETED

Friend, this is a family forum.