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  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708

    #16
    Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

    Who do we need to talk to about plowing down the trees and putting in paved roads? How on Earth do these poor savages get from place to place having to trek through twigs, dirt, snakes and bugs? It can't be healthy for them.
    sigpic

    Tweet me Here
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    • James Hutchins
      True Christian™
      Just a Regular Nice Guy
       
      • Jun 2009
      • 29453

      #17
      Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

      I was cleaning out my truck last night, I have 200 Carmen Miranda hats to donate now. In addition I have about 3,000 used car tires I'd like to give.
      Lastly I have 100 cases of Purell (slighyl leaking) and some WWII anitboitics to give

      My kids want to donate their model of "The Bridge over River Kwai' made of over 5,000 popsicle sticks. I think my kids lips will be purple for a long time.

      Private to wait_what: Please PM me about the oxycodone and methotrexate. We need to talk.
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

      Comment

      • Little Donkey
        Forum Member
        • Oct 2010
        • 498

        #18
        Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

        This tribe has probably missed out on Obama's green revolution of the past couple years. So I am ordering them one of these wind turbines which are going cheap right now. Plus a couple of smallpox infected nice warm blankets.

        Comment

        • Titus Templeton
          Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
          Jesus macht frei
          True Christian™
          • Aug 2010
          • 5912

          #19
          Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

          I could use one of them for my garden.
          -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
          -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
          -Holocaust Jokes
          -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
          -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
          -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
          -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
          -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!

          Comment

          • Daisy Mae Johnson
            The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
            Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
            aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 15708

            #20
            Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

            Come to think about it, that place would make an excellent spot for one of Brother Monty's factories. Lot's of wood and lot's of cheap labor in the area.
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            • Faith_Machine
              Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Mar 2011
              • 10050

              #21
              Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

              Originally posted by Titus Templeton View Post
              I could use one of them for my garden.
              A wind turbine or a tribe member? I would totally be willing to pay one of those little fellers to take care of my garden and do chores. He could sleep in the garage.
              WARNING:
              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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              • HTannor
                America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
                True Christian™
                • Jun 2009
                • 2612

                #22
                Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

                Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                ...I would totally be willing to pay one of those little fellers to take care of my garden and do chores. He could sleep in the garage.
                While your idea has merit, we should approach it with caution.

                I'm thinking the little spade would need to go through a quarantine period to insure he isn't carrying some sort of jungle disease or parasites.

                On second thought, the quarantine would probably be in Florida and who really cares what happens there. After all, they have all sorts of pests such as alligators, pythons, monitor lizards, poisonous spiders, and Cubans running all over the place, so the odd Brazilian coon shouldn't be that big a deal.
                The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

                "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

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                • Faith_Machine
                  Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Mar 2011
                  • 10050

                  #23
                  Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

                  I hadn't considered immigration issues. I certainly don't want to be hiring no illegal alien! I know they can come here legally if an American marries them, but what's the deal if you just purchase them outright? Is it a similar situation? I would think that once I bought a person, I'd have the legal right to bring them into the country, wouldn't I?
                  WARNING:
                  In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                  REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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                  • HTannor
                    America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
                    True Christian™
                    • Jun 2009
                    • 2612

                    #24
                    Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

                    Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                    I know they can come here legally if an American marries them, but what's the deal if you just purchase them outright? Is it a similar situation? I would think that once I bought a person, I'd have the legal right to bring them into the country, wouldn't I?
                    That's a tricky question Miss Machine.

                    From time to time, I receive e-mails that provide me the opportunity to liaise with certain persons of eastern European extraction in hopes of holy matrimony (I must admit they seem to be comely lasses) but I tend to be cautious in my approach.

                    One of them, Svetlana, was blond of hair and blue of eye, and we exchanged a great deal of correspondence. Sadly, when I provided my bank account numbers, nearly $18 disappeared from that account. I'm sure there is a thief in that bank and hope the person is punished to the fullest extent of the law.

                    I even showed up at Des Moines International Airport waiting for her to disembark from the flight, but I waited in vain. A later email assured me she was the victim of international intrigue. I personally blame the British MI-6 unit and hope they choke on their crumpets.

                    Anyway, Miss Machine, don't trust the warlords in Brazil, they'll break your heart.
                    The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

                    "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

                    Comment

                    • Faith_Machine
                      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Mar 2011
                      • 10050

                      #25
                      Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

                      Judge Tannor, I suspect this "Svetlana" may not have been completely trustworthy. Did she have her father's permission to be writing to you? Did a Baptist pastor vouch for her?

                      Anyway, I think I may have inadvertently given you the impression that I was a "Miss" with all that marriage talk. Just to be clear, I am a male, and was certainly not considering marrying one of those little Brazilian jungle boys.

                      The only foreigner I would consider marrying would be the lovely María Gálvez-Villalobos, but I feel I must first get my financial situation in order so that I can afford to bring her whole family over here.
                      WARNING:
                      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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                      • wait_what
                        Forum Member
                        Forum Member
                        • Mar 2011
                        • 592

                        #26
                        Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

                        I thought I would add to my donation,

                        60 x 50 gallon barrels of ether
                        200 kilograms of pharmeceutical grade ephedra
                        20 x 50 gallon barrels of iodine
                        20 x 50 gallon barrels of 10 M Sodium Hydroxide
                        60 x 50 gallon barrels of methanol
                        60 x 50 gallon barrels of sodium hypochlorite (household bleach)
                        200 kilograms of red phosphorous

                        All of the commensurate glassware

                        Combined with my previous shipment, these strong little buggers should be hauling out all of the ore and timber we need to support bringing them out of the stone age.

                        I think I may even double that and look into processing of native plants.

                        Is anybody who is already there familiar with what coca and ayahuasca plants look like? Just wondering.
                        The best way to turn a dishwasher into a snowblower. . . . .
                        Give her a shovel.
                        Proverbs 5:19 A husband's commandment! And wives must comply.
                        19Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

                        Comment

                        • Pastor Ezekiel
                          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                           
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 78555

                          #27
                          Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

                          Praise Jesus! Our good friends at Popeye's Fried Chicken have graciously agreed to donate 1,000 coupons for a free side order (when ordering a family sized bucket) to bring down to these coons. I'm sure they'll be happy as can be, and will be that much more willing to give their worthless brown lives over to Jesus.
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                          • Faith_Machine
                            Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                            True Christian™
                            • Mar 2011
                            • 10050

                            #28
                            Re: Emergency Mission to Save Amazon Tribe!

                            Originally posted by wait_what View Post
                            I thought I would add to my donation,

                            CRYSTAL METHAMPHETAMINE RECIPE DELETED

                            Friend, this is a family forum.

                            WARNING:
                            In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                            REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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