Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

My wife went out with the girls Wednesday night for a wedding shower and never made it home. It has now been three days and I'm suspecting that she may have been raptured. I also suspect that I narrowly missed the rapture myself due to a slight backslide in my homosexuality. I was going to watch a Ray Comfort/ Kirk Cameron video and I accidently put in a copy of "glory holes" instead. Well one thing led to another and I back slid a bit. I was planning on making a trip to the alter next Sunday and straighten it out with Jesus, but I possibly missed out and got left below!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

My wife went out with the girls Wednesday night for a wedding shower and never made it home. It has now been three days and I'm suspecting that she may have been raptured. I also suspect that I narrowly missed the rapture myself due to a slight backslide in my homosexuality.

It's good you are considering the rapture as a possible explanation for what has happened to you, Yea. I, myself, have not noticed anything like that.

But, we know it is coming any day now and all of us need to report what we are seeing. It has always been my understanding the big rapture appearance would be in Freehold. We have to be open minded to the possibility it could be somewhere nearby, however.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

The Rapture has not occured, though it is clearly at hand.

The End is near.

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

I've been on tenterhooks watching this, because it took so long for the first reply to appear that I was afraid that Brother Yea and I were the only ones left behind!

Is your wife back yet, Brother? Sounds as though there might be some chastising to do when she returns.

YiC
AW

[Jack Rankan]

Re: Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

Well, if two of True Christian™ members are still here, then the Rapture didn't happened. Yet. Everyone knows that a True Christian™ will be the first one to be raptured.

[lukasekman]

Re: Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

No, the Rapture haven't occurred, although the U.S. Department of Family Values have officially declared Rap-Con level 2. Uncertainties like this stresses that we need a True Christian™ president and exorcist in charge who can communicate the end time events. This might be the last chance for the unsaved to turn straight, stop being left-handed, stop watching porn and start spanking kids.

The Rapture is the most important event in human history, and the liberals keep distract us with Jenny McCarthy, Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieder and celebrity affairs.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

My wife went out with the girls Wednesday night for a wedding shower and never made it home. It has now been three days and I'm suspecting that she may have been raptured. I also suspect that I narrowly missed the rapture myself due to a slight backslide in my homosexuality. I was going to watch a Ray Comfort/ Kirk Cameron video and I accidently put in a copy of "glory holes" instead. Well one thing led to another and I back slid a bit. I was planning on making a trip to the alter next Sunday and straighten it out with Jesus, but I possibly missed out and got left below!

Brother, I appreciate very much your spiritual-mindedness and courage in confessing something publicly that brings you great shame. But remember that...

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. (I Cor. 10:13)

You succumbed to sin, but thereafter repented, which puts yet another star in your crown. Might I suggest going through the old DVD collection again (preferably with a member of the church to avoid any other lapses) and make sure additional volumes of Glory Holes are removed? (see Matthew 6:13) If I remember right, there are IX full-length feature presentations in the series. It is imperative that you make sure every one of them is given to a Pastor for safe keeping and analysis.

As far as your wife is concerned, I really hope she has turned up. If not, you might consider that perhaps something else has happened to her and begin trying to find out what. It appears that all of the Godly are still around.

In His Mighty Grip,

Pastor Ed

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

The End is near.

That is your answer to a 'backsliding' homosexual? The original poster should be more concerned with the rupture if he keeps up this kind of sinning.

The poor man needs a little time in the confessional and his wife, by all accounts, has decided to give up her marriage to her wandering husband and who could blame her!

Obviously these folks are not getting what they need spiritually from the 'preachers' of the Baptwit Church and are in real need of time well spent as good Catholics. I suggest they both drop by any of our numerous locations and seek the guidance of one of our men of faith before they both end up as playthings for Satan and his minions.



Bless you, my sedentary rock coverer,
Father Mo




.

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

That is your answer to a 'backsliding' homosexual? The original poster should be more concerned with the rupture if he keeps up this kind of sinning.

The poor man needs a little time in the confessional and his wife, by all accounts, has decided to give up her marriage to her wandering husband and who could blame her!

Obviously these folks are not getting what they need spiritually from the 'preachers' of the Baptwit Church and are in real need of time well spent as good Catholics. I suggest they both drop by any of our numerous locations and seek the guidance of one of our men of faith before they both end up as playthings for Satan and his minions.



Bless you, my sedentary rock coverer,
Father Mo




.

Yes, and we all know exactly what guidance you, and your kiddy fiddling colleagues, would give -

Father Mo: 'Bend over and brace yourself, my son"

Please take your perverted ways somewhere else, I am here to coverse with fellow Christian men and don't need your idle wittering to sully my day.

P.S. Should you not be at mass praying to your statues and groping the altar boys?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

Yea! We're still here with you! And you needn't worry about this kind of thing for three whole days! You can check out the live camera at the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem where Jesus is expected to return ANY DAY NOW! Here is a link where you can watch what's going on this very moment!

http://www.daystar.com/israel/live/

Two of America's biggest evangelical Christian broadcasters have stationed cameras on a hill overlooking Jerusalem, ready to cover the return of Jesus Christ from the Mount of Olives as predicted in the Bible, should any such event occur soon.

Texas-based Daystar Television Network was first to install a 24/7 camera from its terrace overlooking the Mount of Olives, and now Costa Mesa-based Trinity Broadcasting Network has bought the building next door, allowing it the same opportunity. The Mount of Olives, a mountain ridge east of Jerusalem, is rooted both in Jewish and Christian traditions, and is where Jesus is said to have preached to his disciples and later ascended to heaven, according to Acts chapter one.

Read more at http://global.christianpost.com/news...XvCY2ZtTfuh.99

As you can see, no one is responding in a way befitting a LORD descending from the Heavens with a sword in His mouth, accompanied by an army from outer space (Revelation 19:11-21), so your wife should be back soon, unless the LORD called her home.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

That is your answer to a 'backsliding' homosexual? The original poster should be more concerned with the rupture if he keeps up this kind of sinning.

The poor man needs a little time in the confessional and his wife, by all accounts, has decided to give up her marriage to her wandering husband and who could blame her!

Obviously these folks are not getting what they need spiritually from the 'preachers' of the Baptwit Church and are in real need of time well spent as good Catholics. I suggest they both drop by any of our numerous locations and seek the guidance of one of our men of faith before they both end up as playthings for Satan and his minions.



Bless you, my sedentary rock coverer,
Father Mo




.

You are as likely to find a man of God in a Roman church franchise as you are to find haute cuisine in a McDonalds.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

The poor man needs a little time in the confessional and his wife, by all accounts, has decided to give up her marriage to her wandering husband and who could blame her!

I suggest they both drop by any of our numerous locations and seek the guidance of one of our men of faith
Bless you, my sedentary rock coverer,
Father Mo

I don't want to pretend I'm Sherlock Holmes, but I think we can see Father Mo knows where this man's wife is and who she is with.

Whenever a Catlick Priest says to a wife, "Come on over and I'll make you happy," you have to wonder.

[Evul Dumon666]

Re: Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

There is no Rapture! You fools must join the Cult of Hell Demons! Join before Satan chars you black!!!!

[WWJDnow]

Re: Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

If you just sign up for youvebeenleftbehind.com, you'll get an email as soon as the rapture happens. Not that I've bothered, since all of my friends and family and I are already saved, so nobody would get those emails, anyway.

[Basilissa]

Re: Does anyone know if the rapture happened last Wednesday?

If you just sign up for youvebeenleftbehind.com, you'll get an email as soon as the rapture happens. Not that I've bothered, since all of my friends and family and I are already saved, so nobody would get those emails, anyway.

That is a very interesting website, Brother! One thing that bugs me, though, who will send these emails after the Rapture? Do they keep a Jew webmaster or something?