[Lisa H]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

I am not a witch. Now, I notice you keep ignoring my questions. Why don't they just block the bullet? Please don't resort to name calling. I prefer to be treated like a HUMAN BEING here for a change

I never said you were a witch. I said you must be a witches plaything and gave my reason. So are you a witches toy boy.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

I am not a witch. Now, I notice you keep ignoring my questions. Why don't they just block the bullet? Please don't resort to name calling. I prefer to be treated like a HUMAN BEING here for a change

Because our bullets are delivered by the Will of God(c).

And because Wicca is stupid and magic doesn't work.

[logicalthinker]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

because Wicca is stupid and magic doesn't work.

So you guys admit that magic doesn't exist? You're not the only ones who can butcher quotes, you know...

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

So you guys admit that magic doesn't exist? You're not the only ones who can butcher quotes, you know...

We admit no such thing.

When God commands it, magic is fine.

Num.21:8-9
And the LORD said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole:and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live. And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived.

When others do it, He condemns them to eternal damnation.

Dt.18:10-11
There shall not be found among you any one ... that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch. Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

And did these witches come here WILLINGLY? I thought you guys just said in a different thread that you DIDN'T kidnap people and let them loose in the woods to shoot at your leisure.

There is no leisure involved in the Witch Hunt. It's hard work, with valuable prizes for the winners!

However, people from Landover do not "kidnap" anybody. TermiWix™ is a privately-held vermin removal company. TermiWix contracts with private individuals and municipalities across the nation to eliminate witch and Satanist infestations.

TermiWix does not initiate a trapping-and-removal program without permits from the local jurisdiction. The detention facility is located on annexed land outside Freehold proper for access to the top True Christians(tm) in the country, in the hope of saving these poor souls from damnation.

On the subject of witches, when you DO shoot at them, why don't they use voodoo magic or something to BLOCK THE BULLET?

Simple, because their magic doesn't work unless Satan wants it to.

Satan doesn't want their magic to work to block bullets, because if it did, then everybody would take magic (and Satan, and therefore God and Salvation) seriously. His greatest trick is making people believe he's not real.

So you guys admit that magic doesn't exist?

Nope. But I will tell you that a witch is someone who practices witchcraft. It doesn't require being successful at it to be a witch.

TermiWix doesn't go out hunting down witches or accusing people of witchcraft. They declare themselves to be witches nowadays, and TermiWix is called in to remove them.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

Um..... what are we supposed to do with the wounded ones?

I went out to take care of the dogs today and found three locked in a kennel. I'm not sure what Seth wants done with them. After the last time I walked into his man cave, I'm not going to do that again unless he's been in there for three days.

I threw them a cup of kibble each and some water, but other than that....

[Sister Rebecca]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

Husband has already bagged us 7 of the nasty critters! I'm hoping when the final flood is ummm... escapes on All Satan's Eve (Helloween of course) that he'll do a right fine job of nabbing us at least as many as Brother Jedediah. I heard he holds the all-time record. Is that true or just gossip? I really should know because if it is just gossip I need to pray extra hard for forgiveness for listening to wagging tongues.

[Annie1]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

Brothers and Sisters I'm really scared right now. I was out walking the dogs in the early hours of this morning when a witch jumped out of the forest behind my house! I'm so glad that I had the dogs with me because I let them off their leashes and they chased it down. Praise God.

Psalm 37:28 - For the LORD loveth judgment, and forsaketh not his saints; they are preserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.

They killed the one that tried to get me but Rex kept barking at the woods and I think there are more back there. I ran home and told my pa and he and my brothers are going out hunting this afternoon.

I wish we lived somewhere safer

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

Brothers and Sisters I'm really scared right now. I was out walking the dogs in the early hours of this morning when a witch jumped out of the forest behind my house! I'm so glad that I had the dogs with me because I let them off their leashes and they chased it down. Praise God.

What were you doing out unescorted?

It seems that last week's horde of witches has been rather elusive, if there are still some around. Well, Luke over at TermiWix has good news for the less-able hunters.

This week (Yes, it's FRIDAY!), TermiWix will release a selection of 10 individual (not coven-associated) practitioners of witchcraft. These obese basement-dwellers should be easy targets. They don't move fast, they rarely go outdoors, and will probably only waddle in circles once they lose sight of the TermiWix facility.

Remember that kills within a half-mile radius of the facility do not count, and all witches are tagged and monitored. No cheating!

Yes, we know. Yes, I mean you. Check with Mayor Hold, and you'll see that your score was reduced. If you do it again, you'll be disqualified and all your points given to Kassandra, Witch on a Bender.

[Annie1]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

What were you doing out unescorted?

Well I didn't want to wake up my brothers or my dad, that would be rude... and the walking path behind mt house is usually safe. I had my two huskies with me though so that's sort of like being escorted

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

If anyone wants a permit, I have one going spare. James Barley will not be participating this year. I regret to inform you that it appears that James had hoarded 15 witches in his barn and has been disqualified.

Despite the best attempts of Bobby-Joe and The Boys to prevent any accident befalling Barley in his moment of shame, his liefless body was found hanging by the neck from The Old Bridge.

The cause of death seems to be 2 gunshot wounds to the head, although the matter of 2 broken legs is also being looked into.

There will be an estate sale on 4th November to cover the costs of the autopsy.

[James Dewitt]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

I have a question. I am flying Phebe to Minnesota for a doctors visit on Saturday. Can I hunt witches up there? I am not sure how long we will be there, and I hate to fall behind, as it is Cranky has 18 and I only have 16.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

If anyone wants a permit, I have one going spare. James Barley will not be participating this year. I regret to inform you that it appears that James had hoarded 15 witches in his barn and has been disqualified.

Brother Ezekiel, I've been informed by Luke that those 15 witches have been remanded to TermiWix's custody, where they will be fed properly, allowed to rest, and given the opportunity to turn to Jesus before the Final Horde Release Helloween weekend.

It is interesting that, as the month has progressed, more of TermiWix's charges have come to Jesus. Almost five percent! I think they may be getting news of the hunt from the outside somehow.

Many thanks to the DeWitts for sponsoring the Home for the Recently Saved in Freehold. It will take some time to get the building constructed, but I'm sure the ex-witches will be comfortable in the yurts this winter.

They will also rest secure, what with the beautiful 8-foot wrought iron fence. I love how your architect specified that green-finished razor wire with the metal "leaves" on it. It looks like a beautiful vine twined along the top of the fence, a scene out of "The Secret Garden" or something!

Well, except where that one witch trying to break in got stuck in the razor wire and learned the leaves were just as sharp; that part of the fence looks more like a scene from "Little Shop of Horrors".

I guess the Halloween decorating is done?

[Seth Campbell]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

I have a question. I am flying Phebe to Minnesota for a doctors visit on Saturday. Can I hunt witches up there? I am not sure how long we will be there, and I hate to fall behind, as it is Cranky has 18 and I only have 16.

He's up to 18 now? Sheesh, I've only got 6, and three of those were woundeds. Of course this is my first season and I don't know the territory as well as some of the more seasoned hunters. Then there was that little issue of being sent on a wild goose chase the first weekend... yeah, yeah, very funny.

[James Dewitt]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

He's up to 18 now? Sheesh, I've only got 6, and three of those were woundeds. Of course this is my first season and I don't know the territory as well as some of the more seasoned hunters. Then there was that little issue of being sent on a wild goose chase the first weekend... yeah, yeah, very funny.

I know its some kind of sick joke that they play on new people. Last year they told me to go snipe hunting first and use the snipe for bait. Spent all damn night in that field. One of these days I will get Cranky for that joke!