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  • #31
    Re: Spring Heeled Jack's Crime Log

    Originally posted by Spring Heeled Jack View Post
    October 9, 2010: 7:30pm

    The streets have been quiet lately, but as a crime-fighter like myself comes to learn very fast: there's always a calm before the eye of the storm.

    From my vantage point in the bushes outside the Randal house I was afforded a perfect view into their dining room this evening, and I watched as they sat down to dinner. Window into a perfect American household, or a view to a crime? After their prayer little Johnny, aged 10, asked Mr. Randal if he could have a sip of wine. Mr. Randal, completely disregarding the underaged drinking laws in this state, agreed, and let little Johnny drink a thimblefull.

    As the final drop of wine slid down Johnny's throat and he drunkenly stumbled back to his chair I kicked their front door down and stood in the front walkway. Mrs. Randal screamed and Mr. Randal grabbed a metal candle holder and stood ready to strike me with it. "Underaged drinking is a serious offense. I'm gonna have to take you in," I bellowed. "And I don't want to hear any... whining!" I then threw a net on Mr. Randal and dragged him out of the house as his wife hid in the closet with the children. I threw his worthless butt in the back of my crime-fighting car and drove him to the slammer. I left him in a fat law-breaking heap outside the back door and drove off wondering how much longer the people of this town are going to have to put up with crime like this before a real sheriff is ready to step up and clean up the streets.

    November isn't too far away, Officer Richards.

    What were you doing in the bushes perving into windows of peoples houses. What kind of depraved thoughts were racing through your mind. No wonder Mrs Randal and her son where hiding in fear. Mr Randal was trying to protect his family when you kidnapped him.
    Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
    Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
    Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
    Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
    Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
    Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

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    • #32
      Re: Spring Heeled Jack's Crime Log

      Pardon me, Limp-Wristed Jackoff, but no Iowa state law was broken.

      Iowa
      - No one under the age of 21 is allowed to consume or posses alcohol, unless at a private home when the parent or guardian gives it to his/her child or ward and the said parent or guardian is present (supervising).
      As you described, Mr. Randal, in his private home, gave alcohol to his child and was present, supervising.

      I believe you now must turn yourself in for kidnapping, since your "citizen's arrest" was based on a law that does not exist.
      Bible boring? Nonsense!
      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

      Comment


      • #33
        Re: Spring Heeled Jack's Crime Log

        Originally posted by Spring Heeled Jack View Post
        October 9, 2010: 7:30pm

        The streets have been quiet lately, but as a crime-fighter like myself comes to learn very fast: there's always a calm before the eye of the storm.

        From my vantage point in the bushes outside the Randal house I was afforded a perfect view into their dining room this evening, and I watched as they sat down to dinner. Window into a perfect American household, or a view to a crime? After their prayer little Johnny, aged 10, asked Mr. Randal if he could have a sip of wine. Mr. Randal, completely disregarding the underaged drinking laws in this state, agreed, and let little Johnny drink a thimblefull.

        As the final drop of wine slid down Johnny's throat and he drunkenly stumbled back to his chair I kicked their front door down and stood in the front walkway. Mrs. Randal screamed and Mr. Randal grabbed a metal candle holder and stood ready to strike me with it. "Underaged drinking is a serious offense. I'm gonna have to take you in," I bellowed. "And I don't want to hear any... whining!" I then threw a net on Mr. Randal and dragged him out of the house as his wife hid in the closet with the children. I threw his worthless butt in the back of my crime-fighting car and drove him to the slammer. I left him in a fat law-breaking heap outside the back door and drove off wondering how much longer the people of this town are going to have to put up with crime like this before a real sheriff is ready to step up and clean up the streets.

        November isn't too far away, Officer Richards.

        I tried to hire you for my son's birthday last month, you didn't even have the decency to reply. You work for Obama, don't you

        I was hoping that you would try to kidnap my child in a prank at the party.

        PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

        Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

        Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?

        Comment


        • #34
          Re: Spring Heeled Jack's Crime Log

          I'm really glad you brought this to my attention. I am going to have to check out the security footage captured on our cameras out back and see if we can't get a make, model, and license plate on the "crime-fighting vehicle."

          Thanks for the tip.
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