The REAL Reason why "father" Martian Disappeared

[Pastor Ezekiel]

As you all know, the papist dog "father" Martin recently announced that he was leaing our Christian forum for good. Many of us rejoiced at the news, but he was (typically) obtuse about the specifics of why he was leaving. This thread is open for you to post your theories, visions and/or investigations into exactly where he went and why he went there. Pay no attention to this meter maid "officer" Martian and his lame attempts to cover for his "brother."

I'll start.

My money says that the mary worshiping "father" in in prison for molesting altar boys again.

[Talitha]

Re: The REAL Reason why "father" Martian Disappeared

I've had my "people" looking out for possible sightings.
Apparently he's been doing Pope-e-likee appearances like this one...............



It's not a "Con-firmed" sighting as yet.

[Dr. Otto Bond Sr.]

Re: The REAL Reason why "father" Martian Disappeared

I heard he was taken back to Rome for "re-training" because of this post:

I think you should have somebody play the harmonica...

Everyone knows the popish can't stand good harmonica music!

[Wide-Open]

Re: The REAL Reason why "father" Martian Disappeared

Personally I think he was an Al Qaeda member spying on us. He's now back to Pakistan for more training, and I'm sure he'll be back.

No real cathlyck would spend so much time on a board where most of the participants are 12+.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

My money says that the mary worshiping "father" in in prison for molesting altar boys again.

Can the Roman institution no longer afford retaining high-powered defense lawyers and buying off witnesses in order to get Major Tom out of the slammer? You'd think that His Unholiness Pope Ratfaced could just put a few of his fabulous dresses on eBay to get the money.

I've had my "people" looking out for possible sightings.
Apparently he's been doing Pope-e-likee appearances like this one...............

[ATTACH]3721[/ATTACH]

It's not a "Con-firmed" sighting as yet.

Pope tarts? Is that what the Romanist fish-heads call their especially prized altar boys?

[SUV]

Re: The REAL Reason why "father" Martian Disappeared

"Martian"

If this Word is a veiled clue, Pastor Ezekiel -

Perhaps he called the Mother Ship and it has returned for him. You know how these cathylicks must have their "anal probes"

[Sister Noddy]

Re: The REAL Reason why "father" Martian Disappeared

As you all know, the papist dog "father" Martin recently announced that he was leaing our Christian forum for good. Many of us rejoiced at the news, but ...

... My money says that the mary worshiping "father" in in prison for molesting altar boys again

See? I coulda told you he was nothing but a beadfinger!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: The REAL Reason why "father" Martian Disappeared

I heard he was taken back to Rome for "re-training" because of this post:



Everyone knows the popish can't stand good harmonica music!

My source did mention music. Apparently "father" Martin can't polka, which is a pretty serious sin among Catholics, bizarrely consider a worse offense that altar boy molesting. When his parishioners found they rose up in during one mass and bet him senseless. The Catholic church has him in hiding now.

[Nobar King]

Re: The REAL Reason why "father" Martian Disappeared

I heard that his archdiocese sent him to Mexico to be a missionary. He has to live in the storage room of a Mexican grade school. Well, he'll have lots of friends!

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: The REAL Reason why "father" Martian Disappeared

a worse offense that altar boy molesting.

I didn't think that they even considered that on offense.

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: The REAL Reason why "father" Martian Disappeared

My money says that the mary worshiping "father" in in prison for molesting altar boys again.

Since when do they go to jail?

My guess if he was reassigned to a new haven of woman worship and bead counting. Someplace without an internet connection which may indicate he buggered some poor child he meet on the internets. Wouldn't surprise me one bit if he shows up on Dateline NBC. Although no doubt the Catlick "Church" would arrange to have his face blotted out. I'll be looking for a pedophile with his face censured in the coming months.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: The REAL Reason why "father" Martian Disappeared

I reckon that Mr Martin was employed at $100 a soul he converted to the Mother of Harlots, as his hourly rate throughout has been $0, he’s been redeployed on selling indulgences.

[Marshall]

Re: The REAL Reason why "father" Martian Disappeared

He hates Jesus and wants to go to Hell so he can hang around with all the past Popes in the Sodomy Chamber. The easiest way to do that is to renounce Landover Baptist and Christ.

[JennyD]

Re: The REAL Reason why "father" Martian Disappeared

I didn't think that they even considered that on offense.

I believe Brother BJ made a typo. He meant that not being able to polka was a greater sin amongst Catlicks than NOT molesting altar boys.

My theory?

I believe Mother Martian isn't a priest, or even truly male. I believe, in fact, that Mother Martian is an atheist drag queen from eastern Kentucky, who frequently dresses up in a nun's habit with a Dolly Parton wig, high heels, and black fishnet stockings. She wanders from parish to parish, spanking altarboys and performing other horrific acts of depravity.

As for why she left Landover?

Simple. She was spending too much time on her half-assed defense of her "faith" -- always incomplete and Wikipediaesque -- and it was cutting into her molestation time. Or at least that's what Officer Martian said in his sleep on the phone last night.

[Nobar King]

Re: The REAL Reason why "father" Martian Disappeared

Either that or he was from Tennessee. Or Arkansas.