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Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?
I am so sorry. I drowned them as soon as the pastors counseled me to do so. However, I decided to make it a teaching moment and I made it into a Noah's Ark project for my children. The older children made some scale models of a seaside village while the younger kids dressed up their baby-dolls to be the village children. We took the model down to Landover Swim Club #3 one sunny day. (All the swim clubs are closed for the winter, but #3 leaves the water in for baptisms.)
I told my children that since Snowball, Mr. Meow Mix, and the others had behaved badly, the Bible clearly orders us to either stone them or drown them. Some kids started looking for pebbles immediately and were a tad disappointed when I called them back from the bushes and informed them that we would be drowning them. But when I told them that we would be using all the props they had built to recreate the Story of Noah and The Flood, they rejoiced.
With my seven children gathered around, I retold them the story of Noah and The Flood. They hung on every word as I described how God had decided that He had somehow messed up (as was His plan) and all of humanity and animality had become naughty save for eight good people. God told Noah to start building an ark and pack every animal kind in pairs to last a year. (Some people think it was 40 days and nights, but that was just the duration of the rain. The Ark was adrift for a whole year. Think of the miracles involved in keeping every species alive on a boat TOGETHER for a YEAR! God is truly Great!)
Then we put the mock village into the beach entrance part of the pool and put the kittens into a basket by the village. The basket has narrow slats on the side so we could clearly see the kittens inside and a lid that I had sealed shut. One of my littlest girls started crying when she realized her pets were about to drown slowly in front of her. She said she loved Mr Twinkle and Snowball and the rest and didn't want them to die. I pointed out to her that she was going against God and that she had better change her tune if she didn't want to go to Hell. She thought for a moment and with a visible shudder seemed to change, harden somehow, right in front of me. Her eyes grew narrow and her face turned almost vicious (if not for he two missing front teeth, I would have been scared!) and she pointed an accusing finger at the kittens and screamed at the top of her voice, "NAUGHTY KITTIES!! GOD WANTS YOU TO DIE AND GO TO KITTY HELL!!!" I thought to myself, "THIS is what True Christianity™ is all about...saving your children from the path to sin." I thanked God right then and there.
The rest was easy...we turned on the fill-pipe by the diving board and sat and watched as the water rose over the "village" and swept away the baby dolls we had dressed up as village children. Soon, it started to fill the basket. As the cats realized what was happening, they scrabbled over one another, fighting to get on top and breath from what little room was left. I must say that Princess had more fight in her than I had suspected, but in the end, it was Snowball who lasted the longest. He would push the other kittens down and stand on their heads till they stopped writhing in agony. By doing this, he created a little kitty corpse raft that he could float on. It was at least two-deep in limp kitten bodies and held him quite nicely.
While all of this was going on, I pointed out to my children the joy of what we were witnessing. I told them that THIS was exactly what it must have been for the millions of people that God drowned in the Flood. Women and children scrambling for high ground, not knowing how to survive. Parents screaming in terror as their children and babies were swept away form them or dragged under by currents and drowned right in front of their eyes. Children clinging to playthings as their parents' lifeless bodies kept them company on makeshift rafts of floating debris. God's love is so great that he was willing to start the human race over by wiping out the sinners.
Caroline, my youngest, asked, "Daddy, were there babies that God killed in the flood?"
"Of course," I replied.
"Were there little girls like me?"
"Absolutely!" I answered. "Anyone that was naughty!"
"Why did God kill them? Why didn't he just kill the naughty grown ups? How could little babies and children know what to do to make it so God wouldn't kill them? How could a two week old baby be evil?"
"God works in mysterious ways," I said. "But I know this: There were eight people who did everything God told them to do. Those eight people...those eight who never questioned God's laws...They lived... Everyone else died. Now....what should you do every day...every minute of your life?"
"Obey God?"
"Right! And where has God written down his rules?
"In the Bible!" she said, now grinning since she could tell she was giving me the answers that I wanted.
"Good girl!"
"I love you Daddy and I will do everything the Bible tells me to do. i don't want to drown like naughty Tabitha and Mr. Whiskers are!!!" the other children nodded in agreement.
After that, we sat and watched. Eventually, even the mighty Snowball had to succumb to the rising water. After he was floating limp, still on his raft of dead siblings, I had the kids gather the props and bag the bodies.
Heading home, I had to admit to myself that this was my proudest moment EVER of my life as a True Christian™ parent.
Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
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I told my children that since Snowball, Mr. Meow Mix, and the others had behaved badly, the Bible clearly orders us to either stone them or drown them. Some kids started looking for pebbles immediately and were a tad disappointed when I called them back from the bushes and informed them that we would be drowning them. But when I told them that we would be using all the props they had built to recreate the Story of Noah and The Flood, they rejoiced.
With my seven children gathered around, I retold them the story of Noah and The Flood. They hung on every word as I described how God had decided that He had somehow messed up (as was His plan) and all of humanity and animality had become naughty save for eight good people. God told Noah to start building an ark and pack every animal kind in pairs to last a year. (Some people think it was 40 days and nights, but that was just the duration of the rain. The Ark was adrift for a whole year. Think of the miracles involved in keeping every species alive on a boat TOGETHER for a YEAR! God is truly Great!)
Then we put the mock village into the beach entrance part of the pool and put the kittens into a basket by the village. The basket has narrow slats on the side so we could clearly see the kittens inside and a lid that I had sealed shut. One of my littlest girls started crying when she realized her pets were about to drown slowly in front of her. She said she loved Mr Twinkle and Snowball and the rest and didn't want them to die. I pointed out to her that she was going against God and that she had better change her tune if she didn't want to go to Hell. She thought for a moment and with a visible shudder seemed to change, harden somehow, right in front of me. Her eyes grew narrow and her face turned almost vicious (if not for he two missing front teeth, I would have been scared!) and she pointed an accusing finger at the kittens and screamed at the top of her voice, "NAUGHTY KITTIES!! GOD WANTS YOU TO DIE AND GO TO KITTY HELL!!!" I thought to myself, "THIS is what True Christianity™ is all about...saving your children from the path to sin." I thanked God right then and there.
The rest was easy...we turned on the fill-pipe by the diving board and sat and watched as the water rose over the "village" and swept away the baby dolls we had dressed up as village children. Soon, it started to fill the basket. As the cats realized what was happening, they scrabbled over one another, fighting to get on top and breath from what little room was left. I must say that Princess had more fight in her than I had suspected, but in the end, it was Snowball who lasted the longest. He would push the other kittens down and stand on their heads till they stopped writhing in agony. By doing this, he created a little kitty corpse raft that he could float on. It was at least two-deep in limp kitten bodies and held him quite nicely.
While all of this was going on, I pointed out to my children the joy of what we were witnessing. I told them that THIS was exactly what it must have been for the millions of people that God drowned in the Flood. Women and children scrambling for high ground, not knowing how to survive. Parents screaming in terror as their children and babies were swept away form them or dragged under by currents and drowned right in front of their eyes. Children clinging to playthings as their parents' lifeless bodies kept them company on makeshift rafts of floating debris. God's love is so great that he was willing to start the human race over by wiping out the sinners.
Caroline, my youngest, asked, "Daddy, were there babies that God killed in the flood?"
"Of course," I replied.
"Were there little girls like me?"
"Absolutely!" I answered. "Anyone that was naughty!"
"Why did God kill them? Why didn't he just kill the naughty grown ups? How could little babies and children know what to do to make it so God wouldn't kill them? How could a two week old baby be evil?"
"God works in mysterious ways," I said. "But I know this: There were eight people who did everything God told them to do. Those eight people...those eight who never questioned God's laws...They lived... Everyone else died. Now....what should you do every day...every minute of your life?"
"Obey God?"
"Right! And where has God written down his rules?
"In the Bible!" she said, now grinning since she could tell she was giving me the answers that I wanted.
"Good girl!"
"I love you Daddy and I will do everything the Bible tells me to do. i don't want to drown like naughty Tabitha and Mr. Whiskers are!!!" the other children nodded in agreement.
After that, we sat and watched. Eventually, even the mighty Snowball had to succumb to the rising water. After he was floating limp, still on his raft of dead siblings, I had the kids gather the props and bag the bodies.
Heading home, I had to admit to myself that this was my proudest moment EVER of my life as a True Christian™ parent.
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