Do Athiests have funerals?

[revrggreen]

This is something I have often wondered. Certainly, I have never been approached to perform a funeral service for an athiest before.

Athiests are such lonely angry hateful and bitter people, so I doubt they have many friends. I wonder if anyone actually cries when an athiest dies?

But can anyone tell me if athiests have funerals? Or do they just dump their bodies on a garbage dumb, or is there some sort of athiest human refuse area?

I am genuinely interested.

[Mad European]

Re: Do Athiests have funerals?

Atheists have cremations more, and have their ashes spread around places that mean something to them, like the river in their hometown for example. Allthough atheists may notbeleivein God, there are still usually elements of Christianity with theirfunerals, mainly through tradition. Thats in England though, it may differ from country to country.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Do Athiests have funerals?

Over here you have to buy a toxic waste sticker, stick it to the body, and then just put it outside with the rest of the trash. Many Belgicans however are too tight to pay for the sticker and just dump the bodies in the woods.

[revrggreen]

Re: Do Athiests have funerals?

Atheists have cremations more, and have their ashes spread around places that mean something to them, like the river in their hometown for example.Thats in England though, it may differ from country to country.

That's utterly disgusting! You mean when you're walking around in Godless England, you're actually breathing in the burnt remains of athiests? Yuck! No wonder God hates you people!

Hold on a second, you say that athiests have 'places' that mean something to them? You also mention the 'river'?? Why do athiests like the river so much? What is it about the river?

Maybe I don't know enough about athiests, but I always imagined they never left their own homes much, being so depressed with nothing meaningful to believe in.

[Nobar King]

Re: Do Athiests have funerals?

Please tell my survivors NOT to dump my remains in a RIVER!!!!!

PLEASE!!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Do Athiests have funerals?

Over in the boodist countries, they take your dead body and chop it up and feed it to the vultures.

Thank you Jesus for tapping me to be a True Christian™.

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: Do Athiests have funerals?

Why do atheists need funerals? They are dead inside already. Their philosophical and logical ignorance is rooted deeply in their foolish pride, about 1% of them understand the consequences of their BELIEF (yes, belief), the rest of them just think bashing God is fun or something, jealous heathens.

Oh well, that's what hell is for, I guess.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Do Athiests have funerals?

I always thought atheists eat their dead during mad cannibalistic orgies. You can bet no atheist has ever died peacefully in their bed.

[VictoryOS]

Re: Do Athiests have funerals?

I wonder if anyone actually cries when an athiest dies?

I cry when an atheist dies. I cry because it's another lost soul that we just couldn't save, and now their soul will live on for all eternity in the barbecue pits of Hell.

Why do athiests like the river so much? What is it about the river?

Perhaps it's a part of their souls crying out for baptism?

[Deaner]

Re: Do Athiests have funerals?

Why do athiests like the river so much? What is it about the river?

That's a good question. My Grandaddy found six of them in the river about ten years ago. They were all together in one spot and they had thrown rocks and used tires on top of themselves. Must be some kind of ritual.

[Don the Baptist]

Re: Do Athiests have funerals?

Atheists have cremations more, and have their ashes spread around places that mean something to them, like the river in their hometown for example.

What is that, like practice for what cometh next?

[Dark Angel]

Re: Do Athiests have funerals?

This is something I have often wondered. Certainly, I have never been approached to perform a funeral service for an athiest before.

Athiests are such lonely angry hateful and bitter people, so I doubt they have many friends. I wonder if anyone actually cries when an athiest dies?

But can anyone tell me if athiests have funerals? Or do they just dump their bodies on a garbage dumb, or is there some sort of athiest human refuse area?

I am genuinely interested.

Just because they don't believe in God does not mean they don't miss friends/family that have died and it doesn't mean their friends/family doesn't miss them.
They do have funerals, but whether or not a minister/pastor is either up to the person on their deathbed or in their will or it's up to their family.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Do Athiests have funerals?

Just because they don't believe in God does not mean they don't miss friends/family that have died and it doesn't mean their friends/family doesn't miss them.
They do have funerals, but whether or not a minister/pastor is either up to the person on their deathbed or in their will or it's up to their family.

I rather see the journey to Heaven starting at a grand railway station and my boarding the first class observation car, a place of deep comfort, extensive menu and wine list and panoramic views over God’s greatness. I will depart the way My Savior foretold.


My extensive family and friends will be joyous that I have been promoted to glory and revel in the happiness my soul will feel. They will sing hymns and give speeches of adulation to the Lord, Who gave me a happy life. They will depart refreshed in their faith.


For an atheist, it must be like fighting ones way through the Bronx on an unbearably hot and humid August morning in the rush-hour; arriving at some dingy hole out of breath, covered in sweat and with your trousers round your ankles. After being mugged by a posse of nigras, the atheist will find that all trains have been cancelled except one – a rusty steam driven piece of garbage manned by illegal immigrants and with a few derelict, wooden cattle trucks crammed with wailing souls.


Why you should thing that an atheist has friends, I don’t know. He probably knew a few people, who worshipped mammon, but they would see his body as a discarded apple core -- he is of no further use to them.


As far as his family is concerned, I should think that they would be celebrating that he was out of the way and would now be eagerly dividing the few meagre and worn-out possessions that he left behind and pulling out any gold fillings he might have had.

[Old Man Winter]

Re: Do Athiests have funerals?

John Lennon was not christian and loads of people cried at his funeral and he had many friends.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Do Athiests have funerals?

John Lennon was not christian and loads of people cried at his funeral and he had many friends.

All after his money, or get in on the media circus and see if there were any possessions to sell on Ebay...