[Bobby-Joe]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

Jeb, I called around as usual while you're away to check on those strange plants you're growing out back in that Barn. (Do you really need to leave the lights on night and day)?

Anyway, I couldn't get into the drive because the Fire Department seemed to have some kind of practice going on at your house. At least that's what I think it was?

That must be why they are sending that HazMat team in from Des Moines.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

That must be why they are sending that HazMat team in from Des Moines.

There's nothing to worry about, Jeb. Just keep doing your business tripping and stuff. Don't be distracted from the wonderful, awe-inspiring coolness of that stuff you're doing. You rock, Jeb.

Anyway, nobody could have predicted that your barbaque could explode. Sure, in hindsight anyone can claim they saw it coming, but their negativism isn't putting any flames out, is it?

And why is everybody ignoring all the good news? For example, your saltwater aquarium is in perfect condition, I just gave the fishes a can of fish food and they're sleeping off their meal right now. You should see 'em all, floating upside down, snoozing without a care in the world.

[Talitha]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

Wow Trent! I never realised an exploding Barbecue could take out so many windows
Anyway, it's really nice of you to ask me in for Dinner. those Smoked Fish were wonderful.

Don't worry Jeb, It's nothing that can't be mended.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

That thing cost 3,000 dollars, I hope you have a your credit card handy. All the info is here:

http://www.sweetdreambed.com/girlsgallery.htm

Do you not think you're being a little harsh on the old war hero here? I mean, without wishing to be insensitive or nuthin', it's not like Alice really cares that much one way or another right now. I say that in the nicest possible way, of course.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

Anyway, it's really nice of you to ask me in for Dinner. those Smoked Fish were wonderful.

YOU'RE DATING HIM?

Well, I guess that explains the broken bed.

Don't worry Jeb, It's nothing that can't be mended.

Well, I guess you've got me there, but only on a technicality.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

YOU'RE DATING HIM?

This is no time for rumors of sex scandals. In fact, this is no time for criticism of any type, whatsoever! There will be plenty of time to discuss this once the crisis is over. Let's not play the blame game over who trashed whose stuff. Let's focus on solving the problem.

With that in mind, those fishes were kind of boring anyway, how about lobsters in the aquarium instead? And a shipwreck? Aquariums always look great with shipwrecks. Besides, your scale model of the Mayflower hasn't been good for much else since the utterly unexpectable barbaque tragedy.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

With that in mind, those fishes were kind of boring anyway, how about lobsters in the aquarium instead? And a shipwreck? Aquariums always look great with shipwrecks. Besides, your scale model of the Mayflower hasn't been good for much else since the utterly unexpectable barbaque tragedy.

No lobsters, no shipwreck. Make it look the same way it was when you found it. Here's a picture in case you've forgotten:



Now, I'm thrilled to have you visiting and all, but what's your exact schedual? I'd like to know, how long you'll be visiting for. And,you know, when you're leaving. No big deal. Just a schedual, a timetable, if you will.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

Wow Trent! I never realised an exploding Barbecue could take out so many windows

A Barbecue! That's what Juan my gardener was babbling about on the phone.

Hey Jeb, your' barbecue, or part of it is my backyard now. Wow, I live like a 1/2 mile from from you. It get my boys to cart it off back to your place tomorrow.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

Hey Jeb, your' barbecue, or part of it is my backyard now. Wow, I live like a 1/2 mile from from you. It get my boys to cart it off back to your place tomorrow.

Yeah, it's the biggest BBQ I've ever seen. Wa the biggest BBQ I'd ever seen.

Don't worry Jeb, the repairs are all going according to schedual. Everything will be fine when you getback. Just keep on doing all that business stuff that you do in Bangkok - those Mohammed Soccer Balls don't build themselves!

Now, I'm thrilled to have you visiting and all, but what's your exact schedual? I'd like to know, how long you'll be visiting for. And,you know, when you're leaving. No big deal. Just a schedual, a timetable, if you will.

A TIMETABLE?!?!? I'm trying to recover from ahorrific injury here, and a timetable will only make the healing process longer and more painful. Why, if I left too soon there could be infections, amputated hands, I could die! You don't wantmeto die, do you Jeb? Do you?

Oh, one more thing, I saw a mouse. Is that normal?

[Talitha]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

YOU'RE DATING HIM?

Well, I guess that explains the broken bed.

Once again Brother Jeb you are reading things into an innocent visit and turning it into SMUT!!
Brother Trent is suffering from PTSD and you are just making it worse!
The bed getting broken was nothing more than a little "Horse-play" and for a short while it made a great Trampoline.
They don't make-em like thesy used to.

Don't worry Brother Trent, I know how you suffered and you have my full support and sympathy.
Tell you what, how about a bit of target practice out back? I see Jeb has a few of those old Statues left that he picked up in England.
Foreign rubbish.
I got my Desert Eagle's out in the Car

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

Trent, I don't mean to be impolite, but it IS customary to have some sort of plan as to when you're doing what, including leaving. I mean, if you're coming for lunch and leaving two-ish, that's one thing, but this is bigger than that.

And I have no idea where the mice came from. I've never had mice in my house.

And please, please, don't touch things if you don't know what they do or what they are there for. If you want to experient and push buttons and learn things the hard way, please use your own house. Please.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

Trent,

I don't know what make of your accusation that Frank Cownie is running a mouse farm on his property and he is sending his son Chuck Cownie to plant mice in Jeb's house. I don't think something like this has ever come up in the history of Freehold. However the opinion of a war hero must be listened to. I am going to send one of officers to inspect Frank's house. Is that acceptable for you?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

Trent, I don't mean to be impolite, but it IS customary to have some sort of plan as to when you're doing what, including leaving. I mean, if you're coming for lunch and leaving two-ish, that's one thing, but this is bigger than that.

And I have no idea where the mice came from. I've never had mice in my house.

And please, please, don't touch things if you don't know what they do or what they are there for. If you want to experient and push buttons and learn things the hard way, please use your own house. Please.

This entire situation is getting blown out of proportion! I am getting calls at all hours, and I am missing my nightly communion with JESUS!

So here is what is going to happen. Bobby- Joe, go search Trent's room for explosives or things he might have improperly brought in a diplomatic bag.

Talitha! Your fat ass womanly form is not designed to trampoline on Jeb's sleep number mattress. Take Trent out side and show him how to pick melons.....AND YOU BETTER HAVE HIM PICKING WATERMELONS, not those droopy things in your shirt.

Zeke....call the DOF and arrange for Trent to be admitted to Walter Reed Medical center until his wounds heal. Then he needs another tour in the Green zone. He makes BIG money there and his tithes have dropped to almost nothing since he has to replace Jeb's windows...and BBQ....and fish tank....and guest bed.

I have things to do here, people! I am about GOD's BUSINESS! I am not a damn secular contractor! GET THIS SETTLED, NOW!

Angry
Pastor Al

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

This entire situation is getting blown out of proportion! I am getting calls at all hours, and I am missing my nightly communion with JESUS!

Zeke....call the DOF and arrange for Trent to be admitted to Walter Reed Medical center until his wounds heal. Then he needs another tour in the Green zone. He makes BIG money there and his tithes have dropped to almost nothing since he has to replace Jeb's windows...and BBQ....and fish tank....and guest bed.

I have things to do here, people! I am about GOD's BUSINESS! I am not a damn secular contractor! GET THIS SETTLED, NOW!

Angry
Pastor Al

Done and double done, sir! I'll get him a bed in the "special unit" next to my uncle, Donald "Rummy" Rumsfeld. Real nice place, best of everything. They pipe your sermons into the unit 24/7, on account of uncle rummy being such a fan. I wager Brother Trent will be up and at 'em in no time flat.

Back to the front and 30 pounds lighter too! Sound good Brother Trent?

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!

Woah, woah, let's not get emotional here! Look, so some mistakes were made, some objects may or may not have been broken, and some of the grape juice in the wine cellar may or may not have evaporated....But some people need to move on with their lives, you know? Let's not dwell on the past here. Playing the blame game over yesterday's miscalculations won't solve today's problems.

I've managed to get a new loan, and have increased the limit on my credit card. The tithes are in the mail. Everything is getting cleaned up, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Did you know all this stress has weakened my immune system and caused my hand to become infected? And if you come over here, opening the door will let more mice in.

So whose side are you on?