Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

[Bob B]

I hopes manys fello' parishners get down an' join me in dis here important prayer...

"Dear Lawd,

I be righting this here prayer 'cause my ferver-ite Man o' God - Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart) done plain dis'perred offun the face of day offin dat nder FaceBook here a week er so ago!

So's I's wonderin'...did the Rapture take place en I got's left behind?

I'd knows he be a Godly man, a 'Stud fer the Lord', souse I ain't su-prised none that he'd done be one off'n der first to head on up to be in Little Baby Jesus's manly arms.

Er did he fin'ly take dat der trip to da Holy Land in Sotheast Asia to minister to dem lil Asian boys like he always done talked 'bout?

I nose y'all is busy smitin' and smottin' an' all, buts I hopes y'all will send us a sign 'bout our beloved Pastor (bless his heart), der be a pack of us who dun miss him somethan fear-ass or der on FaceBook. Even tha lil red-headed Patist girlie who don' noes how to proberly makes sammichs fer her menfolk does I' 'magine...who else wood listen to to her constant female yappin'? Besides, nows dat I don' spend my time readin' Pastor's words I haw's way too much time fer dem nasty porn sites an' y'all knows hows the debil's always temptin' me there! Of'n course y'all do, y'all knows evertang - dat's whys youse da Lawd, right Lawd?

Any ol' ways, I's prays dat youse sends us a sign day ar deer Pastor be safe 'en sound in Lil Baby Jesus arms or dem of some five dollar rent boy in Bangcock - yer will be done.

An' ifin it were der Rapture, when da Hell's the next bus?

Tell Lil Baby Jesus I said Howdy!

Yer humble serve ant,

Bother Bob B

Amen"

Y'all don' need da put dat part about "Brother Bob B" 'cause that be my name...

[James Hutchins]

Re: Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

Well Bob, that is quite a first thread. Tell me, Bob, what languge is that? I need to find a translator.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

He's probably Dutch...

[Larry Lee]

Re: Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

I'm concerned that Bob B. thinks our Pastor Zeke doesn't have things under control. It makes me wonder where such hate comes from.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

He's probably Dutch...

I'm a linguist and that's definitely not Germanic. Possibly not even Indo-European.

Could he be speaking in tongues? Ancient Sumerian? Might be the language of the ancient Canaanite town of Gibber.

Unsure.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

Hi, Boob B!

I'm not sure what that drivel was supposed to be, but you may be interested to know that nobody who speaks with a Southern dialect actually writes out apostrophes at the ends of words, or spells "Lord" "LAWD".

Further, you appear to have mixed Southern drawl with Brooklyn wiseguy ("youse"?).

What kind of retard are you? We're assembling a Christian Classification System for Retards; maybe you can help.

[John Creeser]

Re: Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

It wreaks of negra syntax. I'm pretty sure our "friend" is a negra poster.

[Bob B]

Re: Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

I's su-prised nun of you learned folks was home skooled like me and dun't seem familair with "Christian Phonics". My nefew is about to gradiate from der 4th grade in home skoolin', I dun tole him iffin he dun good on his marks I'd even buy him a beer. Yeah, I knows drink is of the devil, but he jus turned 21, an so its jus this one lil exception.

So Pastor Ezekiel (bless his heart) ain't dun gone to heben in the Rapture?

Wall, I guess thats okay, maybe he'll send us all a postcard from Bangcock! I sure hopes so, Facebook sure is borin' with out him.


What negra wrecked the syntax? I din know de had a tax on sin (it's spekked wif a "i", not a "y"...jus so's you knows)

I seen plenty of negra posters hangin at the Post Office, funny how dey all looks alike, ain't it?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

I's su-prised nun of you learned folks was home skooled like me and dun't seem familair with "Christian Phonics".

Actually, most of us were homeschooled. We learned grammar and spelling from the KJV1611 . . . a book I doubt you've ever tried to read.

[Seth Campbell]

Re: Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

I's su-prised nun of you learned folks was home skooled like me and dun't seem familair with "Christian Phonics". My nefew is about to gradiate from der 4th grade in home skoolin', I dun tole him iffin he dun good on his marks I'd even buy him a beer. Yeah, I knows drink is of the devil, but he jus turned 21, an so its jus this one lil exception.

So Pastor Ezekiel (bless his heart) ain't dun gone to heben in the Rapture?

Wall, I guess thats okay, maybe he'll send us all a postcard from Bangcock! I sure hopes so, Facebook sure is borin' with out him.


What negra wrecked the syntax? I din know de had a tax on sin (it's spekked wif a "i", not a "y"...jus so's you knows)

I seen plenty of negra posters hangin at the Post Office, funny how dey all looks alike, ain't it?

My children would be beaten for writing like this, then my wife would be beaten for doing such a bad job teaching them.

[metallica]

Re: Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

homeschooled, ha, losers

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

homeschooled, ha, losers

Because public school has done wonders for you.

You see, I actually want my children to learn how to read and write. I want my children to be able to put together a coherent sentence. I want my children to be able to spell.

I'm also thinking that maybe they should be learning Chinese since somebodies going to have to run the place once you liebrals turn into a complete blubbering pool of stupidity.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

What's this boy going on about? It's all clicks and grunts to me.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

I'm also thinking that maybe they should be learning Chinese since somebodies going to have to run the place once you liebrals turn into a complete blubbering pool of stupidity.

Sister, are you saying that hasn't happened yet? It can get worse?!

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Prayin fer Pastor Ezekiel Flint (bless his heart)

Sister, are you saying that hasn't happened yet? It can get worse?!

I believe most that come on here are young. Just wait until they're in their 50's and their children are coming up. There will be no language skills at all, it will all be symbols and pictures. Imagine dealing with an entire generation of Mongoloids.

Jesus please come quickly