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  • Christina Nickson
    Unsaved trash
    • Dec 2010
    • 60

    #16
    Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    Busy.

    What can I help you with?
    Well he had some legal problems recently as you must know. Perhaps he could offer some "Assistance" shall we say?
    Revelation 13:1-2 "1 And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy. 2 And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority."

    Comment

    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556

      #17
      Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

      Originally posted by Christina Nickson View Post
      Well he had some legal problems recently as you must know. Perhaps he could offer some "Assistance" shall we say?
      What assistance do you require?

      If it's of a private nature, my email link can be found in my signature below.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Christina Nickson
        Unsaved trash
        • Dec 2010
        • 60

        #18
        Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        What assistance do you require?

        If it's of a private nature, my email link can be found in my signature below.
        Oh, it's not for me, it's for Reverend Jim of course. I'm sure that the Landover legal team can overcome anything if this is any example. http://www.landoverbaptist.org/2010/...fcaptured.html
        Revelation 13:1-2 "1 And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy. 2 And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority."

        Comment

        • Rev. M. Rodimer
          Honorary True Christian™
          Forum Member
          • May 2008
          • 13996

          #19
          Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

          Originally posted by DeadMan89 View Post
          I'll save my prayers for the guy you hit.
          While what my favorite bumper sticker says is true -- "Nothing works like prayer . . . absolutely nothing" -- you should bear in mind that God only listens to the prayers of True Christians™.

          Rev. Jim, I am sorry to hear of your troubles and your loss (of the use of your car). I do hope you can look on the bright side, though! Homosexual bicyclists are usually slender. Imagine if you'd hit this "Dancing Queen" homo-boy!



          I'm told this may have happened right in Jenkins Flats.
          Bible boring? Nonsense!
          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

          Comment

          • DorkHawk
            Unsaved trash, confused teenage nitwit
            • Dec 2010
            • 17

            #20
            Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

            Obviously, it was just the doing of god! He encouraged you to break the law, and text while driving!
            Current masturbator.

            Comment

            • Mistress Cookie
              Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
              True Christian™
              • Jul 2008
              • 6790

              #21
              Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

              Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
              The bicyclist is even less luckier than that: He is currently on life support in serious condition.
              Is he in a coma? Can he speak?

              I hope you didn't, in your distraught state, "confess" anything to the police.

              Confessing is for catlicks.

              If you now think back on the impact with a clearer head, perhaps you remember him coming "out of nowhere"...perhaps swerving as he drove against traffic? Perhaps you heard "suicide bomber"/kamakazzi threats? I would put nothing past these "bikers". Have you seen The Wild Ones? They're a pretty tough lot.

              Maybe his wheel was even loose, or brakes faulty? Perhaps Bobby-Joe from security or Officer Richards can be granted a "courtesy check" on the bike in the Des Moines evidence room? You might be surprised at what they find...

              Comment

              • Christina Nickson
                Unsaved trash
                • Dec 2010
                • 60

                #22
                Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

                I would refer Reverend Jim and any of his legal team to this link http://handsfreeinfo.com/iowa-cell-p...ws-legislation
                Revelation 13:1-2 "1 And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy. 2 And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority."

                Comment

                • Rev. Jim Osborne
                  True Christian™ Televangelist
                  Director of Fundraising and Tithing
                  On the Look Out for Wife #6!
                  True Christian™
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 8622

                  #23
                  Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

                  Thank you all for your prayers and support. My head lawyer, Daniel Weinstein, actually called me up this evening while still in his office, promising that we have a good chance having sufficient grounds to go forth with the lawsuit. The cyclist was not wearing a helmet so that shows disregard for his own safety and that of others, and paints him as an unreliable, reckless character. I've also been advised to not say anything about the texting or the fact that I wasn't wearing my prescription glasses at the time, but I probably shouldn't talk more about that.

                  Christina, the sidewalk would've much safer than the street bike lane because had he been on the sidewalk, this accident would've never occured, now would it?

                  Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

                  Comment

                  • Titus Templeton
                    Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
                    Jesus macht frei
                    True Christian™
                    • Aug 2010
                    • 5912

                    #24
                    Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

                    Reverent, as i am the Quality Manager of Mercedes Europe, i can easily help you to get a new car. It would be a pleasure to see you in one of our new F800 Style Conzept Cars which i could send you as a small gift.

                    In Christ
                    -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
                    -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
                    -Holocaust Jokes
                    -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
                    -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
                    -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
                    -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
                    -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!

                    Comment

                    • Wide-Open
                      Director of European Evangelical Outreach
                      A Shining Example of Christ's Love
                      Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
                      True Christian™
                      • Nov 2007
                      • 18449

                      #25
                      Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

                      I'm sorry to hear about this ordeal Reverend Jim.

                      I think we should gather some people to protest outside - or if possible inside - the hospital where they are pampering this cyclist. "GOD HATES BIKES!"

                      One question, if you don't mind: last time we talked, we agreed that car insurance is, well, silly, because God will provide and protect us. Do you think that might be a problem now?
                      Psalm 81:10:
                      I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                      open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                      Comment

                      • Benedict A. Davis
                        Winning Souls in his Winnebago
                        True Christian™
                        • May 2010
                        • 3900

                        #26
                        Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

                        This cyclist seem to have been operating a moving vehicle and is not conversant in the laws governing said machine. If this country were not being run by tree hugging eco-extremist lie berals there might be proper legislation to protect licensed motor vehicle operators. This is just another example of those socialist loving demonocrats allowing the bleeding hearts to go through their lives without accepting responsibility for their actions.
                        sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
                        Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
                        Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
                        Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

                        Comment

                        • Mousegirl
                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                          • Nov 2010
                          • 68

                          #27
                          Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

                          I am sorry you got into the accadent [Thankfully it was only your car that got damaged and not you] and forgive me for saying but, isn't texting while driving illegal?

                          Comment

                          • Benedict A. Davis
                            Winning Souls in his Winnebago
                            True Christian™
                            • May 2010
                            • 3900

                            #28
                            Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

                            Originally posted by Mousegirl View Post
                            I am sorry you got into the accadent [Thankfully it was only your car that got damaged and not you] and forgive me for saying but, isn't texting while driving illegal?
                            Next thing you are going to try to convince us of is that Praying while operating a motor vehicle would be illegal too? I think not.
                            sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
                            Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
                            Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
                            Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

                            Comment

                            • James Dewitt
                              #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
                              • Jan 2010
                              • 6267

                              #29
                              Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

                              This is quite disturbing to say the least. Oh the humanity of it, the damage, emotionally and bodily. Did I read it correctly you sustained front end damage? Rev Jim I know you are ok, but the car man, the car, its got the AID on it from a Homersexural running into you. I think the best thing to do is burn it. The good news is I have purchased new cars for the clergy at LBC, your new Mercedes is waiting as well as Pastor Ezekiel's Escalade and a new Ford F250 crew cab for Levi. Merry Christmas James.

                              Comment

                              • Mousegirl
                                Confirmed Enemy of God
                                • Nov 2010
                                • 68

                                #30
                                Re: Pray for ME: I hit a bicyclist in my car in a terrible accide

                                Originally posted by Benedict A. Davis View Post
                                Next thing you are going to try to convince us of is that Praying while operating a motor vehicle would be illegal too? I think not.

                                if your eyes are closed then it's dangrous...but if they're open, should be ok. just remember hands on the wheel!

                                Comment

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