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  • #16
    Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?

    Originally posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
    Oh Joanna that is wise indeed. Sadly mechanics in my area are so far booked out that waiting is not the best viable option. And indeed, with my commitments to Jesus in helping my church stay well funded, I don’t have enough money for a down payment on a new car just yet. I have found that I am very close after checking everything out and determined it to be an issue with an erratic occasional loss of power. I took out my voltmeter and with a little fiddling with the fuses, it was determined that the last person to work on my car did some damage to the insulation of my wiring which also happened to cause a loss of power to my PCM. Gonna go to my local hardware store tomorrow and see if I can wrap things up.
    Well. I will pray for your success, so if you manage to fix it you can thank me for it, and if you don't, that means God hates you.
    God created fossils to test our faith.

    * * *

    My favorite LBC sermons:
    True Christians are Perfect!
    True Christian™ Love.
    Salvation™ made Easy!
    You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
    Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
    Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
    Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
    Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
    The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
    Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
    God HATES Rational Thinking!
    True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

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    • #17
      Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?

      Thank you a thousand times over Basilissa. While the issue has not been 100 percent resolved, I have indeed come closer to figuring out what’s wrong and I do believe with your prayers and Jesus’s guidance that I will come out on top in this struggle. I have found out that my car’s internal system check has thrown errors here and there but that some of them have appeared to be checked correctly as they should have. This would lead me away from a PCM swap and to grab the correct tools to check each and every sensor for a short before heading back to the sensor. I know this may sound complicated, but I took my multimeter and checked for continuity at pin 4. Indeed, continuity has NOT been found so that would mean a short somewhere on the circuit and not a PCM issue for now at least.

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      • #18
        Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?

        I see you have made some progress here Brother Rutherford, and I apologize for somehow missing this thread in the past. One thing I noticed you missed was trying to "reboot" your PCM (like they tell you to "reboot" your "router" when the internet goes down). In the case of a car, rebooting your PCM requires that you disconnect your battery.

        In any event, it looks like you have done all the right things but still have not managed to resolve your problem. In that case I should advise you that in cars there is something called the "ground" demons. In a properly made car there would be twice as many wires, but in order to make cars cheaper they rely on something called a "ground". You can waste your time using your trouble light and check all your fuses and everying will appear to be fine and still not work - and that's where these demons come into play draining your soul. I'm told that it takes some special instruments and skill to exorcise these "ground" demons and it's not for the faint of heart. Best advice is to keep your car as far away from sin as possible.
        Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
        brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
        ...and get off my lawn
        sigpic

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        • #19
          Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?

          I have heard stories about the ground gremlins. Rest assured I have checked all these “grounds” three times and found no issue. I’ve sanded them down in the case that my eyes deceive me but no change. I have found something interesting when going up the chain for my starter circuit. I have found that my transmission range sensor fuse, while not broken, is also not receiving power at all. If I am to be understood, without power to the transmission range sensor fuse, then the transmission range sensor can’t do its job of getting the car to start and to tell the PCM “hey we’re in park or neutral, let’s go to church NOW!”. Now if I could only understand what powers the transmission range sensor fuse then I could go up one more chain and probably find the culprit for the misdeeds brought upon by my old yet reliable vehicle. If any of you were to know of a mechanic who knows the answer and could relay that message to me, it would be greatly appreciated and I would include a donation to Pastor Ezekiel’s jet fund in YOUR name. I am not joking about this and do hope to have an answer. I know I’m not a citizen of Freehold but I do hope one of you may help provide me with an answer nonetheless so that Jesus’s time can be freed up to fix other people’s vehicles.

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          • #20
            Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?

            Originally posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
            On my drive home, the speedometer dropped to zero and I saw my RPMs dropping rapidly. [...] the starter wasn’t cranking at all. No click no nothing.
            As far as your car is concerned, God is quite light on guidance related to Ford Tauruses, although it is obvious that, as He knows everything He knows what's wrong.

            If we look at the Life on Earth of Jesus, we see that the only time that he takes any sort of transport is when he rides an ass and a foal into Jerusalem, and that is only because it was foretold and He had no choice.

            Now if an ass or a foal stops, the solution is rarely a fault in the PCM - it is a big stick, except in the case of Jesus for Whom the foal or ass wouldn't stop at all.

            Taking this into consideration - God never gives us more than we can bear - your Ford's breaking down is a message from God. He is asking you to walk more - to walk in the manner of Jesus. He does this so as to put you more in touch with His Creation and to meet more people to whom His Word can be spread. I suggest that you do some walking and tell us how you get on.

            in the meantime, Boy, my faithful retainer and chauffeur advises that the right-hand relay in the second row controls the instruments and the first fuse on the left-hand side controls the ICP and under the hood, fuse 22 controls the PCM "keep alive" function. However, as Boy is a Darkie, and does not have a full grasp of Jesus's Word, you can take this or leave it.


            Originally posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
            My husband's policy is always to replace rather than repair - the knowledge of this certainly keeps me on my toes, I can tell you!
            I wondered why it was that he always refers to you as "The current Mrs Lytton-Vasey." - Well, that's one mystery solved.
            sigpic


            “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

            Author of such illuminating essays as,
            Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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            • #21
              Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?

              Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
              I wondered why it was that he always refers to you as "The current Mrs Lytton-Vasey." - Well, that's one mystery solved.
              Well, that is encouraging! My father invariably introduces my mother with the words "Have you met my first wife?" Mom says that after more than 40 years, it never gets stale.
              Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

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              • #22
                Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?

                Well....I finally found the ground issue. It was grounded next to the air box. The problem is....it’s grounded to an integral part of the body that provides vital support. It was so rusted that when I took out the ground that it pretty much all disintegrated with how rotted out it was. I’m not one to get too attached to things but....my car can’t be saved. I finally found the issue and after figuring it out, further found out that continuing to drive the car would have killed me if I even went over a pot hole. The entire subframe would’ve been pulled out from underneath and killed me. I don’t have much money due to how the world is....but it’s a sign regardless. Better to live and suffer than to have died driving that thing. I’ll post pictures tomorrow. I’m depressed.

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