X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 3
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 template Next
  • Rev. M. Rodimer
    Honorary True Christian™
    Forum Member
    • May 2008
    • 13996
    #31
    Re: You men disgust me!

    Originally posted by HolyTroller56 View Post
    I never spill my seed. I always make sure it stays in the condom.
    Enjoy Hell for your sins of fornication and coitus interruptus.

    What God has caused to be ejaculated, let man not separate from the fertile womb, lest he be damned.
    Bible boring? Nonsense!
    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

      Comment

      • Ezekiel Bathfire
        Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
        Christ's Rottweiler
         
        • Jan 2008
        • 22938
        #32
        Re: You men disgust me!

        Originally posted by HolyRoller56 View Post
        I never spill my seed. I always make sure it stays in the condom.
        Congratulations sinner! You have just plumbed new depths of ignorance!
        sigpic


        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

        Author of such illuminating essays as,
        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78556
            #33
            Re: You men disgust me!

            Originally posted by HolyRoller56 View Post
            I never spill my seed. I always make sure it stays in the condom.
            What's a condom? Is that some new slang for cooter?
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • Rev. M. Rodimer
                Honorary True Christian™
                Forum Member
                • May 2008
                • 13996
                #34
                Re: You men disgust me!

                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                What's a condom? Is that some new slang for cooter?
                ?

                Bible boring? Nonsense!
                Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Al E Pistle
                    Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                     
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 9323
                    #35
                    Re: You men disgust me!

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    What's a condom? Is that some new slang for cooter?
                    No, it's like an apartment but you only get to use it two weeks a year.
                    Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                    "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                    Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                      Comment

                      • davidanstey
                        Unsaved trash
                        Under Investigation
                        • Dec 2009
                        • 3
                        #36
                        Re: You men disgust me!

                        My wife is unable to have anymore children and its been that way for over two years but we still makelove. Sex is to also be enjoyed.

                          Comment

                          • Pastor Ezekiel
                            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                             
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 78556
                            #37
                            Re: You men disgust me!

                            Originally posted by davidanstey View Post
                            My wife is unable to have anymore children and its been that way for over two years but we still makelove. Sex is to also be enjoyed.
                            Where does it say that in the Holy Bible?
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                              Comment

                              • Gabriel Reproba
                                Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
                                The Most Honest Lawyer in America
                                True Christian™
                                • Nov 2009
                                • 2479
                                #38
                                Re: You men disgust me!

                                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                Where does it say that in the Holy Bible?
                                Sex is to be done in the privacy of your own home with your spouse of the opposite sex and in the dark. It should always be fast and followed by a firm handshake.

                                To address all those heathens out there asking about why a man should rule over the woman and why women should have to suffer childbirth, just open a copy of the Bible and you can have your answer. After Eve tricked Adam into eating of the forbiden fruit, God cursed Eve, saying unto her:

                                Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

                                -Genesis 3:16
                                Clear?
                                Yours In Christ,

                                Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

                                Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

                                Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
                                Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
                                The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
                                Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
                                How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
                                20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
                                God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
                                Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
                                Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
                                Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
                                There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
                                Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

                                Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

                                  Comment

                                  • davidanstey
                                    Unsaved trash
                                    Under Investigation
                                    • Dec 2009
                                    • 3
                                    #39
                                    Re: You men disgust me!

                                    I'm sorry for any offence I have caused. I personally believe that sex is to be enjoyed for as long as you are married. My wife would lobe more children but she can
                                    not have anymore. If sex is for having children only then I do apologise.

                                      Comment

                                      • Pastor Ezekiel
                                        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                         
                                        • Sep 2006
                                        • 78556
                                        #40
                                        Re: You men disgust me!

                                        Originally posted by davidanstey View Post
                                        I'm sorry for any offence I have caused. I personally believe that sex is to be enjoyed for as long as you are married. My wife would lobe more children but she can
                                        not have anymore. If sex is for having children only then I do apologise.
                                        Pal, what you or I personally believe is irrelevant. God wants us to let Him decide such things. Ever read The Song of Solomon? God knows what sex is about, believe you me.

                                        Now be a good Christian and leave it up to Him.

                                        He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.
                                        Proverbs 28:26
                                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                          Comment

                                          Previous 1 2 3 template Next
                                          Working...