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  • #421
    Re: Manly Jokes

    Originally posted by Witch Hammer View Post
    What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?

    A quarter-pounder with cheese!

    Low f at yogurt
    Mark 13:22
    “For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.”

    Comment

    • #422
      Re: Manly Jokes

      Originally posted by alooneymormon View Post
      Low f at yogurt
      I don't get it.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • #423
        Re: Manly Jokes

        Ethiopian--- Lowfat
        Yeast infection (culture)--- yogurt

        Smiley was misplaced...oops
        Mark 13:22
        “For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.”

        Comment

        • #424
          Re: Manly Jokes

          Why do Jews have such big noses?
          Because air is free!
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • #425
            Re: Manly Jokes

            Did you know the apostles shared a Honda?
            The Bible says they were all with one Accord.
            Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
            “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

            Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
            Amen and Amen

            Comment

            • #426
              Re: Manly Jokes

              Last week I got a gun for my wife.

              .
              Pretty good trade, huh?

              .
              Your Faithful Usher in Christ Jesus,
              Herman T. Periwinkle


              Mark 16:18 - They shall take vp serpents, and if they drinke any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them, they shall lay hands on the sicke, and they shall recouer.

              Comment

              • #427
                Re: Manly Jokes

                My Name Is Staveros, I build boats. I am the greatest boat builder in all of Greece. My boats are sometimes worth $2,000,000. Do you think they call me Staveros the Boat builder ... NO!!!

                My Name Is Staveros, I build houses. I am the greatest house builder in all of Greece. My houses are sometimes worth $25,000,000. Do you think they call me Staveros the house builder ... NO!!!

                My Name Is Staveros, I build communities. I am the greatest community builder in all of Greece. My communities are sometimes populated with 250,000 people. Do you think they call me Staveros the Mayor ... NO!!!

                My Name Is Staveros, I help to direct the head of Greece with decisions concerning our Country. I am the greatest advisory in all of Greece. My advice is life saving and prosperous. Do you think they call me Staveros the Presidential adviser ... NO!!!..... You Screw just one goat!........
                Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.

                Comment

                • #428
                  Re: Manly Jokes

                  What do you call a 5-man gay mariachi band?


                  Juan Direction!


                  .

                  Praise God!
                  Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ,
                  -Youth Minister Harry Lester

                  Comment

                  • #429
                    Re: Manly Jokes

                    what do you call a man who pretends who love god in order to make sexual advances towards young males

                    Pope Francis

                    Praise Jesus!!!

                    Comment

                    • #430
                      Re: Manly Jokes

                      What did the penis say to the condom?

                      "Cover me, I'm going in!"

                      Comment

                      • #431
                        Re: Manly Jokes

                        A Transatlantic flight is halfway across the ocean when the pilot makes an announcement.

                        "Ladies and gentlemen, due to a fueling error, we lack the fuel to make a landing at our present weight. As ghastly as it is, we must ask some of you to make an ultimate sacrifice in order to save the rest of the passengers. Some of you must jump from the plane, or else we will all crash and drown."

                        An uproar follows, prayers are thrown to heaven, and tears are shed. Finally a Frenchman stands up, yells "Vive la France!" and throws himself from the plane.

                        "That bought us a few more miles," says the captain "but we are still overweight."

                        A Brit stands, adjusts his tie, yells "God save the Queen!" and dives from the plane.

                        "Almost there." says the captain. "One more brave sacrifice should do it."

                        A mountain of a Texan sighs deeply. He stands, hitches his jeans up, adjusts his Stetson, bellows "Remember Gilead! Remember the Alamo!", grabs two Mexicans, and tosses them both out of the plane.
                        Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

                        Comment

                        • #432
                          Re: Manly Jokes

                          Whats a Mexicans favorite sport?

                          Cross county

                          What do you call jews on an apple farm?
                          .....
                          .....

                          apple jews
                          Proverbs 15:26 - The thoughts of the wicked [are] an abomination to the LORD: but [the words] of the pure [are] pleasant words

                          POKEMON=SATANIC PAGAN RITUAL
                          Check out my new Discipline Lotion if you have NAUGHTY kids

                          Comment

                          • #433
                            Re: Manly Jokes

                            I have one. a Mexican American and Chinese guy are on a boat. the Chinese guy throws out a bag of rice. the Mexican asks why did you do that? I have a lot of those in my country the Chinese guy said. The Mexican throws out a bag of tacos. the American asks why did you do that? I have a lot of those in my country the Mexican said. so the American throws the Mexican off the boat. why did you do that? the Chinese guy said. I have a lot of those in my country the American said. lol I love this joke.

                            Comment

                            • #434
                              Re: Manly Jokes

                              Originally posted by arachnid View Post
                              I have one. a Mexican American and Chinese guy are on a boat. the Chinese guy throws out a bag of rice. the Mexican asks why did you do that? I have a lot of those in my country the Chinese guy said. The Mexican throws out a bag of tacos. the American asks why did you do that? I have a lot of those in my country the Mexican said. so the American throws the Mexican off the boat. why did you do that? the Chinese guy said. I have a lot of those in my country the American said. lol I love this joke.
                              That is racism! We do not allow racism on God's favorite forum! Please refrain from doing so in the future!
                              5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                              To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                              James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                              Comment

                              • #435
                                Re: Manly Jokes

                                Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                                That is racism! We do not allow racism on God's favorite forum! Please refrain from doing so in the future!
                                Gracias, Hermano Cranky.
                                Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. - Psalm 46:10

                                Comment

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