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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78551
    #451
    Re: Manly Jokes

    Originally posted by MonicaMatei View Post
    I'm a woman. These jokes are manly.
    Dear femnazi;

    This section of the forum is clearly marked MEN ONLY. It doesn't matter to Jesus or me that you dress yourself up in men's clothing and run around calling yourself "Butch." God is not easily fooled by such tricks. Unless He blessed you with a tallywhacker (excuse my French), then you are not a man and therefore UNWELCOME in this thread.

    Kindly go make a thread of your own in the "introductions" thread and tell us about your house cleaning tips and your pie crust secrets.

    YIC,

    --Pastor Ezekiel
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • MonicaMatei
        Unsaved trash, obese whore of satan
        • Dec 2015
        • 16
        #452
        Re: Manly Jokes

        Calm down, I'm not a feminazi, and I can't cook. You know, not all women can do housework and stuff like that and not all men can be "manly", and also I know that I'm not welcome in this thread.😴
        Myarf

          Comment

          • WilliamJenningsBryan
            True Christian™
             
            • Jan 2007
            • 9383
            #453
            Re: Manly Jokes

            Originally posted by MonicaMatei View Post
            Calm down, I'm not a feminazi, and I can't cook. You know, not all women can do housework and stuff like that and not all men can be "manly", and also I know that I'm not welcome in this thread.😴

            There you have it - admitting to micro-aggression, and you expect us not to be triggered?
            Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
            brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
            ...and get off my lawn
            sigpic

              Comment

              • MonicaMatei
                Unsaved trash, obese whore of satan
                • Dec 2015
                • 16
                #454
                Re: Manly Jokes

                Dude, the only reason I'm on this site is because I want to trigger your rage. Hope you get mad. And I'll make sure to break even more rules.
                Myarf

                  Comment

                  • Didymus Much
                    Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                    • Jun 2010
                    • 14076
                    #455
                    Re: Manly Jokes

                    Originally posted by MonicaMatei View Post
                    ...Hope you get mad...
                    Know what would really piss them off? Reading the Bible so you have half a clue of what Christianity really is. Yeah, they hate it when you do that.

                      Comment

                      • MonicaMatei
                        Unsaved trash, obese whore of satan
                        • Dec 2015
                        • 16
                        #456
                        Re: Manly Jokes

                        Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
                        Know what would really piss them off? Reading the Bible so you have half a clue of what Christianity really is. Yeah, they hate it when you do that.
                        Thanks for the advice, man, but I don't want to die of laughter. Also they called me "obese whore of satan", which is funny 'cause I'm underweight.
                        Myarf

                          Comment

                          • WilliamJenningsBryan
                            True Christian™
                             
                            • Jan 2007
                            • 9383
                            #457
                            Re: Manly Jokes

                            Originally posted by MonicaMatei View Post
                            Dude, the only reason I'm on this site is because I want to trigger your rage. Hope you get mad. And I'll make sure to break even more rules.
                            Originally posted by MonicaMatei View Post
                            Thanks for the advice, man, but I don't want to die of laughter. Also they called me "obese whore of satan", which is funny 'cause I'm underweight.
                            This is a "Joke" thread, and all you've done is derail it - and it's frankly not funny. You post one more thing in this thread that is not a joke and you will be banned.
                            Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                            brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                            ...and get off my lawn
                            sigpic

                              Comment

                              • alooneymoron
                                Unsaved trash, avowed godmocker
                                • Dec 2014
                                • 187
                                #458
                                Re: Manly Jokes

                                Heroin skinny?
                                Mark 13:22
                                “For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.”

                                  Comment

                                  • Ph0enix808
                                    Forum Member
                                    Forum Member
                                    • Sep 2015
                                    • 140
                                    #459
                                    Re: Manly Jokes

                                    Want to hear a joke?

                                    Obama
                                    Proverbs 15:26 - The thoughts of the wicked [are] an abomination to the LORD: but [the words] of the pure [are] pleasant words

                                    POKEMON=SATANIC PAGAN RITUAL
                                    Check out my new Discipline Lotion if you have NAUGHTY kids

                                      Comment

                                      • Pastor Ezekiel
                                        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                         
                                        • Sep 2006
                                        • 78551
                                        #460
                                        Re: Manly Jokes

                                        What does Barack Obama call illegal aliens?

                                        Undocumented democrats.
                                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                          Comment

                                          • James Hutchins
                                            True Christian™
                                            Just a Regular Nice Guy
                                             
                                            • Jun 2009
                                            • 29433
                                            #461
                                            Re: Manly Jokes

                                            Originally posted by MonicaMatei View Post
                                            Dude, the only reason I'm on this site is because I want to trigger your rage. Hope you get mad. And I'll make sure to break even more rules.
                                            Your parents must be proud.

                                            You cannot upset us, we are True Christians(tm). We know that God will resolve your pent up 'issues' when He send you to Hell!
                                            Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                                            Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                                            Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                                            Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                                            Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                                            Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                                              Comment

                                              • Titus Templeton
                                                Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
                                                Jesus macht frei
                                                True Christian™
                                                • Aug 2010
                                                • 5912
                                                #462
                                                Re: Manly Jokes

                                                A communist, a spy and a chinese walk into a bar.
                                                He orders a drink.
                                                -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
                                                -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
                                                -Holocaust Jokes
                                                -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
                                                -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
                                                -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
                                                -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
                                                -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!

                                                  Comment

                                                  • alooneymoron
                                                    Unsaved trash, avowed godmocker
                                                    • Dec 2014
                                                    • 187
                                                    #463
                                                    Re: Manly Jokes

                                                    How are women like airplanes?

                                                    They both have cockpits...
                                                    Mark 13:22
                                                    “For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.”

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Reaper42
                                                        Unsaved trash cheese-eating surrender-monkey
                                                        • Jan 2016
                                                        • 88
                                                        #464
                                                        Re: Manly Jokes

                                                        How is deer meat cheep? The balls are under a buck. XD
                                                        Revelation 6:8 And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Des
                                                            True Christian™
                                                            True Christian™
                                                            • Jun 2013
                                                            • 2718
                                                            #465
                                                            Re: Manly Jokes

                                                            Q. What is the most dangerous place in the world?
                                                            A. A liberal woman's uterus.

                                                            Q. What do feminists use for contraception?
                                                            A. Their personality.
                                                            Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

                                                              Comment

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