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  • Poetical Peter
    Guest
    • Jun 2018
    • 2

    #1

    I am a poetaster from way back

    "Get thee behind me, Satan!" is an old saw, indeed.

    For years, when I was young, I frequented places indecent and gathered seed. My shame for not having died of the AIDS haunted my life.


    So I got married to a real woman, a Christian woman! when I was nearing fifty.


    Through her ministrations I found a foundation to build real love throughour mutual love of Jesus.

    My late wifte was called home by our Lord, His will be done, she long suffered chronic illness without complaint. Our lives are to witness in the dying of our loved one the perfect plan of God, who gives us all a life and will give it again, only forever, on Judgment Day to come!

    My poetry days of old when I was last here as Poetic Peter, are finished. Or I will, perhaps, try to squeak in poetic meter some other time.

    I wish to rejoin in a small way our community here today in a personal-own, new phase of of this, our temporary first life; I wish to be taken up here among dear old friends of Landover whom once I knew, who always then uplifted me despite my many failings of meter or measure; whose forgiveness and support is unfailingly in lockstep with the master plan for order of our Lord, who, verily, brings a sword in reply to all the ingenuous thoughts for peace on Earth*.


    *Ain't gonna happen.
  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22900

    #2
    Re: I am a poetaster from way back

    In all fairness, you could be anyone. Write some poetry praising Jesus and we'll think about it.
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

    Comment

    • James Hutchins
      True Christian™
      Just a Regular Nice Guy
       
      • Jun 2009
      • 29453

      #3
      Re: I am a poetaster from way back

      I recall seeing your name in the Church Rosters though I noticed that your Tithes are severely past due. The past due amounts with fees and nominal 5%/month compounded weekly interest is quite a sum.
      I imagine some sweet talking to Pastor Flint and a session of healing may be called for.
      I'll pray for your soul.

      YIC
      JH
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

      Comment

      • Faith_Machine
        Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Mar 2011
        • 10050

        #4
        Re: I am a poetaster from way back

        You say you belonged to our humble organization and then left? Why did you leave?
        WARNING:
        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

        Comment

        • Basilissa
          South of the Border outreach program
          True Christian™
           
          • Mar 2013
          • 12993

          #5
          Re: I am a poetaster from way back

          Originally posted by Poetical Peter View Post
          My poetry days of old when I was last here as Poetic Peter, are finished. Or I will, perhaps, try to squeak in poetic meter some other time.

          I wish to rejoin in a small way our community here today in a personal-own, new phase of of this, our temporary first life; I wish to be taken up here among dear old friends of Landover whom once I knew, who always then uplifted me despite my many failings of meter or measure; whose forgiveness and support is unfailingly in lockstep with the master plan for order of our Lord, who, verily, brings a sword in reply to all the ingenuous thoughts for peace on Earth*.


          *Ain't gonna happen.

          back, Peter! I think you will find Landover as welcoming as it has always been. There's always a spot in the congregation for a returning prodigal son!
          God created fossils to test our faith.

          * * *

          My favorite LBC sermons:
          True Christians are Perfect!
          True Christian™ Love.
          Salvation™ made Easy!
          You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
          Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
          Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
          Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
          Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
          The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
          Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
          God HATES Rational Thinking!
          True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

          Comment

          • handmaiden
            Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
            True Christian™
            • May 2010
            • 11528

            #6
            Re: I am a poetaster from way back

            Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
            back, Peter! I think you will find Landover as welcoming as it has always been. There's always a spot in the congregation for a returning prodigal son!
            True. But as some others have indicated, that spot ain't gonna dust and polish on its own.
            His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

            Guns For God and the Economy

            Comment

            • James Hutchins
              True Christian™
              Just a Regular Nice Guy
               
              • Jun 2009
              • 29453

              #7
              Re: I am a poetaster from way back

              Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
              You say you belonged to our humble organization and then left? Why did you leave?
              I've seen many True Christians(tm) leave to become immersed in the outside world as a test to their faith. I myself regularly go places to confirm my resolve and prove to God I am worthy. Though I am not sure if He is always noticing me. I am no Pastor, just a regular guy so I am low on His List(r). I will go into a 'Leather Bar' and become surrounded by muscular mustached sodomites. Pure in my resolve, I undergo a constant groping and drooling saliva. Or I will visit a bath house to cleanse my soul only to discover it is chock full of trim, barely 18 year old men with a wild lust in their eye and not a stich of clothes on, looking to earn a quick buck.
              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

              Comment

              • Faith_Machine
                Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                True Christian™
                • Mar 2011
                • 10050

                #8
                Re: I am a poetaster from way back

                Yes, I've noticed the bath houses in my area do a terrible job of policing that sort of activity. What ever happened to the good old days, when a gentleman could simply visit a bath house for its intended purpose without being harassed by the gaywise?
                WARNING:
                In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                Comment

                • Poetical Peter
                  Guest
                  • Jun 2018
                  • 2

                  #9
                  Re: I am a poetaster from way back

                  Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                  In all fairness, you could be anyone. Write some poetry praising Jesus and we'll think about it.
                  What follows praises Jesus, it does indeed! because it is the work of a repentent, long ago homer. Of 1826 or so, in fact. Permit explanation:

                  In the nineteenth century home entertainments were limited.

                  Folks would sometimes produce a formal, one-shot, living-statue play called a tableau vivant.


                  Family and friends posed on a home-made stage. The curtain was drawn to reveal some sort of surprisingly poignant scene; perhaps a sceneof the bible or a social scene of morally uplifting intent.


                  Jesus predominates in all life.


                  However, this Tableau Vivant is of its antique era, perhaps 1826. Young gentlemen (for instance) made social calls because there were no telephones.


                  The sisters you will shortly see in desperate poses for attention are named for the months. Their comely brother is, too.


                  The increasingly regular vistor whome they almost daily greet, whom they wish to captivate, this tableau calls the sun.


                  But he is...unusual...in the Homerific way, Oh! ruinuous sin!

                  Anyway, I hope the historical poetic relic below shows you a slice of real life, all its participants on the way to hell.


                  =1826 Coded Tableau Vivant=

                  Would April, May and June much mind
                  If The Day loved brother August?

                  A suitor, posed, not punctuating
                  Measured starts toward ends

                  Each sister would propose, although
                  He was not what they would see in him.


                  ------------------



                  This is why I am coming home again to Landover: for reinforcement of pragmatic, non-poetical spiritual leaders.


                  In my rational moments I realize that all poetry that does not directly address the work and intent of the Lord (such as the above!) is the biggest waste of time; is the single greatest greaser of satan's coal shute to hell.

                  Comment

                  • Poetic Peter
                    Christian Poet Emeritus
                    Forum Member
                    • Nov 2006
                    • 1696

                    #10
                    I am myself again, reinstated!

                    Well, now that is good, thank you, powers that be here!

                    Again I am Poetic Peter!

                    Eight long years I was gone from Landover.


                    Eight years before the mast...the salt, the spray...the lash...the sea....


                    Now, praise the Lord, this sinner is on the Godly good dry land again of Landover Baptist Church!


                    "Poetical Peter" is retired and Poetic Peter is returned.

                    Comment

                    • Basilissa
                      South of the Border outreach program
                      True Christian™
                       
                      • Mar 2013
                      • 12993

                      #11
                      Re: I am myself again, reinstated!

                      Originally posted by Poetic Peter View Post
                      Well, now that is good, thank you, powers that be here!

                      Again I am Poetic Peter!

                      Eight long years I was gone from Landover.

                      Eight years before the mast...the salt, the spray...the lash...the sea....

                      Now, praise the Lord, this sinner is on the Godly good dry land again of Landover Baptist Church!

                      "Poetical Peter" is retired and Poetic Peter is returned.
                      Eight years is a long, long time, Brother Peter. While all your sins will be forgiven (unless you trespassed against the Holy Ghost, of course - in that case you are screwed for eternity, Mark 3:29), the Scripture requires that you confess these sins (not in the erroneous Catholic sense of the word, but before the congregation). Excruciating details will be most welcome!

                      James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
                      God created fossils to test our faith.

                      * * *

                      My favorite LBC sermons:
                      True Christians are Perfect!
                      True Christian™ Love.
                      Salvation™ made Easy!
                      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                      Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                      God HATES Rational Thinking!
                      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                      Comment

                      • James Hutchins
                        True Christian™
                        Just a Regular Nice Guy
                         
                        • Jun 2009
                        • 29453

                        #12
                        Re: I am myself again, reinstated!

                        Originally posted by Poetic Peter View Post
                        Well, now that is good, thank you, powers that be here!

                        Again I am Poetic Peter!

                        Eight long years I was gone from Landover.


                        Eight years before the mast...the salt, the spray...the lash...the sea....


                        Now, praise the Lord, this sinner is on the Godly good dry land again of Landover Baptist Church!


                        "Poetical Peter" is retired and Poetic Peter is returned.
                        Gone perhaps, but never forgotten. Thank you fpor bringing your Tithes upto date based on a financial inquiry made by the Chuch forensic joo accountants, FineStein and Schmeer . They have resolved the manner as appropriate and levied the requisite fines and penalties.
                        I look forward to your prose going forward as we all need a moment of reflection during these troubling times.
                        God loves a fallen Christian that returns to the fold, repentant and subservient.
                        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                        Comment

                        • Poetic Peter
                          Christian Poet Emeritus
                          Forum Member
                          • Nov 2006
                          • 1696

                          #13
                          Re: I am a poetaster from way back

                          Thank you, re-welcoming family.

                          Am so behind in tithing!

                          Have never been this far in arrears.

                          Comment

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