Where do you start?

[Angelos Epithemiou]

On and off over the years I've heard about that there Jesus and that he's been up to all sorts of stuff.
I want to meet him but I can't find him in the phone book?

Any ideas?

[Lisa H]

Re: Where do you start?

On and off over the years I've heard about that there Jesus and that he's been up to all sorts of stuff.
I want to meet him but I can't find him in the phone book?

Any ideas?

The only phone book you need for Jesus is the Bible and prayer.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Where do you start?

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.

[Lycia The Repentant]

Re: Where do you start?

You can start by reading the KJV 1611 Bible and by not making any more dumb jokes.

[Angelos Epithemiou]

Re: Where do you start?

Where do I get one of those Bibles you speak of? Are they available in Londis or any of the bigger supermarkets?
If I were to speak to him (or send him a SMS) where's the best place to meet?

[Chockolate]

Re: Where do you start?

I find this thread highly offensive. Stop it.

[Angelos Epithemiou]

Re: Where do you start?

I can't stop. I need to find this chap, let him into my life and show him what's in my bag.

I was looking for constructive comments. I can't deal with negativity, it makes my head hurt...

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Where do you start?

I can't stop. I need to find this chap, let him into my life and show him what's in my bag.

I was looking for constructive comments. I can't deal with negativity, it makes my head hurt...

Decapitation, Exorcism or Faith healing might help you then.

You seem to be deliriously hallucinating.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Where do you start?

On and off over the years I've heard about that there Jesus and that he's been up to all sorts of stuff.
I want to meet him but I can't find him in the phone book?

Any ideas?

Angelos--The field of comedians is all ready overcrowded. You should consider some other line of work.

[Titus Templeton]

Re: Where do you start?

You dont need to phone Jesus. He is the voice in your head. You feel His Power right now... Open your Eyes

[Angelos Epithemiou]

Re: Where do you start?

Angelos--The field of comedians is all ready overcrowded. You should consider some other line of work.

I could go back to my burger van to spread the words, the ideas and mustard.

Certain cynical attitudes won't put me off wanting to hear/learn more...

[ExGay Alex]

Re: Where do you start?

2 Peter 3:3: ...here shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts...

Mockers. Homosexuals. Perverts. Fornicators. These are signs of the end to times. And Angelos, I suspect, is all four of them, and more, wrapped into one.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Where do you start?

I could go back to my burger van to spread the words, the ideas and mustard.

Certain cynical attitudes won't put me off wanting to hear/learn more...

What a wonderful idea!

While in your burger van, you can start at Genesis, then end at Revelation.

You can pick up a King James Authorized Version Bible at any bookstore. Or, you can read it online by following this link. FREE!

[Angelos Epithemiou]

Re: Where do you start?

That's a proper good idea Mr Rev Rodimer sir, I could start serving my Genesis breakfast (in a tray or on bread) and like you say, finish later in the day with Revelations tea, coffee and optional hot chocolate (for the young 'uns).

Thankyou for giving me a chance and offering a productive answer, although I'd still to meet that there Jesus if at all possible.

How about if I close my eyes real tight and think all about him, will I 'sort' of see him?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Where do you start?

How about if I close my eyes real tight and think all about him, will I 'sort' of see him?

No. You have to read the Bible first to know who He is.

Otherwise, you'll imagine some fluffy-bunny all-loving hippie who has nothing to do with the real Jesus.

You have been told where to start. Stop looking for shortcuts and easy answers and get to work.