I'm getting a bible!

[Joshua The Converted]

KJV1661, physical copy, coming to me! 've been talking to a man in a private room of a chatroom, and he is going to be shipping me a bible! I explained to him about how I don't have one, and he said he'd ship me one! So, am I finally on my way to being saved? Getting a KJV1661 and following it to the T?

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: I'm getting a bible!

Congratulations, Joshua.

It also would not hurt, for you and everyone else, that when you get a King James 1611 Bible, make sure you destroy at least one other false Bible.

Particularly a Catholic one.

Extra credit if you torch a Book of Mormon too.

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: I'm getting a bible!

And one other thing:

[Joshua The Converted]

Re: I'm getting a bible!

Okay then, why don't I just set fire to the whole Catholic Library and Muslim Bookshop in my town centre? And, I will read it, I've been listening to it for a while on my phone.

[Janine Walker]

Re: I'm getting a bible!

Okay then, why don't I just set fire to the whole Catholic Library and Muslim Bookshop in my town centre? And, I will read it, I've been listening to it for a while on my phone.

No, because that is against man's law..

[Joshua The Converted]

Re: I'm getting a bible!

...... What if I go in, buy / check out every book, and let my German shepherds rip them to pieces, then put the remains through a wood chipper, then throw it all onto a bonfire?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: I'm getting a bible!

Okay then, why don't I just set fire to the whole Catholic Library and Muslim Bookshop in my town centre? And, I will read it, I've been listening to it for a while on my phone.

Arson is usually frowned upon (except that the subject be a proven witch) and arson, even of heathen bookshops, is probably contrary to some 1,000 year old English law that has not yet been repealed. Further, does not the Lord say,

1st Peter 2:13 Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme;
1st Peter 2:14 Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.
1st Peter 2:15 For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men:

Basically, obey the laws of God and Man.

[Janine Walker]

Re: I'm getting a bible!

...... What if I go in, buy / check out every book, and let my German shepherds rip them to pieces, then put the remains through a wood chipper, then throw it all onto a bonfire?

Then you are funding terrorism and satanism. It's a lose-lose situation just destroy what you already have. It'd be no different than going into your local drug dealers house and buying out his entire stash of Mexican weed and Mexican Cocaine. You'd just be doing him a huge favor getting that stuff off his hands.

[Titus Templeton]

Re: I'm getting a bible!

This is a lucky day!

Maybe you are strong enough an go to Heaven with all of us? Then we can study the Bible over and over again.

[Joshua The Converted]

Re: I'm getting a bible!

Seeing as I've not got such positive responses from the burning of books, as Brother Oakland suggested, I'll leave it, unless I get swamped with people saying it's good. I've just been talking to him, he said he gets paid on Friday, so he'll ship it either Friday or Saturday. Now, I have no idea how long it will take, but I presume it will be here by Friday 21st.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I'm getting a bible!

KJV1661, physical copy, coming to me! 've been talking to a man in a private room of a chatroom, and he is going to be shipping me a bible! I explained to him about how I don't have one, and he said he'd ship me one! So, am I finally on my way to being saved? Getting a KJV1661 and following it to the T?

Praise God! May you always keep it near!

But I would end the chatting with strange men in private rooms on the Interweb. Many homosexual predators will claim to be Christian in the final days of the AIDS disease. Shunned even by fellow degenerate gays, they seek sympathy from anyone that will listen. Better that he suffer his punishment appropriately on his own. Thank him and wish him well.

In Christ!

[Joshua The Converted]

Re: I'm getting a bible!

Brother Porter, I made sure he was okay, as this was a Christian forum, I can't remember the name, and the had an iIRC chatroom. I checked him out with the others first, because I'm always wary of people who I can't see, or have a picture of a cartoon or something. Apparently he was one of the founding members. And since I'm at school 5 days a week, I'll always have it in my bag, where I can reach it, in case I need the guidance of the Lord.

[handmaiden]

Re: I'm getting a bible!

Okay then, why don't I just set fire to the whole Catholic Library and Muslim Bookshop in my town centre? And, I will read it, I've been listening to it for a while on my phone.

First, get the Real Bible into your hands. Then study it to the n th detail. Then pray with all your might that God's Will be done regarding the library and bookshop. Then God will provide. It might be a lightening bolt or a spontaneous combusting drunk. Perhaps the right candidate will appear at the right time and will be elected and then change the civil codes to reflect the correct Bible ones. Immediately after which a coupon will appear in the mail that will provide you with a 40 % discount on a flame thrower.

Never put limits on God. He exists without limits-- just like your imagination.

As you grow in faith, you will learn the important, spiritual values that God wishes to impart to you. You will also learn to spell "centre" correctly as He becomes the center of your life.

Encouragingly Yours,

Handmaiden

[Joshua The Converted]

Re: I'm getting a bible!

Oh yes, sorry for the mistake, Handmaiden. I mean "center". I can't wait for this Bible, I really want to study it, and, hopefully, be considered a True Christian.

[Joshua The Converted]

Re: I'm getting a bible!

I'm just wondering, when and if I become a True Christian, will I be able to make topics in other forums?