freakjon99

[freakjon99]

Hi! I am the freakjon99. I come from Sweden and I show you that Sweden is hell on the earth. I'm sorry my english isn't great.

Jesus brought me here today to give you that jesus is king.

Me favorite verse of the king james is 1Now these are the judgments which thou shalt set before them.

2If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing.

3If he came in by himself, he shall go out by himself: if he were married, then his wife shall go out with him.

4If his master have given him a wife, and she have born him sons or daughters; the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall go out by himself.

5And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free:

6Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring him to the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an aul; and he shall serve him for ever.

7And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.

8If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her.

9And if he have betrothed her unto his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of daughters.

10If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.

11And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money.

Let GOD and JESUS be with you.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: freakjon99

Welcome, Freak! How many sons do you have?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: freakjon99

Welcome to God's favorite forum. What part of Denmark are you from? How much blubber do you chew in a given day?


If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[freakjon99]

Re: freakjon99

I have one child and 2 daughters. My son is 11 and my daughters are 14 and 8.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: freakjon99

Wow, sorry to hear about the daughters. That's a tough break. At least you'll be able to get the older one married off in two years.

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: freakjon99

At least you'll be able to get the older one married off in two years.

Do you really think its wise to wait that long? I'll defer to your judgement, Brother FM, but if she were mine I would have sold her off two years ago.

[freakjon99]

Re: freakjon99

Brother YbY, I wish I could sell my daughters. Sadly it's illegal in Sweden.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: freakjon99

Do you really think its wise to wait that long? I'll defer to your judgement, Brother FM, but if she were mine I would have sold her off two years ago.

You may have a point there.

[godskatie]

Re: freakjon99

Welcome freak! Sad to hear about living in Sweden and not being able to sell your daughter. Move somewhere as soon as possible, and sell her like a cattle, so maybe she will be a good wife. Are you teaching her the ways of our Lord God? I hope you are.

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: freakjon99

Welcome to the friendliest of all forums on the intertubes!

You should be aware that we have different customs than at your Godforsaken place – wherever it actually is. So, clubbing of baby seal and other manly past-time activities are encouraged here, while clubbing of Eskimos is not – at least not of those who are members of our Godly congregation! Just in case, so you won’t get in troubles here.

YiC, DUH

[freakjon99]

Re: freakjon99

We here in Sweden are normal people, just like Americans. Except some do club Ekimos and seal. they usually are drunk or snorting coke tho.

[Bible Student]

Re: freakjon99

We here in Sweden are normal people, just like Americans. Except some do club Ekimos and seal. they usually are drunk or snorting coke tho.

That is just disgusting! Do they use a whole bottle?

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: freakjon99

I have two questions about Switzerland, if you don't mind. I travel alot, but have never really made it up there.

1) Is it true that you're all limp-wristed pansies that have allowed Muslim immigrants to take over your country and make you the statistically Rape Capital of Europe? It's like you people just don't give a crap about your country or what? Just curious.

2) How do you get internet in your igloos? Doesn't the heat from the computer and wires melt the ice?

Thanks, I really want to know.

By the way, my condolences for having to live in Swaziland.

-Rev Jim

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: freakjon99

We here in Sweden are normal people, just like Americans.

Sure...

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: freakjon99

I never understood what the thing is with the alpenhorns. Shed any light?