[James Hutchins]

Re: Thanks for giving me this opportunity for salvation!

ya except for the fact that none of your bible quotes can be proven. "i wont belive it til i see it" is there for a reason.

let me 'enlighten' you

people created a 'god' for lightning. when science found out that lightning is caused by friction between hot and cold air, that god was dismissed....
along with many other gods.

science will prove your god wrong in many ways

i suggest this link. click it if you are not already in denial

http://truth-saves.com/god-doesnt-exist/

If you read the Bible, you will see it. The Bible is the inerrant Word of God.

If your mommy writes you a note about recess and you do not see her write it, do you still believe it is what your mommy wrote?

[Thomas Dalton]

Re: Thanks for giving me this opportunity for salvation!

Thank you all for your support! It means the world to me.
I find this forum, try to have a polite conversation with like minded individuals and learn the bible better, and then an Atheist troll shows up and feels the need to spit on the name of the Lord!

I've lived a pretty sheltered life, since I was home schooled, but aren't there laws against that sort of thing?

I'll follow your advice, Isaac, and leave the deluded Homer-loving Demoncrat trolls to you all. You're probably better equiped to deal with them.

I'm afraid that I don't have a wife yet. Most of the maids in our manor are whores who try to seduce men into raping them, and for the rest I didn't have much chance to meet some proper Christian girls.

I do have a horse and dogs though. Before 2004, me and my pops would go foxhunting bonding together, but now it's outlawed

[James Hutchins]

Re: Thanks for giving me this opportunity for salvation!

Friend, you do not live a sheltered life. You live it nestled in among the heavy bosoms of God, along with all True Believers(r). A sheltered life is one blinded by the facts about Jesus and Christianity.

[DaryPreewed]

Greetings I only wanted to say hello to everyone.

Hey I'm excited to be on www.landoverbaptist.net!!!!!! I only wanted to say hello to everyone.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Greetings I only wanted to say hello to everyone.

Well do it in your own introduction thread, you godless toad!

And you can shove off with your self-promoting links too! Only Chinks and Dotheads do that sort of things and if your one of them, I suggest you reassess your relationship with whatever blue elephant you worship.

I have saved you from Damnation by linking to the picture you sent me of your workmanship.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Greetings I only wanted to say hello to everyone.

Hey I'm excited to be on SPAM LINK REMOVED I only wanted to say hello to everyone.

I'll be searching each of the sites you linked to for your contact information. As soon as I find your phone number, you and I are going to have a good, long talk about your relationship with Jesus Christ.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Greetings I only wanted to say hello to everyone.

I'll be searching each of the sites you linked to for your contact information. As soon as I find your phone number, you and I are going to have a good, long talk about your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Please be sure to forward that contact info to the Department of Faith. I'm sure they will want to pay our little spammer a personal visit.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Thanks for giving me this opportunity for salvation!

its cool to hunt. especially homos. god would want us to. cus he doesnt judge. ever. in fact, he likes to put the gays, the evil and condones slavery!!! god is so righteous i love him. im so happy we are not evolved from monkeys who share 97 percent of our DNA. wouldnt make sense that we are evolved from anything except 2 people 6000 years ago !!!!!!!!!!! god and religion is sooo coooool!!!!

Why would anyone go to all the trouble of joining a web forum like this just to be ineptly sarcastic about God's wonders and to lampoon Him?

What a witless fool!

[Thomas Dalton]

Re: Thanks for giving me this opportunity for salvation!

Praise the Department of Faith! I've been saved!
I know you've all been praying for me to pass the rigorous background check, and I thank you for it!

Psalm 96:12: Let the field be joyful, and all that is therein: then shall all the trees of the wood rejoice!

I do want to apologize for the error my mother made when the department called her to verify she was also a woman of God. She would have handed the telephone to my father as good wifes do, but since you insisted that you also wanted to check her (limited, since she's female) knowledge, she messed up Exodus 22:18 and Leviticus 20:13 when asked for the proper response to gays.

She did want to stone them of course, but thought the proper verse was "Thou shalt not suffer a gay to live".

I apologize again. She has been properly beaten with a rod for this mistake.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Thanks for giving me this opportunity for salvation!

Oh, Thoma Dalton, seeing you promoted, why, I say this calls for a celebration!

We don't need any fancy party hats or music, though; somebody break out your KJV and start reading aloud from it!

[Isaac Fisher]

Re: Thanks for giving me this opportunity for salvation!

Praise! Shout glory!



Welcome to True Christianity®!

[godisgreater]

Re: Thanks for giving me this opportunity for salvation!

I'm afraid that I don't have a wife yet. Most of the maids in our manor are whores who try to seduce men into raping them, and for the rest I didn't have much chance to meet some proper Christian girls.

I only wish that I could move to Scotland and bake you a pie. I am sure it would win your heart!

Oh how I long for a good Christian man to allow me to bake him one.

Your quick acceptance into the forum makes me jealous, I admit. But as 1 Corinthians 13:4 states:

Love suffereth long, `and' is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up

I will have to pray for the Lords forgiveness, for my envy is obviously in the way of love.

[Thomas Dalton]

Re: Thanks for giving me this opportunity for salvation!

Welcome Sister!

Your time of salvation will also come, I'm sure of it! I've been praying for you.

Thanks for the interest in my love life, I appreciate it.
I've been riding my horse a lot lately, so the enjoyment I get from riding him fills the emptyness in my heart a bit. The rest of the emptyness I can luckily fill with love for Jesus!

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Thanks for giving me this opportunity for salvation!

Praise! Shout glory!



Welcome to True Christianity®!

Hold up there. Let's not put the cart before the horse. While we are all excited for young Thomas as a freshly minted Forum Member, he is not a True Christian™. And I would discourage your possessive use of the rank as I do not see True Christian™ under your name either.

It's similar to the difference between a Private First Class and a Master Sergeant in that it takes hard work, time and excellence in service to Jesus Christ in order to move up. Not all will achieve such a lofty goal, but time will tell.

Congratulations, young Thomas! May you blossom in your new personal relationship with your Savior.

In Christ

[Thomas Dalton]

Re: Thanks for giving me this opportunity for salvation!

I (again) am sorry that my name got falsely connected with True Christianity, while I cannot yet make such a claim.

I will be vigilant to make sure it won't happen again.

1 Peter 5:8
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour