I have found you

**Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson** · 12-19-2011, 11:16 PM

Re: I have found you

Amen! Jesus proves time and time again that even a penny pinching hook nosed shylock can find Him.

Hallelujah!

Tell us how you gave up your life of killing our Savior to find Him, friend.

**Saul Steinberg** · 12-19-2011, 11:22 PM

Re: I have found you

Well it all started around two summers ago. I was raised in a like-minded community that didn't get too many outsiders. Well one day me and the misses decided we should fly the coop and move into our own house.. I went through the village trying to find someone who knew how to build us a house when I discovered we murdered the last one of us that knew how to work with his hands.

That's when my journey began and today it ends.

**Pastor Ezekiel** · 12-20-2011, 04:40 AM

Re: I have found you

Dear joo;

Please explain for us the details of how you repented of your Christ-killing ways and turned your life over to Jesus. How did you get perfected?

Do you still crave gefilte fish sometimes?

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

**Saul Steinberg** · 12-20-2011, 05:11 PM

Re: I have found you

Whoa whoa whoa... to set the record straight I am not a Jew. My Christian parents died and unfortunately I had Jewish godparents. I was 12 years old when it happened and as soon as they got custody they changed my name. I used to be Mike French. I was raised along side them but my convictions run deeper than 9 years of living on a Jew farm.

As for being perfected, I don't know. What I do know is that Ann Coulter is nothing more than a test from god to see if we are able to abstain from masturbation. I would never

**Zechariah Smyth** · 12-20-2011, 05:33 PM

Re: I have found you

Originally posted by Saul Steinberg View Post

Whoa whoa whoa... to set the record straight I am not a Jew. My Christian parents died and unfortunately I had Jewish godparents. I was 12 years old when it happened and as soon as they got custody they changed my name. I used to be Mike French. I was raised along side them but my convictions run deeper than 9 years of living on a Jew farm.

As for being perfected, I don't know. What I do know is that Ann Coulter is nothing more than a test from god to see if we are able to abstain from masturbation. I would never

What's up with the turkey-bacon?

YiC,

Zech

**Rev. M. Rodimer** · 12-20-2011, 05:37 PM

Re: I have found you

Originally posted by Saul Steinberg View Post

I have been on a spiritual journey to find the holiest of holy and today, my brothers, I think I have found you.

The day began like most others. I was eating my eggs and turkey bacon reading the paper when I noticed a small ad for the Landover Baptist in the classifieds.

Why would you eat turkey bacon and make dreidel references if you're not a Jew?

Also, do tell, in what newspaper did you see this classified ad? What did it say? Could you post a copy of it?

The Pastors are always happy to hear what outreach methods are the most effective.

**Abner Leopold** · 12-20-2011, 07:44 PM

Re: I have found you

Exodus 10:3 And Moses and Aaron came in unto Pharaoh, and said unto him, Thus saith the LORD God of the Hebrews, How long wilt thou refuse to humble thyself before me? let my people go, that they may serve me.

Your picture looks more like

a Steinberg, than a French to me. I'm a lot skeptical!

**JustGotSaved** · 12-20-2011, 09:14 PM

Re: I have found you

Originally posted by Saul Steinberg View Post

Well it all started around two summers ago. I was raised in a like-minded community that didn't get too many outsiders. Well one day me and the misses decided we should fly the coop and move into our own house.. I went through the village trying to find someone who knew how to build us a house when I discovered we murdered the last one of us that knew how to work with his hands.

That's when my journey began and today it ends.

Um, you murdered a Carpenter?

And yet, not a jew?

**tomasespensen** · 12-21-2011, 04:37 AM

Re: I have found you

Why are you people so hostile, and think that everyone is here to either mock you or persucute you?

Pastor Billy-Reuben did a real good wecome post here
If you are an atheist, and you are here to debate the existence of God with us, or to correct our understanding of science, then this section is for you.

Let me give you the following protips:
First of all, I would like to encourage you to lurk a little more first. Read some old threads. See which arguments failed miserably before attempting them yourself. You might also find that we know far more about the nature of God than you give us credit for.
Remain calm and reasonable. As a proud atheist, you certainly don't want to make the "fundies" appear to be more reasonable than the atheists.............. *..........
Think for yourself. Don't just spout atheist propaganda that you have read on the internet. We have read it all already. We know all of the apologetics, counter-apologetics, counter-counter-apologetics, etc. If you don't have any original arguments for atheism, you have no business debating with seasoned fundamentalist Christians.
Don't just copy and paste from the Skeptics Annotated Bible. I'm not going to discourage you from reading it, because at least you are reading the Bible and thinking about God's Word, snide comments in the margins notwithstanding. However, if you are just copying and pasting from it, or any other source, you are not thinking for yourself, and you will be dumbfounded when we tell you why each and every one of Steve Wells' objections is nonsense. You can read it, but don't use it as a substitute for thinking for yourself.

If you are a Muslim, Catholic, Pagan, or other non-Christian, and you are here for some interfaith dialog, then this section is for you.

Welcome, friend. If you are here in a spirit of peace and wish to learn more about our religion, and want to teach us more about your religion, then you are welcome here. If you are here because you think we are intolerant of your religion, then please go back and read the previous section.

Keep in mind, however, that most of us are well educated. If your religion has been around for a while and has a large enough following, then it is likely that we have already studied your religion in depth.

Also keep in mind, that our religion tells us that salvation comes only through Jesus Christ, and that if you aren't a Christian, then you will be damned to the fiery pits of Hell for all eternity. We aren't gloating about this. We treat this fact with all of the solemnity that it deserves. We will not give up on you until we have saved you from this fate.

All in all it seams to me that you use more time mock your guest then try to inleghten us, even the internet is floating with trolls, its not all that visit you that are, infact after reading arround the forum, it seems to ma that alot of the "trolling, mocking people" here was turned that way by, becourse you rejected them at their verry 1st post

1 Peter 2:4
4 To whom coming, as unto a living stone, disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, and precious,

How can you tell that people here dident came to this side as the will of God?

**Redeemed Papist** · 12-21-2011, 05:06 AM

Re: I have found you

Tomas,

We're not here to be your friend. We're here to warn you about that Jesus wants from you so you won't burn forever in Hell and to save you from being duped by false Christians who haven't even read the Bible so you think you'll be saved when in fact you will be damned for not following God's instructions in the Bible.

Sorry if you don't think God is nice. Perhaps you've been told edited highlights?

**Rev. M. Rodimer** · 12-21-2011, 06:08 AM

Re: I have found you

Originally posted by tomasespensen View Post

All in all it seams to me that you use more time mock your guest then try to inleghten us, even the internet is floating with trolls, its not all that visit you that are, infact after reading arround the forum, it seems to ma that alot of the "trolling, mocking people" here was turned that way by, becourse you rejected them at their verry 1st post

You mean like a trolling, mocking person who signed up, claiming to be a member of the (LaVeyan) Church of Satan, and quoting Anton LaVey's Satanic Bible, but denying that he's a LaVeyan Satanist?

We're not idiots, kid. We know trolls when we see them.

We put energy into guiding those who want guidance. We don't when idiots like you come here to try to mock us.

Get lost, troll.

**Alphonse Alban** · 12-21-2011, 02:29 PM

Re: I have found you

Originally posted by tomasespensen View Post

becourse you rejected them at their verry 1st post

No need to feel bitter because your feeble trolling attempt failed. Many better than you have tried before and failed as well.

**tomasespensen** · 12-21-2011, 03:29 PM

Re: I have found you

Originally posted by Alphonse Alban View Post

No need to feel bitter because your feeble trolling attempt failed. Many better than you have tried before and failed as well.

If i wanted to troll, wouldent i come here and claim you was all wrong? Wouldent i claim you all put up false evidence? This i do not, i belive in heaven and hell, however i dont believe that hell is a eternal bonfire, i belive that hell is where you can do things that in live is considered a sin, and some of theese things might be fun to do after death? I know this is my imagination of hell, i dont know what you think heaven is like, but i guess what you call hell i can call "heaven", however i would never call your heaven "hell", as i trust its peacefull and not bad in anyway, i just think theres more fun "downsstairs"

**Zechariah Smyth** · 12-21-2011, 04:37 PM

Re: I have found you

Originally posted by tomasespensen View Post

If i wanted to troll, wouldent i come here and claim you was all wrong? Wouldent i claim you all put up false evidence? This i do not, i belive in heaven and hell, however i dont believe that hell is a eternal bonfire, i belive that hell is where you can do things that in live is considered a sin, and some of theese things might be fun to do after death? I know this is my imagination of hell, i dont know what you think heaven is like, but i guess what you call hell i can call "heaven", however i would never call your heaven "hell", as i trust its peacefull and not bad in anyway, i just think theres more fun "downsstairs"

Trollness takes many forms...you just happened to pick the one that is the easiest to spot. BUT, no matter the manner of Jesus-hating troll that pops up here, it usually only takes a post or two to determine the ulterior motive(s).

Don't feel bad: you're simply not up to the task. It's all part of God's Plan:

(Ephesians 3:20) "Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us."

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

I have found you

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