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  • #1

    Hello I am John Kurn!

    I am John Kurn. I am 52 years old, and married. My wife has given me 3 sons, and 1 girl. We would like more children, but I have had some trouble with getting an erection . I attend Woodside Baptist Church, and my favorite Bible verse is Matthew 10:34, because I hate them granola hippies smoking their pot. I found Jesus when I was 13 years old, and The Good Lord saved my life. I was in a car accident, and I should've died, but I knew right then, and there Jesus had saved me. So I picked up a KJV, and went on down to the closest Baptist Church, and became a Christian. I hope you let me stay for a while it would be such an honor!
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  • #2
    Re: Hello I am John Kurn!

    Hello Mr. Kurn, welcome to our friendly forums!
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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    • #3
      Re: Hello I am John Kurn!

      P.S I am a member of the KKK. I Don't hate all negros, but the ones who refuse to change I despise with every fiber of my being, but there are some negros who are willing to change.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Hello I am John Kurn!

        Originally posted by John Kurn View Post
        P.S I am a member of the KKK. I Don't hate all negros, but the ones who refuse to change I despise with every fiber of my being, but there are some negros who are willing to change.
        Why all the bitterness and hate, friend? The LORD promises you longsuffering should you choose to accept the gift of the Holy Spirit. (Galatians 5:22)

        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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        • #5
          Re: Hello I am John Kurn!

          Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
          Why all the bitterness and hate, friend? The LORD promises you longsuffering should you choose to accept the gift of the Holy Spirit. (Galatians 5:22)

          Sorry if I came off to be hateful Mrs.Etheldreda I apologize for it. Like I said I don't hate ALL blacks, but the street thug gangsters i hate them, because they MOCK GOD Psalm 14:1 . Let me give you an example! I see a black man on the side of the road, and he strikes up a conversation with me. I talk to him, and I am polite, and I ask him if he has accepted Jesus Christ as Lord, and Savior. He says yes. I accept him as a friend. He says no he is a gangbanger. I hate him.

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          • #6
            Re: Hello I am John Kurn!

            Hi John! So what's the deal with your defective tallywhacker? Is your wife repulsive? Have you tried prayer?

            Yours in Christ,

            Z. Smyth
            sigpic

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Hello I am John Kurn!

              Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
              Hi John! So what's the deal with your defective tallywhacker? Is your wife repulsive? Have you tried prayer?

              Yours in Christ,

              Z. Smyth
              Ahh this is very hard to talk about Sir, but The Lord is telling me I must. You see I just can't get it up like I used to when I was young. Why would it matter if my wife was repulsive I don't look at her with lust anyways. Matthew 5:28 Exodus 20:14. I have tried praying, but it isn't working .

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              • #8
                Re: Hello I am John Kurn!

                Who said anything about lust? Don't put words in my mouth, friend.



                (Proverbs 14:5) "A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies."

                YiC,

                Zech
                sigpic

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                • #9
                  Re: Hello I am John Kurn!

                  Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
                  Who said anything about lust? Don't put words in my mouth, friend.



                  (Proverbs 14:5) "A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies."

                  YiC,

                  Zech
                  Oh Sir, I didn't mean it like that I thought you were testing me! How is one supposed to get an erection without lust though? I thought it was a test my apologies Sir!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Hello I am John Kurn!

                    Originally posted by John Kurn View Post
                    We would like more children, but I have had some trouble with getting an erection .
                    Are you really having trouble getting an erection, or is your wife just not responsive between three and six a.m.?
                    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Hello I am John Kurn!

                      Originally posted by John Kurn View Post
                      P.S I am a member of the KKK. I Don't hate all negros, but the ones who refuse to change I despise with every fiber of my being, but there are some negros who are willing to change.
                      I guess being a member of the KKK makes you a really good Christian.

                      A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Hello I am John Kurn!

                        Originally posted by John Kurn View Post
                        P.S I am a member of the KKK. I Don't hate all negros, but the ones who refuse to change I despise with every fiber of my being, but there are some negros who are willing to change.
                        That's a terrible thing to say. Being Christian is all about love and fellowship. Not being beastly to each other based on skin colour or decisions made in life predicated on one's socioeconomic position in life: an accident of birth, if you will.

                        The Designer has made people different but equal. A white man is a better swimmer but a slower runner than a black man. An oriental is smaller but more cunning. The Designer planned this all out for obvious reasons and He shall not be mocked by racialists like you.

                        You are an awful man.
                        I whore for Satan

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Hello I am John Kurn!

                          Originally posted by John Kurn View Post
                          P.S I am a member of the KKK. I Don't hate all negros, but the ones who refuse to change I despise with every fiber of my being, but there are some negros who are willing to change.
                          What in the holy scriptures motivates you to be so hateful towards negroes?
                          sigpic
                          Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                          John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                          Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                          The truth about volcanos
                          Sex and debauchery in public schools
                          Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                          God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                          Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Hello I am John Kurn!

                            Originally posted by John Kurn View Post
                            I have tried praying, but it isn't working .
                            It seems to me that you only have your self to blame. If God has decided to wilt your penile member you have by definition done something to deserve it. Or are you calling God a liar?

                            Mark 11:24 - Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

                            Philippians 4:6 - Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

                            You better ask yourself some serious questions, pal.

                            YIC
                            1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                            Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                            Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Hello I am John Kurn!

                              It's my feeling that "impotence" is an excuse guys use when they want to stop siring sons for Jesus.

                              A guy looks at what it will cost him to feed and clothe another kid for the next 18 years and he decides he'd rather spend that money on a new tractor and suddenly he's "impotent."

                              Funny how that works.

                              But anyway, I'm glad to know you Mr. Kurn, and I hope you're being honest about your Johnson.
                              WARNING:
                              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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