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  • Malencia
    Unsaved trash, Wiccan Dyke pot smoking whore
    • Feb 2013
    • 26
    #1

    Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

    So here I am...
    1. I don't go to church (in fact, I haven't been to a church service since I was about 4 or 5 years old - I've been to weddings and funerals held in churches a few times since then, though)
    2. I don't really read the bible, so I can't really answer the "what's your favorite bible verse" question...
    3. Given the above answers, I think you can guess what my answer to the "Jesus" question
    4. I work as an office assistant for a local paper (I don't get make a whole lot on my paycheck, but it's enough to pay my bills, so I can't really complain )
    5. My favorite color is pink.
    I'm not sure what other information you want.
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556
      #2
      Re: Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

      Originally posted by Malencia View Post
      So here I am...
      1. I don't go to church (in fact, I haven't been to a church service since I was about 4 or 5 years old - I've been to weddings and funerals held in churches a few times since then, though)
      2. I don't really read the bible, so I can't really answer the "what's your favorite bible verse" question...
      3. Given the above answers, I think you can guess what my answer to the "Jesus" question
      4. I work as an office assistant for a local paper (I don't get make a whole lot on my paycheck, but it's enough to pay my bills, so I can't really complain )
      5. My favorite color is pink.
      I'm not sure what other information you want.
      Why are you here? This is a Christian forum you know. Unsaved = Unwelcome
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Malencia
          Unsaved trash, Wiccan Dyke pot smoking whore
          • Feb 2013
          • 26
          #3
          Re: Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
          Why are you here? This is a Christian forum you know. Unsaved = Unwelcome
          I was looking for recipes through Google and I found this thread: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=58926

            Comment

            • Paragon of virtue
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
              • Jan 2013
              • 547
              #4
              Re: Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

              Well I got a recipe for you witch!


              Ingredients:

              One Sinner
              Great Blasphemous Disbelief in a Holy God

              Directions:

              Throw sinful siren into a lake of fire and brimstone heated to the Nth degree

              Simmer for all eternity

              Serving Suggestions

              As an example of how to live a horrible life and be justly rewarded for the wages of sins.


              Bon Apatite!

                Comment

                • BelieverInGod
                  Fourm Member
                  Forum Member
                  • Feb 2010
                  • 9269
                  #5
                  Re: Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

                  Originally posted by Malencia View Post
                  I was looking for recipes through Google and I found this thread: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=58926
                  What were you looking up? How to cook babies? There's no recipes in that thread.
                  Drama queen

                    Comment

                    • Malencia
                      Unsaved trash, Wiccan Dyke pot smoking whore
                      • Feb 2013
                      • 26
                      #6
                      Re: Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

                      Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
                      What were you looking up? How to cook babies? There's no recipes in that thread.
                      Ewww, no! I was looking for a broccoli and cheese casserole recipe (I had one written down before, but I haven't made it in a while and lost the recipe)

                        Comment

                        • Malencia
                          Unsaved trash, Wiccan Dyke pot smoking whore
                          • Feb 2013
                          • 26
                          #7
                          Re: Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

                          Originally posted by Paragon of virtue View Post
                          Well I got a recipe for you witch!


                          Ingredients:

                          One Sinner
                          Great Blasphemous Disbelief in a Holy God

                          Directions:

                          Throw sinful siren into a lake of fire and brimstone heated to the Nth degree

                          Simmer for all eternity

                          Serving Suggestions

                          As an example of how to live a horrible life and be justly rewarded for the wages of sins.


                          Bon Apatite!
                          That's funny!

                            Comment

                            • Brother Helge
                              True Christian™
                              True Christian™
                              • Jan 2010
                              • 1074
                              #8
                              Re: Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

                              Originally posted by Malencia View Post
                              That's funny!
                              It wasn't meant to be...

                              Why do you hate Jesus?
                              "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
                              John 8:32

                                Comment

                                • Sammy The Penitent
                                  Forum Member
                                  Forum Member
                                  • Nov 2012
                                  • 289
                                  #9
                                  Re: Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

                                  Originally posted by Malencia View Post
                                  I was looking for recipes through Google and I found this thread: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=58926

                                  That thread provides warnings to good Christians about the evils of witch and lesbian cook books. Are you using this information for your own vile purposes?
                                  2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.

                                    Comment

                                    • James Hutchins
                                      True Christian™
                                      Just a Regular Nice Guy
                                       
                                      • Jun 2009
                                      • 29453
                                      #10
                                      Re: Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

                                      It simply amazes me that people today have to to be told to introduce themselves. What ever happened with proper manners.

                                      Ever since Letitia Baldrige went to heaven, decorum has gone the opposite way straight to Hell.
                                      Attached Files
                                      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                                      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                                      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                                      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                                      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                                      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                                        Comment

                                        • Redeemed Papist
                                          Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light(c)
                                          True Christian™
                                          • Jul 2011
                                          • 10409
                                          #11
                                          Re: Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

                                          Originally posted by Malencia View Post
                                          That's funny!
                                          There's nothing funny about Hell. Why does the thought of millions of unbelieving scum burning forever in torment make you laugh? what kind of monster are you?
                                          sigpic
                                          Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                                          John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                                          Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                                          The truth about volcanos
                                          Sex and debauchery in public schools
                                          Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                                          God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                                          Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                                            Comment

                                            • Malencia
                                              Unsaved trash, Wiccan Dyke pot smoking whore
                                              • Feb 2013
                                              • 26
                                              #12
                                              Re: Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

                                              Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
                                              There's nothing funny about Hell. Why does the thought of millions of unbelieving scum burning forever in torment make you laugh? what kind of monster are you?
                                              That's not the part that's funny (that's more boring actually - heard it too many times), it was him putting it in the form of a recipe that was funny.


                                              That thread provides warnings to good Christians about the evils of witch and lesbian cook books. Are you using this information for your own vile purposes?
                                              I was looking for a recipe for a broccoli and cheese casserole, and those books were new to me... What's so vile about that?

                                                Comment

                                                • Dr Laurence Niles
                                                  Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
                                                   
                                                  • Jan 2012
                                                  • 9063
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

                                                  Originally posted by Malencia View Post
                                                  What's so vile about that?
                                                  Young man, Jesus obviously brought you here for a reason. Rather than get bogged down in this obsession you have with Lady Lesbians why not take this opportunity to learn about God?

                                                  YIC
                                                  1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                                                  Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                                                  Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Malencia
                                                      Unsaved trash, Wiccan Dyke pot smoking whore
                                                      • Feb 2013
                                                      • 26
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

                                                      Originally posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
                                                      Young man, Jesus obviously brought you here for a reason. Rather than get bogged down in this obsession you have with Lady Lesbians why not take this opportunity to learn about God?

                                                      YIC
                                                      You mean young lady...
                                                      Google brought me here, and I don't have an obsession with "lady lesbians".

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Didymus Much
                                                          Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                                                          • Jun 2010
                                                          • 14079
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Someone private messaged me and told me I had to make an intro thread...

                                                          Originally posted by Malencia View Post
                                                          ...I don't have an obsession with "lady lesbians".
                                                          Not even a little bit?

                                                          Whatever. Have you read the Bible yet?

                                                            Comment

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