The Salvation Army

[BrotherLarry]

As in many cities, the Salvation Army is incessantly ringing bells on many street corners in their quest to help the sinful and lazy poor during the gay Yuletide. The beggar at 34th and Broadway has a photo of a small waif with a speech balloon saying “Will you help me get mommy a coat for Christmas?” I blurted out, “Use the money you got from the photo shoot,” and someone heard me.

“This is the giving season, sir,” she tried to guilt me.

My God is a rich God but He expects us to work for what we receive. If someone isn’t getting a coat just because I don’t support the bell ringers with a quarter, I suspect there is more sinister behind it than the eye can see. Here sits Pastor Ezekiel still with no new airplane and I am supposed to feel guilty about some woman freezing to death? Which takes priority in God’s Eyes?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: The Salvation Army

I'd be careful of these characters. You know that The Salvation Army has a magazine?

Well, years back I like you, felt pressured to give, even though I know that giving to Landover is far more worthwhile.

I was in a bar, hoping to save souls when in staggered, under the weight of the demon drink, what we now have to call "one of the homeless" but what we then called "bums". He was obviously a failed atheist or a defrocked catick priest but pity came upon me at his ragged appearance.

Spare a dime, friend," he said, "Salvation Army. It's Christmas."

So I looked in my pockets for a dime and gave it him. He did not seem particularly grateful and, taking it, turned away. So I said, "Hey, give me a WarCry."

You know what he did? He shouted "GERONIMO!" and fell to the floor unconscious.

The moral is that all these people collecting your money for no work are frauds and criminals. They live in fine houses and have expensive tastes in women and automobiles. They often earn more than the President by their begging.

If you are ever tempted to give money, give it, as I say, to Landover.

[Isabella White]

Re: The Salvation Army

Oh, my goodness, dear Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry! You poor darling, having to go through that nonsense. How I praise for your courage in using your voice to let those people know the truth of the situation. Why, have they never heard of this precious nugget of wisdom? helps those who help themselves!

It wouldn't surprise me -- no, not at all -- if the Salvation Army is being overtaken with some of those socialist Demonrat people working in their midst. You know, as I was doing some shopping the other day, I had to pass one of these Sally Ann members, and to attract people into giving money, she was doing a little dance as she rang her bell. That seems to be their new trend, as you'll see in the attached photo. And, poor Pastor Ezekiel, having to suffer the injustice of this type of drama used to distract him from his much-needed new jet. How it must grieve the so.

A blessed day to you, my dear Larry,
Lovingly, Granny Isabella

[Basilissa]

Re: The Salvation Army

“This is the giving season, sir,” she tried to guilt me.

It certainly is. Which is why I've doubled my tithes this month.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: The Salvation Army

What on earth are they doing?

[Basilissa]

Re: The Salvation Army

What on earth are they doing?

Well, whatever it is - I'm offended by that image, because Salvation Army in my area never looks that cool. The same homeless bums who beg throughout the year, now are the official Salvation Army beggars.

Nice... But not thrilling. I expect triple Salchows and quod Lutzes from you during these dire days.

Yes, Sir! I'll talk to Enrique.

[Isabella White]

Re: The Salvation Army

What on earth are they doing?

Oh, I have no idea whatsoever, dear Sister Mitza, but I think it's probably their way of popularizing themselves by throwing themselves at people as they pass by. It's probably the equivalent of that twerking fad that reached popularity a while ago. Gyrating and twisting have no place in the daily activities of anybody who claims to represent the Gospel of . Disgusting! Then again, we, as servants of Almighty, know what the has to say about such things. That those Salvation Army pretenders would ignore this is not surprising, not at all!

I Corinthians 6:19, 20:
19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

Matthew 7:21-23:
21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

A blessed day to you, Dear,
Sincerely, Isabella W,