[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Okay, I'm supposed to be leaving tomorrow....What the heck is happening?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Well, it's official; Papa Ben

Is that like Papa Doc?

is Down Under!

Glory! He's in Hell. I knew Satan would take his own!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080713/ap_on_re_au_an/australia_pope

Catholic Answers (the group led by Karl Keating) is going to be passing out copies of their booklet Pillar of Fire, Pillar of Truth to the youth there.

You missed out the Pillock of Rome

[Wide-Open]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Well I'm all stoked for our huge Mission to Austria that's coming up. I haven't kept up with all the details, but I assume everything is going just fine. When am I supposed to leave? anyone got my itinerary?

I don't think I can help you Pastor.

I had a few problems of my own.



But anyway: I'M HERE!

Now just need to find the others. Will keep you up to date.

Matthew 25:14
For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Well, it's official; Papa Ben is Down Under!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080713/ap_on_re_au_an/australia_pope

Are you LBCers equipped to hand out your meaningless tracts? Well, we have a counter plan; Catholic Answers (the group led by Karl Keating) is going to be passing out copies of their booklet Pillar of Fire, Pillar of Truth to the youth there.

Maybe they'll keep your tracts though...would work great in case they need spare toilet paper!

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Have you convinced them to change that unGodly name yet?

Im leaving that task in the hands of the new converts. My role here is very much 'behind the scenes' as it were...
On a brighter note we did manage to destroy every book by pro-evilutionists in the darwin library!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Well I'm all stoked for our huge Mission to Austria that's coming up. I haven't kept up with all the details, but I assume everything is going just fine. When am I supposed to leave? anyone got my itinerary?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

I am pleased to announce my fact -finding mission to Darwin has been an overwhelming success.

Have you convinced them to change that unGodly name yet?

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

I am pleased to announce my fact -finding mission to Darwin has been an overwhelming success. We have gathered upwards of 100 converts and collected over $100,000.00 I am leaving this fledgling ministry in capable hands, and am now heading down to Perth in Western Australia to bring the Light of Jesus to those who dwell in darkness with the crawling things etc.etc.
I'm landing at Midnight at Perth Airport on Saturday night, accompanied by a 2 man security attachment as I don't expect any trouble. At least not at first. Once the words of Jesus sear into their collective consciousness like a red hot branding iron applied to a virgins creamy white buttocks, thats when we'll get some bucking and howling and demons manifesting and all that jazz. I'll keep y'all updated on the Heathens in Perth, which is, by the way, the WORLDS MOST ISOLATED CITY!!.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Now that explains everything!



If I posted a pic of a world map, would you be even able to pint out the difference between Austria and Australia? How are you people even able to get here? You don't know how to spell it.

So our Godly True Christian™ Brother Wide-Open made a typo. Can you say you've never done the same?

Meanwhile, from reading the WHOLE thread, I know that Landover's mission is to educate you Foster's swilling drunk and morbidly obese descendants of rapists and murderers about Jesus, not weather forecasting or typing!

[Nobar King]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

I think a pint is the same in Austria and Australia.

Also, you're lucky that we don't just dump our convicts on you sorry lot.

[bung79]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Almost. "Shelter schooled" would be more appropriate. I spent most of my youth in a bomb shelter my dad built to protect us from the Mooslims. As we are still constantly under attack here, I continue to spend most time there, reading my KJV. That may explain why I look so pale.

Now that explains everything!

Anyway, this isn't about me, but about our mission to Austria! Stop derailing this thread.

If I posted a pic of a world map, would you be even able to pint out the difference between Austria and Australia? How are you people even able to get here? You don't know how to spell it.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Were you another one who was home schooled?

Almost. "Shelter schooled" would be more appropriate. I spent most of my youth in a bomb shelter my dad built to protect us from the Mooslims. As we are still constantly under attack here, I continue to spend most time there, reading my KJV. That may explain why I look so pale.

Anyway, this isn't about me, but about our mission to Austria! Stop derailing this thread.

[bung79]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

How can a flat earth have hemispheres?

That doesn't make sense at all.

Isaiah 11:12
And he shall set up an ensign for the nations, and shall assemble the outcasts of Israel, and gather together the dispersed of Judah from the four corners of the earth.

Four corners of the earth is simply an expression. One that was made up before it was proved the earth is actually round. Were you another one who was home schooled?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

How can a flat earth have hemispheres?

That doesn't make sense at all.

Isaiah 11:12
And he shall set up an ensign for the nations, and shall assemble the outcasts of Israel, and gather together the dispersed of Judah from the four corners of the earth.

[bung79]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

.... and we hope this whole misunderstanding will be cleared up in time to have the two of them join up with the others in September. Any later than than October and it's possible Australia may be too snowed in for anyone to land there safely, or as safe as is possible on that remote jungle outpost.

Any properly educated person would know that countries in the southern hemispheres have their winter in the middle of the year and summer at the end and beginning of the year. Whats funny is that you're sending people here to try and 'educate' us? Now thats what I call funny!