Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

[handmaiden]

Okay, this woman that I used to work with--nutty space cadet, insists she "knows" the Bible and that it's misogynistic and barbaric--commented that she had a lump of some kind in her external lady parts and said something about growing a testicle.

So, I have to ask two questions. Is it possible for a female to grow a testicle? And what possible lady part could be "external"? Is that even a thing?


I, personally, try to keep as much distance between me and my lady parts as possible, so I don't really know what she's talking about.


Perplexedly Yours,


Handmaiden

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

It's likely a lymphedama. Common among women, given that many are overweight (or even obese) to begin with.

No, women cannot grow testicles. That would confuse God's order.

Genesis 5:2 "Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created."

She likely was experimenting with her box, and God rightfully smited her. She should be ashamed of herself and ask Him for forgiveness.

Praise Jesus that you do not entertain even looking at your naughty bits!


In Christ

[James Hutchins]

Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

God always says it best:
2 Peter 3:16
As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.

What doubt can anyone have after reading that?

[Michael Hezekiah Esq]

Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

It's likely a lymphedama. Common among women, given that many are overweight (or even obese) to begin with.

No, women cannot grow testicles. That would confuse God's order.

Genesis 5:2 "Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created."

She likely was experimenting with her box, and God rightfully smited her. She should be ashamed of herself and ask Him for forgiveness.

Praise Jesus that you do not entertain even looking at your naughty bits!


In Christ

Nonsense.

In Jewish tradition female masturbation is allowed when it’s for exploring oneself and one’s sexual feelings, a Jewish author named Grunberg said. It is valuable for gaining knowledge about the different parts of your anatomy through touch, which is needed to be a sexually knowledgeable women in order to communicate without fear your sexual needs to your partner.
Grunberg also stated that women exploring their beautiful labia and clitoris may keep them from having premarital sex, since many women have strong sex drives (some even stronger than men).
This woman is not suffering any punishment from G_d. G_d has many more important things to do than watch the millions of women who masturbate EVERY DAY without harm to themselves or others. The woman should consult with a good doctor and ensure there is no harm to her body. May she have a good and long life.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

Nonsense.

In Jewish tradition female masturbation is allowed when it’s for exploring oneself and one’s sexual feelings, a Jewish author named Grunberg said. It is valuable for gaining knowledge about the different parts of your anatomy through touch, which is needed to be a sexually knowledgeable women in order to communicate without fear your sexual needs to your partner.
Grunberg also stated that women exploring their beautiful labia and clitoris may keep them from having premarital sex, since many women have strong sex drives (some even stronger than men).
This woman is not suffering any punishment from G_d. G_d has many more important things to do than watch the millions of women who masturbate EVERY DAY without harm to themselves or others. The woman should consult with a good doctor and ensure there is no harm to her body. May she have a good and long life.

And what kind of joo talk is that - Ashkenazic, Sephardic, Karaite, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, or Reconstructionis?

Quote the Torah or it didn't happen.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

Nonsense.

In Jewish tradition female masturbation is allowed when it’s for exploring oneself and one’s sexual feelings, a Jewish author named Grunberg said.

Is that Abbie Grunberg who, when arrested, was found to have a porn collection of Biblical proportions?

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

Okay, this woman that I used to work with--nutty space cadet, insists she "knows" the Bible and that it's misogynistic and barbaric--commented that she had a lump of some kind in her external lady parts and said something about growing a testicle.

So, I have to ask two questions. Is it possible for a female to grow a testicle? And what possible lady part could be "external"? Is that even a thing?

I have a third question: why would anyone want to grow a single testicle? I mean, they usually come in pairs, unless you're planning to annex Poland or something.

YiC
Joanna

[Nobar King]

Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

I thought it said she had a glowing testicle, and I was really worried. That would be really bad.

[handmaiden]

Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

Praise Jesus that you do not entertain even looking at your naughty bits!

You betcha! I figure there's a reason why they're so far away from my head and generally so inaccessible.


It seems to me that the most Christian thing that I can do is to pretend like they're not even there.


In Denially Yours,


Handmaiden

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

You betcha! I figure there's a reason why they're so far away from my head and generally so inaccessible.


It seems to me that the most Christian thing that I can do is to pretend like they're not even there.


In Denially Yours,


Handmaiden

Amen Sister! I have known so many weak women that have contorted themselves, trying to reach themselves, orally.


And even more men that have fractured their vertebrae, in desperate attempts to achieve auto-fellatio.


Most are now quadriplegic and would ask Jesus to forgive them and give them one more chance to to not indulge in the filthy self-sin.


1 Corinthians 6:18 "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body."


In Christ

[handmaiden]

Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

Amen Sister! I have known so many weak women that have contorted themselves, trying to reach themselves, orally.

It makes you wonder if the Lord wouldn't bless those who come up with some sort of surgical solution. All that a True Christian™ female really needs, is those parts that nudge out the petri dish for a husband to plant his seed in and a vessel full of dirt in which to grow the seed.


Seems to me that all those other parts are needlessly complicated and far too high maintenance given how little value they add to God's Great Plan.


Streamlinedly Yours,


Handmaiden

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

Nonsense.

In Jewish tradition female masturbation is allowed when it’s for exploring oneself and one’s sexual feelings, a Jewish author named Grunberg said. It is valuable for gaining knowledge about the different parts of your anatomy through touch, which is needed to be a sexually knowledgeable women in order to communicate without fear your sexual needs to your partner.
Grunberg also stated that women exploring their beautiful labia and clitoris may keep them from having premarital sex, since many women have strong sex drives (some even stronger than men).
This woman is not suffering any punishment from G_d. G_d has many more important things to do than watch the millions of women who masturbate EVERY DAY without harm to themselves or others. The woman should consult with a good doctor and ensure there is no harm to her body. May she have a good and long life.

For shame! I'm a widow and heaven forbid, I have no warm feelings towards the marital act. My husband was a proper Christian man and our purpose of it was for procreating and for me to birth sons for Jesus! Also, your vulgar and explicit acts of harlotry are not fit for anyone's eyes, much less the young, unmarried Christian ladies on this site! Jesus will smite you for your vulgar and inappropriate thoughts as stated in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.

[handmaiden]

Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

beautiful labia and clitoris

I don't know what those things are, but if they are associated with someone's nether regions, I don't think they can be beautiful.


If they're part of a woman's nether regions, then there is a reason our Good Lord put them out of sight.


Staunchly Yours,


Handmaiden

[Michael Hezekiah Esq]

Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

For shame! I'm a widow and heaven forbid, I have no warm feelings towards the marital act. My husband was a proper Christian man and our purpose of it was for procreating and for me to birth sons for Jesus! Also, your vulgar and explicit acts of harlotry are not fit for anyone's eyes, much less the young, unmarried Christian ladies on this site! Jesus will smite you for your vulgar and inappropriate thoughts as stated in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.

Oh calm down sweetheart. Aren't you the one whose rogue preacher husband was murdered? And aren't you the one that my client Brother Larry was wanting to hook up with? He could do much better, apparently. It's ok to admit you enjoyed having sex with your husband, but if you truly didn't, perhaps it's because you haven't had the right guy.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Female Co-Worker Claims to Be Growing Testicle!?

Deuteronomy 22:5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

If God doesn't want you to even wear opposite sex clothes how could He make a perfect human with the wrong genitals happening on them? This woman is clearly deranged and should be referred to a pastor for demon removal.