Floods in Texas

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Can I please ask all Prayer Warriors to stop praying for rain! And, in future, please coordinate your efforts through John Creeser, Titus Templeton or myself.

Also, please restrain yourselves from free-lancing. This "Free-for-all praying" must stop!

I refer you to the Rulebook on Prayer:

1145(a) Alleviation of Drought within the US:

Two Prayer Warriors for your average sized town
Five Prayer Warriors for Godly places like Oklahoma City and Charleston
10 for godless large cities on the West Coast
15 for a Christian state
25 for a godless state that might harbor some persecuted brethren.
36 for Oregon.

This was ridiculous - at one time there were 53 Prayer Warriors working on Texas! FIFTY-THREE, people! Did nobody think of a flood!!!???


Look at the damage you have caused!

[Basilissa]

Re: Floods in Texas

Very good point, Brother Bathfire. Christians need to understand that God grants each prayer separately, which means that prayers are cumulative. We need to be much more thoughtful in planning our prayers.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Floods in Texas

I've been praying against rain for California and it looks like it's working. I don't think God listens to papists.

California bishops pray for rain as state's drought continues

Sacramento, Calif., Jan 12, 2014 / 06:08 am (CNA).- The Catholic bishops of California have called for prayers for rain to bring relief to the drought in the state, as well as for those threatened by the lack of water.

"May God open the heavens and let his mercy rain down upon our fields and mountains," said the prayer composed by Bishop Jaime Soto of Sacramento. "Let us especially pray for those most impacted by water shortages and for the wisdom and charity to be good stewards of this precious gift."

…

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/california-bishops-pray-for-rain-as-states-drought-continues/

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Floods in Texas

The High Mayor of Houston is a homosexual of the type usually called lesbian. She is of the womanly persuasion and that is the sex she was born with, as far as I know. I believe it is possible that this flood was sent for the purpose of drowning the people of Houston, as opposed to an accident caused by an over abundance of prayer. On the contrary, I doubt there's been a Christian to pray to the Lord in Houston in years.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Floods in Texas

I have an ex in Houston who is now a lesbian and plans on marrying. I was just having fantasies and inadvertently prayed for her to drown. Next time I will be more specific, e.g. drown in a bathtub etc. I apologize.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Floods in Texas

I have an ex in Houston who is now a lesbian and plans on marrying.

Well, that's good news. How was she cured?

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Floods in Texas

I have an ex in Houston who is now a lesbian and plans on marrying. I was just having fantasies and inadvertently prayed for her to drown. Next time I will be more specific, e.g. drown in a bathtub etc. I apologize.

God has made Houston flat. Sinners have always been drawn there. One thing they have done is to "improve" the landscape by filling all the creeks with concrete. For some reason, the Devil's people object to good drainage. Thus, when the rains come, the city floods. This always happens to the astonishment of the Houstonians, most of whom are perverts, Yankees and Guatamalans. They have short memories, it would seem, as this happens about twice in the average year.


I believe that the Lord intends to destroy Houston, possibly with a great flood. Also, the Texas cities of Dallas and Austin likely rank high on the smite list. Large cities always attract larcenous and Hell bound souls: Yankees, homosexuals and other Democrats are the best example. Even Texas is not immune.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Floods in Texas

Well, that's good news. How was she cured?

That's just it, brother. See, she plans on travelling to Joo York to falsify a Christian marriage with her lesbian husband and force the state of Texas to acknowledge it by invoking corrupt, liberal case law protecting ass sex. Nothing will cure this sinner of its repugnant crimes but a bucket of stones.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Floods in Texas

Well, the prayer brigade of women have prayed for rain in my hometown (a Christian gated town) and we are blessed with enough rain to sustain us (God provides as always, Hallelujah!) and none on the scum around us!

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Floods in Texas

I would like to put the members of the congregation at ease with regard to my own safety. Many will have no doubt noticed that the rain is continuing in Texas. I saw some TV news video of the flooded low water crossings right here in my own city and I know that many of you will have been worrying about me and my family. Thank you for your concern and your prayers, but I should point out that San Antonio is a hilly city. Only the unsaved and the poor people who live at the bottom of the hill get flooded when it rains. Our gated Christian communities are higher on the hill where we can enjoy the rain. We are safe and our lawns are watered. God Bless!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Floods in Texas

I would like to put the members of the congregation at ease with regard to my own safety. Many will have no doubt noticed that the rain is continuing in Texas. I saw some TV news video of the flooded low water crossings right here in my own city and I know that many of you will have been worrying about me and my family. Thank you for your concern and your prayers, but I should point out that San Antonio is a hilly city. Only the unsaved and the poor people who live at the bottom of the hill get flooded when it rains. Our gated Christian communities are higher on the hill where we can enjoy the rain. We are safe and our lawns are watered. God Bless!

I know that God will protect you brother. It is a relief to know that so many unsaved persons will perish while you laugh from the high ground of our Lord!