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  • #1

    Wife rating scale: how does YOUR wife stack up?





    My first 4 wives all scored 70+ before they got too old, though the filipina only scored around 50, and that worthless Russian loses her 40 points for running away.
    Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 02-22-2011, 11:11 PM.
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    Tags: ladies, wife, wives need to shut up, women aglow
  • #2
    Re: Wife rating scale: how does YOUR wife stack up?

    Hmm, that puts things into perspective. 20 demerits and 1 merit point so she scores -19.

    In her defense though, she's an Eskimo.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Wife rating scale: how does YOUR wife stack up?

      This is what I got for all my wives...
      Wife #1: 24
      Wife #2: 37
      Wife #3: 31
      Wife #4: 15
      Wife #5: 9

      Now you can see why I go through so many of them.

      Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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      • #4
        Re: Wife rating scale: how does YOUR wife stack up?

        Dear Friends,

        My ex-wife, may she burn in Hell, gets a negative score with this excellent rating system. If only I would have known before she seduced me into marrying her. "The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God." (Psalm 9:17)

        Yours in Christ,

        Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.
        How to Study the Bible - About HELL! - The Miracles of Jesus - Biblical Facts - Scientific PROOF

        THE BIBLE SAYS THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO HEAVEN!
        Jesus said: "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." John 14:6

        ONLY JESUS CAN SAVE YOU!

        "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus,
        and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him
        from the dead, thou shalt be saved." Romans 10:9

        1. Admit you are a worthless sinner. Romans 3:10
        2. Be willing to turn from sin (repent). Acts 17:30
        3. Believe that Jesus Christ died for you, was buried and
        rose from the dead. Romans 10:9-10
        4. Through prayer, invite Jesus into your life to become
        your personal Savior, Boss, King and Lord. Romans 10:13
        		What to Pray:

        Lord Jesus, I know that I have sinned against you.
        I know that I am not perfect and that I can never
        please you through my own efforts. I know that I
        deserve to be judged according to my sins. And, I
        know that I have absolutely nothing to offer you.

        Lord Jesus, I ask you to forgive me. I do not rely
        on myself but only on you and I receive you as
        Lord of my life and as savior of my soul.
        Lord Jesus, please save me!
        		Accepted Jesus as your Savior?
        Now you need to:

        1. Study your KJV Bible every day
        to get to know Christ better.
        2. Talk to God in prayer every day.
        3. Be baptized, worship, fellowship,
        and serve with other Christians
        in a church where Christ is preached,
        and the Bible is the final authority.
        4. Tell others about Jesus Christ
        until the day Jesus finally kills you.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Wife rating scale: how does YOUR wife stack up?

          Maybe you should stop rating your wives with some out-dated chart and start loving them 'as Christ loved the Church' (Ephesians 5:25).
          You might find yourselves forging much more healthy, loving relationships!
          "In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the slayer."
          Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
          <3

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Wife rating scale: how does YOUR wife stack up?

            Originally posted by felicitysparrow View Post
            Maybe you should stop rating your wives with some out-dated chart and start loving them 'as Christ loved the Church' (Ephesians 5:25).
            You might find yourselves forging much more healthy, loving relationships!
            Why is this always about us men? The world doesn't revolve around us. Women need to do their part in a successful, Christian relationship. A TRUE Christian woman KNOWS her husband loves her.

            Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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            Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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            • #7
              Re: Wife rating scale: how does YOUR wife stack up?

              Originally posted by felicitysparrow View Post
              Maybe you should stop rating your wives with some out-dated chart and start loving them 'as Christ loved the Church' (Ephesians 5:25).
              You might find yourselves forging much more healthy, loving relationships!
              Who are you to be handing out advice? You sound like a harpy.

              I pity your husband.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Wife rating scale: how does YOUR wife stack up?

                Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
                Why is this always about us men? The world doesn't revolve around us. Women need to do their part in a successful, Christian relationship. A TRUE Christian woman KNOWS her husband loves her.
                Of course it's not just about men, a Godly relationship means mutual love and on both sides, it's not just one gender's responsibility.
                However, you seem to have skipped over the fact that in the passage I gave you, it does explicitly say that men should love thier wives as Christ loved the Church: the ultimate love. Why this certainly isn't just about men, 'rating' your wives is barely showing the ultimate, unconditional love of Christ.
                "In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the slayer."
                Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
                <3

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Wife rating scale: how does YOUR wife stack up?

                  For those who don't know, here's the full test




                  PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

                  Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

                  Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Wife rating scale: how does YOUR wife stack up?

                    Liz got a high score, but there's room for improvement. I think it's time for a little "chat" about a few subjects.
                    PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

                    Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

                    Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Wife rating scale: how does YOUR wife stack up?

                      My wife scored very high, although she does not give me manicures or does my hair, we live off the land and have no need for silly things like manicures. we have 6 children. My wife is of natural beauty like females were in the time of jesus. None of this "wavy hair" business. It is always washed with natural soaps and neatly combed.
                      This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --Admin

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                      • #12
                        Re: Wife rating scale: how does YOUR wife stack up?

                        Originally posted by S_Sylver View Post
                        My wife scored very high, although she does not give me manicures or does my hair, we live off the land and have no need for silly things like manicures. we have 6 children. My wife is of natural beauty like females were in the time of jesus. None of this "wavy hair" business. It is always washed with natural soaps and neatly combed.
                        Only 6 children? why do you tolerate your wife's laziness?

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Wife rating scale: how does YOUR wife stack up?

                          Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post
                          Only 6 children? why do you tolerate your wife's laziness?
                          6 children indeed, my wife has had 12. She is now infertile and as barren as the desert sand. I am still struggling with the idea of why I keep her around.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Wife rating scale: how does YOUR wife stack up?

                            If your wife doesn't have a perfect score you should really warm up that beatin arm...
                            Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

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