Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

[Johny Joe Hold]

We at Landover Baptist can become exhausted in our mission to stamp out sin--there is so much of it. But, we cannot let up or sin will rule.

I just found out about a secret place of sin we must eliminate. It is right in our backyard here in Iowa. A couple of hours east on I-80 near Davenport is the "Blue Lake Resort." It is a nudest camp where people ignore Genesis 20:26, "...that thy nakedness be not discovered thereon."

If we could get into the camp and read the Bible to these sinners perhaps the would come to their senses. The camp management, however, requires campers to be nude and I doubt any of us would risk eternity in hell even for such a noble mission.

If anyone has an idea for reaching these unsaved souls I hope you will pass it along. Thank you.

https://qctimes.com/news/local/a-nudist-camp-in-the-rural-quad-cities-has-long/article_f1c6d981-e3ea-5cdf-9221-540511249fde.html

[VictoryOS]

Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

It would be advisable to take a more mature choice for your female representative as she would be less of a distraction to the younger sinners present. I am available to attend if you would like me to witness with you, sir.

[BibleReader2231]

Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

Mister Hold,

I have PMed you one suggestion. I have decided to offer another one that may work. If Pastor Ezekiel’s new jet has been bought finally, have you ever thought about flying banners over the nudist resort? AirDrop care packages containing The Bible as well as gallons of Popoff holy water may be effective too. If you want to hire my uncle, he has a crop duster which he could fill up with Popoff holy water in order to douse them with The Lord.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

Mister Hold,

If you want to hire my uncle, he has a crop duster

Your uncle's crop duster airplane would be perfect for pulling a banner behind it with a message condemning all the naked sinners. We can only have 4 or 5 words so let's all think about a message that would make these lustful heathens put their clothes on.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

It would be advisable to take a more mature choice for your female representative as she would be less of a distraction to the younger sinners present. I am available to attend if you would like me to witness with you, sir.

God bless you sister VictoryOS for your brave offer. I'm concerned for anyone that might enter this lust-filled den of sin. We need to ensure that anyone entering the camp be able to exit with all his/her moral integrity in tact.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

Mayor Hold and Mrs. Victory would be excellent infiltrators, as they bear an uncanny resemblance to your typical nudist couple.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

God cast out mankind from the Garden of Eden - and that means you can't walk around in your birthday suit any longer.

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

- Genesis 3:7

Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.

- Genesis 3:21

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

God cast out mankind from the Garden of Eden - and that means you can't walk around in your birthday suit any longer.

Thank you for making the word of God perfectly clear, Brother Bryan. Going in without clothes is an option not available to True Christians™.

I would guess those electricians and handymen who go in to make repairs can keep their clothes on. Maybe we could come up with some scheme like that to get inside and then distribute Bibles.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

Thank you for making the word of God perfectly clear, Brother Bryan. Going in without clothes is an option not available to True Christians™.

I would guess those electricians and handymen who go in to make repairs can keep their clothes on. Maybe we could come up with some scheme like that to get inside and then distribute Bibles.

This has been on my mind quite a bit Mayor, as the rest of us. I'm not sure where would would get some Cherubims these days, but we might be able to arrange some flaming swords.

So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.

- Genesis 3:24

[JamesH.B]

Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

Your uncle's crop duster airplane would be perfect for pulling a banner behind it with a message condemning all the naked sinners. We can only have 4 or 5 words so let's all think about a message that would make these lustful heathens put their clothes on.

This is an excellent idea, Mr. Mayor! Might I suggest a reference to 1 Timothy 2:9 (for the women) or Leviticus 18:7-11 for any perverted parents who think it's a good idea to spit in Jesus' eyes and raise their children to run around naked like little heathens?

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

children to run around naked like little heathens?

Oh no, not good. You'd better suppress this news or else you'll have a massive influx of Catholic priests and Muslims flooding into Iowa.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

I am curious about the Upcoming Event section of your hotel site, Dennis. I see no vacancies during the Nebraska Naturist Convention announcement and a recommendation for an overflow motel five miles from yours and the offer of free shuttles during major events. Someone has to pay for that gasoline brother. Don’t let yourself get gypped.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

Thank God for Iowa winters. It is the middle of September and the cold weather is coming. Soon God's blowing snow will chase nudists from their beaches of sin.

We can pray it will not open next year.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

Why don't we just go there fully clothed and shoot them?

[Basilissa]

Re: Landover Baptist Must Close This Iowa Nudist Camp

Why don't we just go there fully clothed and shoot them?

I'm afraid that's not legal yet, Brother. However, if we give Donald J. Trump () 12 more years, we'll see!