BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

[Jim C. Lombardo]

As a former meth addict and out-of-luck alcoholic, I know how lost one's life is, without the tender touch of Jesus Christ. It's with a humble and manly single tear I announce a new outreach program - BUMS (Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation); an exciting outreach operative mission to accelerate winning souls on behalf of Christ's Army. You'd be surprised! Even in the most surly, fowl-mouthed, piss-laden, violent skidrow hobo can one see glimmers of Christ-like qualities, more so they you could ever dream to find inside any soulless atheist.

BUMS is rushing the streets at this very moment, hitting up every transient and exchanging samples of the Good News in return for their day's panhandlings. What good is a few pennies that would be libel to fuel their destruction coke addiction, comparatively to something of true value; God's greatest gift? Unfortunately, I don't possess the proper street credentials, being a mere Forum Member, to handle the task of any real prosthelytizing. I'm along as a case example witness and coin collector, working alongside a True Christian™ minister, who unfortunately cannot be named here, for legal reasons.

1 Timothy 6:10

10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.




Nevermore, BUMS is here to pierce those flopheads with something greater, Jesus Christ, their King, who died on the cross for their (many) sins.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

It's with a humble and manly single tear I announce a new outreach program - BUMS (Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation); an exciting outreach operative mission to accelerate winning souls on behalf of Christ's Army.

Sounds intriguing, dear. Where is this program set up and why are you announcing it here and not there?

I'm along as a case example witness and coin collector, working alongside a True Christian™ minister, who unfortunately cannot be named here, for legal reasons.

Nonsense. True Christians™ know to keep separate from the Spiritually Walking Dead, and True Christian™ pastors work exclusively with True Christian™ men of good repute, even if they do march into dens of iniquity from time to time on a mission from God. No pastor of God's Favorite Church would forget to head Jesus' warning:

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?
and what communion hath light with darkness?
And what concord hath Christ with Belial?
or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols?
for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them;
and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing;
and I will receive you,
2nd Corinthians 6:14-17

[Jim C. Lombardo]

Re: BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

Sounds intriguing, dear. Where is this program set up and why are you announcing it here and not there?

Hello Mary, thank you for your response. We are stationed in Glasscock, Texas and are looking to expand to other parts of America. We thought, while perhaps Freehold has no need of our services, we could station BUMS at the homeless camp nearby, they affectionately dub, "Freeload, Iowa." Perhaps you never heard of it, or even would regard it if you did. It's snug in a section outside Des Moines.

Nonsense. True Christians™ know to keep separate from the Spiritually Walking Dead, and True Christian™ pastors work exclusively with True Christian™ men of good repute, even if they do march into dens of iniquity from time to time on a mission from God.

I don't know what to say. I know little about this guy. Maybe he isn't really True Christian™, nor did I really ask. Perhaps he's a renegade who escaped stepped outside of Freehold? It's nice he wants to spend time with me.

[Basilissa]

Re: BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

I don't know what to say. I know little about this guy. Maybe he isn't really True Christian™, nor did I really ask. Perhaps he's a renegade who escaped stepped outside of Freehold? It's nice he wants to spend time with me.

Well, if you haven't even asked the guy if he was Saved(tm), then I call your first post false advertising, dear.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

Clearly someone needs to learn how to stop pitying the poor. Where is that whats-his-name, (what's-zer-name?) Social Construct guy? Anyone seem him/zer lately?

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

Clearly someone needs to learn how to stop pitying the poor. Where is that whats-his-name, (what's-zer-name?) Social Construct guy? Anyone seem him/zer lately?

Oh please, Brother Jeb, don't invoke his/zer/zits name. Have we not suffered enough?

[Jim C. Lombardo]

Re: BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

Well, if you haven't even asked the guy if he was Saved™, then I call your first post false advertising, dear.

If I gave the name, would that shed some light, Sister?

[Sally Paulson]

Re: BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

First of all, they call it "Freakhole, Iowa", and if you want to preach there you're moose huntin' on thin ice. They guard their turf there, and people tend to show up dead with few questions asked and less answered.

Remember Brother Trent? He doesn't post so much because of a brain injury, and not from hitting his head on the keyboard while arguing with unsaved trash. He still can't remember what happened down the freakhole. Says his crew took more casualties there in a night than his squad took in its entire deployment to Iraq.

Even Dr. Laurie can't find a painkiller that can help him, and that woman is known as "patient zero in the opiate epidemic".

I hope you're really, really good at faith healing. Do you know which prayer is best for a sucking chest wound?

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

What are you talking about Sally? It's not that bad.

Edit: Oh, I get it. Never mind.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

Clearly someone needs to learn how to stop pitying the poor.

Indeed. The Holy Bible has something to say about avoiding poverty, of course; they bring it upon themselves because they're addicted to sleep. I have no sympathy for addicts.

Love not sleep, lest thou come to poverty;
open thine eyes, and thou shalt be satisfied with bread.
Proverbs 20:13

[Jim C. Lombardo]

Re: BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

Oh I don't pity them, not one bit. I look at them and wretch at the reminder of how I once was, and how far I've come to dispel my old ways.

Knowing from experience, you'd be surprised how much these people collect on a daily basis. It seems a shame to think of all that squandered money being held out from Christ? That where BUMS step in.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

What are you talking about Sally? It's not that bad.

Darn right, it's just a scrape. Just a flesh wound. I just walked it off. That bump has always been there. A speedbump to slow my balding. And I'm only bald because they set it on fire, those prankey rascals.

And Dr. Laurie medicine does just fine, it cures my cravings for the previous medicine I took, even if it doesn't do so much for the headaches, confusion, dizziness, sudden vomiting, vomiting after long periods of nausea, blurry vision, and pieces of skull turning up in places where pieces of skull are not supposed to be.

I don't sweat the small stuff. Except when I have sweating spells, but that's just a side-effect of the pills. I can't complain.

What were we talking about again? Please type with big letters, or at least stop typing with the blurry ones.

[Social Construct]

Re: BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

Clearly someone needs to learn how to stop pitying the poor. Where is that whats-his-name, (what's-zer-name?) Social Construct guy? Anyone seem him/zer lately?

I've been busy. The proposal of alliance between True Social Justice™ and True Christianity™ is being written, but it's hard not to get sidetracked with so many people wearing racist clothes, sitting in sexist ways, eating transphobic breakfast cereal, and fluffing their pillows in ways that encourage hetronormaltive hegemonic systemic academic imperialism.

Here's an article about things we hold in common, and there's another one, I'd look for the link but it seems twitter is suffering from an outbreak of fat-shaming-adjacent-splaining - in 2019!!!!!

Up and away and you're welcome.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

Glasscock, Texas

Watch your mouth Jim! This is a family forum!


I direct your attention to Ephesians 4:29. Thus saith the Lord, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."

Frankly, I never thought I'd hear a member of this forum lobbying for hoboes and urchins. Doesn't Big Homeless have enough power already?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: BUMS - Bringing Unsaved Mendicants Salvation

Watch your mouth Jim! This is a family forum!

I'm sure he can't help it that Texas is overrun with Sodomites and perverts, brother. He didn't name the town, after all. Why any normal person would choose to live where scorpions come into your house and into your bed when you're sleeping and get into the peanut butter and dance with the cockroaches all night long is beyond me. Thank God Jesus had the foresight to move my grandmother to Iowa lo these many years ago? Come to think of it, Jesus orchestrated my family generations back, all the way from farming in England back when St. Patrick was in diapers, just so my great-great-great grandfather would be in a position to want to emigrate to the Americas for economic opportunities. And also orchestrate the other side of my family so my great-great-great grandmother would meet him at the side of a river during a church sponsored environmental clean-up that got rid of the Indians in the region. I don't know how He could have gotten all that straight, it would be so confusing for me, but then He is omnipotent and all. And merciful to have spared me from being born in Texas.