[Jedediah]

Indeed. The loss of my grandchildren is much worse than the supposed "Holocaust", however, since there is a strong chance they would have gone onto accept Jesus and glorify Him, unlike the Christ-killing Jews.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Luckily, there is a new Christian service to provide care for you and yours in this time of need.

[David_Arland]

To be honest, I've never thought of masturbation as murder before. Keep in mind I would never stoop so low as to do the despicable act, but it never crossed my mind before. You kind lot have opened up my eyes to see the murder that it truly is.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[FeministSocialistSlut]

How many of those sperms would have actually became living things? 6/150,000 so in reality is it really that sad.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by FeministSocialistSlut

How many of those sperms would have actually became living things? 6/150,000 so in reality is it really that sad.

It could have been the next Godly Kirk Cameron.

[BWells91]

Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer

Did the cream pie that I sent you make it OK? I helped Widow Helen make it for you, not because I'm much on doing women's work, but because I thought it would be more meaningful if I put some of myself into it rather than just telling Widow Helen to give you pie.
We froze it and put it in a cooler, then sent it FedEx, so it should still be cold.

I swear I might have gone into cardiac arrest from how hard I just laughed right now!
good stuff right there, thank you Rev.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Originally Posted by BWells91

I swear I might have gone into cardiac arrest from how hard I just laughed right now!
good stuff right there, thank you Rev.

A man helping in the kitchen is hardly funny.



You were asked to make a thread of your own in the Introduction Forum. I must've missed it.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[H. Montague Worthington]

It's sad when young people go astray. They need to develop themselves into upright young men, as sturdy as a shaft. And once they achieve that posture, they need to polish themselves into strong, bright shining young men. Well, here..... I'll let Dr. Jack Schaap of First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana describe it, as he did to the young boys and teenagers watching at a youth retreat when this video was made....

[Thaddeus Allerton]

I know I'm new here but I think you may have been a bit hard on your son. Please hear me out. "Spilling one's seed", on the surface, may look like a sin. I'll give you that...HOWEVER, I have much experience in the subject and I have found that you can spill your seed IN the name of God. Yes, it's true. For example, there is a very very gay bath house right around the corner from where I park my trailer the things that go on there would shake your Christian foundation TO THE CORE. Sodomy, fellatio, and dance music. What i have done, brothers and sisters, is I haven taken the act of masturbation and turned it into a weapon of God. When that bath house closes at 2am, I sneak in their and I "spill my seed" into the un-pure waters, counter-acting the evil seeds that are swimming around that water, eventually making their way to the sewer system where who knows what happens then. By me, a God fearing Christian, mixing my seed with the evil seed...well...I can only begin to imagine what atrocities I may have prevented. Brother Jedediah, your son was BLESSED with this gift of spilling his seed. He must now learn to control it, to use his knowledge in warding off the evil sperm that has infected this great nation of ours. I will be more than happy to take him under my tutelage and show him the proper way to use this extraordinary gift God has given him. Please email me a picture of him to give me a better perspective of what we are dealing with.

[dr wayne kerr]

Brother Jedediah,

After reading this tragic case i couldnt help but weep. I went to get a tissue to dry my eyes but seeing the wet tissue, it only made me think of all of those lost christian soldiers.

have you double checked to see his source of misguided inspiration?
I can totally understand in that time of confusion and dismay it might have been overlooked, but still needs to be on a checklist for others.

All seeds must be saved to produce future upstanding Baptists as the joos, panheads and darkies reproduce at a rate that will soon be to much for 1 church to handle.

i can send you a spare AR15 if you need?
i buy in bulk so its not an issue to help a fellow brother in his time of need.


heart felt sympathy from Australia

[Repentant Heathen]

Originally Posted by TheDevilsLeftBall

How did Jedediah lose millions of grandchildren. He only lost one at the most as only one sperm would've gotten in. And what would Jedediah rather want, his son spilling his seed on the ground or his son knocking up a young teenager?

If he was married to the girl then yes by all means, but spilling seed is murder each sperm baby is precious life from GOD.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Originally Posted by Repentant Heathen

If he was married to the girl then yes by all means, but spilling seed is murder each sperm baby is precious life from GOD.

Spilling seed is murder whether you are married or not.

Genesis 38:6-10 (Wasted Sperm)

9 But Onan knew that the children would not belong to him, so when he had intercourse with his brother’s widow, he let the semen spill on the ground, so that there would be no children for his brother.
10 What he did displeased the LORD, and the LORD killed him also.*

[DolliMoans]

I know this tragedy happened many years ago, yet I've been seeing more sperm baby funerals more and more...

I wanted to give a gentle reminder for the next one to not let your nigress cook listlessly mix up the specimens of the deceased in with the Ambrosia salad!

[GreatScott]

f

Originally Posted by Thaddeus Allerton

I know I'm new here but I think you may have been a bit hard on your son. Please hear me out. "Spilling one's seed", on the surface, may look like a sin. I'll give you that...HOWEVER, I have much experience in the subject and I have found that you can spill your seed IN the name of God. Yes, it's true. For example, there is a very very gay bath house right around the corner from where I park my trailer the things that go on there would shake your Christian foundation TO THE CORE. Sodomy, fellatio, and dance music. What i have done, brothers and sisters, is I haven taken the act of masturbation and turned it into a weapon of God. When that bath house closes at 2am, I sneak in their and I "spill my seed" into the un-pure waters, counter-acting the evil seeds that are swimming around that water, eventually making their way to the sewer system where who knows what happens then. By me, a God fearing Christian, mixing my seed with the evil seed...well...I can only begin to imagine what atrocities I may have prevented. Brother Jedediah, your son was BLESSED with this gift of spilling his seed. He must now learn to control it, to use his knowledge in warding off the evil sperm that has infected this great nation of ours. I will be more than happy to take him under my tutelage and show him the proper way to use this extraordinary gift God has given him. Please email me a picture of him to give me a better perspective of what we are dealing with.

what in God's beautiful, amazing creation even is this schlocky attempt to justify masturbation