Looking to expand my resume.

[Uncle Rutherford]

As an ex-negro who has unlimited admiration for the White Christian Man whom I believe is a role model all nigras, gooks, and other minorities to follow to get closer to Jesus, I decided to look at my resume and make a list of all the White Christian Men who I have worked for. I count only 12. I decided to post this personal ad looking for work with men who need help within the Freehold community. Pay is not an issue. This is solely to make my resume look better and to give back to the Freehold community. Shovelin? I’ll shovel. Clean your gutters or septic tank? That’s a job I’m an expert at. Pickin the crops at your farm? Do you even need to ask?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Looking to expand my resume.

As an ex-negro who has unlimited admiration for the White Christian Man whom I believe is a role model all nigras, gooks, and other minorities to follow to get closer to Jesus, I decided to look at my resume and make a list of all the White Christian Men who I have worked for. I count only 12. I decided to post this personal ad looking for work with men who need help within the Freehold community.

Brother Rutherford, I think you are plotting a good strategy for your career by building a resume of recommendations from white men. However, I'd like to see you build credentials as a True Christian™ at the same time.

For example, I've thinking of a Sin Patrol in Freehold. Those on patrol would look for residents in Freehold and nearby communities committing sin and give them warnings about the hell they face for eternity. There is so much work to do, women wearing provocative clothes, homer hangouts, provocative music, men with gold earrings, the list goes on.

If you think this would interest you please PM me and we will make arrangements.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Looking to expand my resume.

Mr. Mayor is correct as always. I wonder if advice on pie snatching is something Mr. Rutherford could help with. What is the pie snatcher looking for when he's on the prowl; what events lead a man to compulsively snatch pie; what should Landover leadership do to persuade pie snatchers that it is in their best interests to move to another town.

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: Looking to expand my resume.

Glory to Jesus! My houseboys are much too delicate to clean and rub my septic tank. You're hired. In compensation, I can increase your tithes to 15% of your income!

Here's the diagram. You can read, can't you?



See the manhole? You'll enter through my manhole and get rid of all the scum and rub it clean! My houseboys - as ready as they are to service my needs - are too afraid to penetrate the manhole and I need a good pair of working hands to fight through the entry. Pax vobiscum or whatever (I'm doing my Pope studies as you can see ).

Oh yes. A fair warning that a clearing will need to be cut through on the surface of your yard to dig into first. Second, will I have access to flush your toilets to get some good flow into your manhole? Having on my resume that I cleaned and serviced Pastor Ezekiel’s pipes are sure to be the shining reference on my resume!!!!!

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: Looking to expand my resume.

Brother Rutherford, I think you are plotting a good strategy for your career by building a resume of recommendations from white men. However, I'd like to see you build credentials as a True Christian™ at the same time.

For example, I've thinking of a Sin Patrol in Freehold. Those on patrol would look for residents in Freehold and nearby communities committing sin and give them warnings about the hell they face for eternity. There is so much work to do, women wearing provocative clothes, homer hangouts, provocative music, men with gold earrings, the list goes on.

If you think this would interest you please PM me and we will make arrangements.

I would be absolutely interested in being a watchdog for the Sin Patrol. Once I clean and service Pastor Ezekiel’s plumbing I will be sure to meet up with you to discuss the details.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Looking to expand my resume.

Uncle Rutherford--The last thing in the world I want is for the good Pastor's plumbing to go unserviced. But, if you could move that project along and check in with me at City Hall as soon as possible it would be greatly appreciated. There is sin all around us and we need to get started on the Sin Petrol project sooner rather than later.

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: Looking to expand my resume.

Holy comoley!

My chutes have never been this clean. That was the most thorough extended session to rub all the dirt from my pipes. Faith Machine was never as efficient and his tools never seemed to fit my sewer system as perfectly. And it is astonishing, Unca R-ford, that your skin complexion was the same after exposure to all that filth. I must say that the flow is like in the days of Noah before he was raped by Ham, your ancestor.

If it's OK, I'll send my houseboys to you for some educational sessions. Praise Jesus. Btw, waiting for your tithes still. The jet doesn't pay itself, capische?

Oh yes M̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ Pastor Ezekiel. I owe it to my large tools I own that you can’t find in most places. Some say my large cleaning tools are impressive and that they envy them. I like to laugh it off when they say they envy my large tools and remind them about Exodus 34:14. Feel free to send over them boys. I’ll whip them into shape and show them how to get pipes cleaned EFFICIENTLY. Sounds like they lack discipline and need a whuppin.

As for your tithes, I do believe the Western Union money order I sent last week shows that it’s cleared. If it didn’t, let me know and I’ll send a new one. God Bless you M̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ Pastor Ezekiel and if your pipes need another cleaning, do let me know!

[Dana723]

Re: Looking to expand my resume.

I am very proud of you Uncle Rutherford! It's not often you see a Nigra trying to better themselves!


But just remember what the Bible says:

Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil. Jeremiah 13:23

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: Looking to expand my resume.

I am very proud of you Uncle Rutherford! It's not often you see a Nigra trying to better themselves!


But just remember what the Bible says:

Ahem!!!!!! I am an EX-NIGRA. If you feel you need further proof, you can take a look at my collection of studies on my heroes Clint Eastwood and Ronald Reagan. And don’t you forget it woman!

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Looking to expand my resume.

Ahem!!!!!! I am an EX-NIGRA.

Not to mention a True Christian(tm)! Someone, naming no names, is getting above herself here. And as for that verse ... singularly inappropriate in your case, Brother Unc.

[Basilissa]

Re: Looking to expand my resume.

Not to mention a True Christian™! Someone, naming no names, is getting above herself here. And as for that verse ... singularly inappropriate in your case, Brother Unc.

Well, the verse itself is great, but we need to remember it applies to Ethiopians. Brother Tom, on the other hand, is not Ethiopian but a True American(tm).

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: Looking to expand my resume.

My oh my! Ever since word got around that I cleaned out Pastor Ezekiel’s plumbing and septic tank, calls have been coming in left and right asking for appointments for me to come over and clean up their own clogged pipes! I knew I made the right choice! Praise Jesus!!!! I may have Pastor Ezekiel’s tithes in early at this rate!

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: Looking to expand my resume.

This is nice but you gotta know that my needs come first. That will serve Jesus in the best possible manner as I am the #1 evangelist of His good news. I need you to cater to my requests at least once a week unless a clot blocks my sewers in which case you need to be able to come on a 24/7 basis.

If you continue to grow in godliness in your ex-nigra status, you may one day be more than a footstool in Heaven!

After careful consideration and this GODLY WHITE MAN’s kind words, I have decided that it would be best to cancel all of the other service calls (I haven’t cleaned any pipes since yours just so you know) and keep myself available for M̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ Pastor Ezekiel’s pipe-cleaning needs. There’s something about cleaning his septic tank that I found....enjoyable. And yes, you are indeed the #1 evangelist of his good news M̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ Pastor Ezekiel.